1, a sister walking in the park, met a man and said: 'Beauty gives you 100 pieces, can you see your breasts?' The girl did not say a word and received 100 yuan, and then looked at the man no

1. A girl walking in the park met a man and said, 'Beauty gives you 100 pieces, can you see your breasts?' The sister received 100 yuan without saying a word, and then looked at the man and said dismissively: Are you ready? The man smiled triumphantly and nodded his head in response, "Mm-hmm, okay, okay!" Then the girl picked up the branches on the ground and slammed the man, while pumping, she said: Really TM perverted, actually like to see me fierce!?

2, there is a young woman in the unit, divorced for two years, I wondered if I could catch her, one night I went directly to her house. She was eating dinner alone, and when she saw me, she smiled and asked, can you have some wine? I said that I can drink a little, but it is the amount of three or two. She smiled and said, that's much better than me, and I'll have a drink. I smiled and said, then the two of us who can't drink well are drinking together, and it won't be long before we get drunk. She said indifferently, drunk is drunk! As a result, before the bottle of liquor was finished, we couldn't do it. Two red clouds rose from her cheeks, and her eyes were confused, as if there were two pools of wine hidden inside. I also lost my former reservedness and Sven, I looked directly at her and said, I like you for a long time, would you like to be my girlfriend? You give me a word. She shook her head and said, I don't want to be your girlfriend. I was extremely disappointed to hear that. Wobbly ready to leave. But she grabbed me and said, I'm going to be your wife.

3. . My mother installed Taimei's air conditioner in my bedroom, and I played games with the air conditioner, which was very comfortable. As a result, I woke up groggy the next day, and I had a fever. I couldn't feel bad, so I went to the nearby hospital to get some drip. Idle and bored playing with the phone while dripping, a nurse stood in front of him and shouted, "Wooden tree, wooden tree is not there." The patients all stared at her to see if anyone responded, she looked at the list and shouted: "Lin is right, is there any name for Lin Right??" At this time, a middle-aged uncle stood up and raised his hand and said: "Your name should be me, my name is Lin Youqi, at that time, the hukou gave me the wrong one, I was going to call Lin right." As soon as the words stopped, there was a burst of laughter from the ward!!

4. After work in the electronics factory, the husband goes home to play with his daughter. Playing and playing, the husband suddenly shouted excitedly: Wife look, our daughter laughs and has dimples on her face! Ha ha! After I listened, I pointed to my face and said: Honey, you see I have dimples too. My husband looked at me with disgust and said: You are a pit.

5. Since my sister-in-law got married, I have been buying things for my mother. My mom was so happy that she couldn't keep her mouth shut all day. She took her sister-in-law's hand and said: Didn't you say the other day that there was a difference of 20,000 yuan to buy a car, mom added it to you, go buy it tomorrow. I also rushed over and took out two thousand yuan from the bag and said to my mother: Mom, I just issued the bonus, tomorrow I will buy you new clothes to go, my mother snatched it from my hand: what clothes to buy, last month you were hospitalized for appendicitis, a few thousand yuan of medicine is still my pad, this when you pay my medicine, the rest will be repaid next year.

6． The cousin is a live executive who drives a Bentley every day and lives in a villa with a sea view, but he has never found a girlfriend. The main reason was that he was too short, and he went around looking for medicine to increase his height. Once in a Baojian shop, I saw that there was a heightening medicine, and my cousin was immediately moved! The hostess said that the sky was crazy, and the cousin immediately spent 30,000 yuan to buy a treatment. As a result, a year has passed, the medicine has no effect, the cousin went to the pharmacy theory. The lady boss asked him, "Do you think you can still grow taller?" The cousin said dejectedly, "No." Lady boss: "You know you can't do it, can you blame me?" ”

7. In the winter, it is cold, and the roommate is late every day due to bed. The old class blocked the door outside the classroom, and every time he could catch him, he was then severely criticized. So, the dormitory director secretly changed his alarm clock to a recording of the class teacher: Why haven't you gotten up yet! The next day, as soon as my roommate arrived at class, he said to us, "You know what? The class teacher had just gone to the dormitory, and I was so frightened that I didn't even dare to look at him, so I came up, and my clothes were all worn on the road!

8. The big boss's office ran out of water, and the female assistant called the water delivery worker! The water delivery man was a great uncle, watching him tremble and put the bucket on the water dispenser, and the big boss rushed to help him. The big boss said: Uncle, you are so old, why do you still do such a tiring job, how much money can you earn in a month? Uncle wiped his sweaty smile: more than 9,000 yuan!

9． Colleagues asked me to play her boyfriend, to cope with the family blind date, after dinner, her father took me alone to a room, took out a 1 million cash, I immediately said: "Uncle, I understand what you mean, I will leave your daughter, but you don't tell her, I think she is more acceptable." The uncle said: "No, young man, you think too much, I want to say that you are married, this 1 million is the dowry, provided that you cherish her." "After saying that I was immediately asked to collect the money, I looked at 1 million, thinking about his 150 pound daughter, a little confused.

10． Yesterday Bought a chicken home to stew chicken soup to drink, and my three-year-old son has been watching from the side curiously. I took a knife in my hand and closed my throat, then threw the chicken on the ground and let it bleed. As a result, the chicken threw away his son in blood, and the son was so frightened that he ran and cried and ran out of the gate. I was afraid he would fall, so I quickly chased him out. As a result, as soon as I came out of the gate, I was kicked down by my daughter-in-law, and only later did I know that my daughter-in-law saw me chasing my son with a kitchen knife and thought I was going to cut my son! #Funny Scene of the Year ##搞笑一刻 #