1. My husband took advantage of my shower, peeked at my mobile phone, and found a text message: "So-and-so hotel, room 306." I came out of the shower and said, "I'll go out to the party in a moment.

1. My husband took advantage of my shower, peeked at my mobile phone, and found a text message: "So-and-so hotel, room 306." I came out of the shower and said, "I'll go out to the party in a moment and come back later." The husband smiled and said, "Okay, I see." Just as I was singing a happy birthday song with a group of friends around the cake in the hotel room, a strange man wearing a mask and holding a kitchen knife suddenly kicked the door open, then calmly walked over, cut the cake open, and said: "This is the service provided by this hotel for free, I wish you a happy meal, happy birthday!" ”

2. I came out of the Soho bar and found a Porsche 911 parked in front of the door. At this time, the owner of the Porsche 911 quarreled over parking fees and security guards. Then, the owner took a wad of money from the car and threw it in the face of the security guard. The security guard picked up the money and said to the owner, "Throw some more." The owner of the car said to the security guard: "Hurry up and give me the money, or I will call the police." "Then the security guard took the money apart and threw it in the owner's face one by one.

3. Dude recently figured it out and decided not to work, to do some small business on his own, to work for himself. He took out an online loan of 300,000 yuan, bought a large number of mobile phone cases, and prepared to sell them. I looked at it, the phone case is really good-looking, but unfortunately none of them are my phone model. I thought about giving my girlfriend one too, but there was no mobile phone for her, and the buddy had to let me take one back, so I picked one that I thought was the best. When I got home, my girlfriend asked me angrily: Who did you buy this for? Me: I really didn't buy these ten dollars! Girlfriend: The price is known, or you said that you didn't buy it??

4. I met a beautiful woman on the Internet, at first I thought her photo was a network image, but then I added a V letter. I clicked into her circle of friends and looked at it, and it was all beautiful and shiny selfie pictures. I didn't expect the beautiful woman to look so beautiful, and I fell into it all at once. I chuckled and said: What do you think of me being your boyfriend? Beauty said: You are like a joke! I immediately became serious: I was serious. Beauty: I said that the selfies in your circle of friends are like a joke!?

5. Dad bought a Rolls-Royce, my parents have a driver's license, and they urged me to take the test. Before I was preparing for the driver's license, in order to practice my skills, I drove the tractor around the village every day. As a result, the exam was done, and without turning, I shook down the glass and looked at the front wheel. The coach asked me, "What?" I said, "This car is not as advanced as a tractor, and I can't see how the front wheels turn!" ”

6. When my cousin gets married, I follow him as a groomsman. Because as a younger brother like me, I do all the toasts and plates. During the toast, a bridesmaid was very considerate and secretly helped me replace the high wine in the bottle with boiled water. I toasted and drank at least a dozen cups. After the end, the bridesmaid said to me: "Your acting skills are really good, you don't wear any help, drinking boiled water and cracking your teeth is exactly the same as drinking liquor!" I covered my mouth and said, "Such hot water, you drink it!" ”

7. Poor young people have a great study of martial arts novels, when a person comes to a dead end, as long as he jumps off a cliff, he can get an adventure and realize his dream in life. The young man was abandoned by his girlfriend because he didn't have a house, so he wanted to have a house. The young man ran to jump off the cliff, and after the jump, he really had a house, and he didn't have to pay the property fee and water bills!!!! He jumped down and smashed a panda to death and went to jail.

8. Seeing that my daughter-in-law is getting fatter and fatter every day, I plucked up the courage to say, "Honey, you have gained at least 20 pounds again!" After hearing this, the wife was furious: "This is all to blame you, every day let me go to your house to eat, your mother cooks and eats delicious, and every time she keeps serving me food." I smiled and said, "No way, I'm an obsessive-compulsive disorder sufferer." Wife: "What obsessive-compulsive disorder?" Me: "In the past, my mother was always afraid that pigs would not be full and fat, and they would sell less money!" ”"

 #Funny##Funny paragraph# #今日笑料 #