"Husband, it's the New Year soon, have you bought a ticket home?"
"That's nature, my mother wants to make dumplings for both of us, Chinese New Year's Eve rice!"
"What? Didn't you say that you would come back to my house this New Year? How come I went to your house again? I haven't been home for the New Year in 3 years! Why! ”
"If you don't go home with me for the New Year, what do a large number of relatives think of me?" Where do I put my face? ”
"Face, face is so important? I just want to go home for the New Year! ”
With tears in her eyes, the wife slammed the door and left her husband speechless in the room.
The Spring Festival is approaching, and the proposition of "who will return to their home for the New Year" has once again made a grand appearance.
In the eyes of most husbands, the wife follows her home for the New Year, which is a natural righteousness, and "going back to the in-laws' house for the New Year" is a tradition left by the ancestors.
In the eyes of most wives, going to the in-laws' house for the New Year is like a pantomime that cannot be integrated into the joy of the family, happiness is theirs, and silence is left to themselves.
Some people say: Marriage is not good, you will know in a year.
Those couples who seem to love each other in ordinary days, as soon as the New Year arrives, the hidden contradictions between the two sides are exposed, and behind the family reunion, there are hidden waves.
Especially in the In-laws' New Year, the husband sleeps late, plays cards, drinks, and is not happy;
The wife can only do endless housework, and may also be pointed out by the in-laws.
It is not so much to go back to the in-laws' house for the New Year, but to go to the in-laws' house as a nanny.
Does such a deformed reunion really make sense?
-1-
Who's going back to for the New Year
Involved is a family farce
The most classic "who to go home for the New Year" contradiction farce is the couple on the highway two years ago.
On the Xuzhou Expressway in Jiangsu Province, the couple suddenly made a big fuss about whose house they went to to visit, and their out-of-control wife even grabbed the steering wheel and cried:
"Let's all die together!"
When the police persuaded the couple, the wife angrily asked her husband:
"I went to your house last time, why don't you go to my house this time?"
Even if the wife's behavior of disregarding the safety of driving is not right.
But the profound reason behind the deep investigation is that they are aggrieved, angry, helpless, and even sent out excessive remarks about "ending up with their husbands".
Perhaps in this way, it is possible to be allowed to return to her mother's home for the New Year.
China Youth Daily once conducted a survey of married people under the age of 35 in 2001, and the data showed:
70.0% of the married young people surveyed are being plagued by the question of "who to return to for the New Year".
70.9% of married young people surveyed believe that it is conducive to family harmony to deal with this problem well.
61.1% of the married young people surveyed suggested that the two families rotate back, which is relatively fair.
Nowadays, "Whose home is the New Year" is one of the most difficult questions to answer after "your mother and I fell into the water at the same time, who did you save?".
The problem of "who to go back to for the New Year" will definitely affect family harmony once it is not handled properly.
Everyone knows this.
Xiao Qi, from Yunnan, had just received a marriage license and was not yet married, and suddenly she was afraid of marriage.
She spoke to us with trepidation:
My husband was brought up by my mother-in-law.
He works in the power department, and the unit has to arrange a duty every Spring Festival, and he cannot leave the local area.
Just this year, I just got the license, I discussed with my husband, can I go back to my mother's house to accompany my parents during the New Year, anyway, after the Spring Festival, I will go back to my mother-in-law's side to do the wedding, and then I will visit my mother-in-law.
Unexpectedly, the mother-in-law broke out and scolded:
"You tell her that if you don't come back for the New Year, don't come back in the future, don't come back for any wedding!" lose face! ”
Speaking of this, Xiao Qi not only choked up:
"My husband is even more excessive, my mother-in-law scolds me like this, and he doesn't help me, as if I'm the one who does something wrong all over the world..."
Xiao Qi was bitter in her heart.
How could she not have imagined that before she married, she had been restricted from going home for the New Year, and if she really married in the past, would it be a luxury to go home on weekdays?
If you know this, you should listen to the old man, and girls will never marry far away!
-2-
Not a multiple choice of 1 out of 2
The opposite of Xiao Qi is the story of @aluba netizens.
My husband and I are only children, away all year round, busy, to put it bluntly, every year can accompany their parents, just a few days of the New Year.
So, in the first year after marriage, we negotiated to go home for the New Year, and then the parents of both sides got together, drank wine, and had a meal.
He never complained to me about anything, I thought it was a matter of course, everyone agreed, until yesterday I met with my husband and friends, friends asked about the New Year, my husband said:
In the beginning, my parents definitely disagreed (going back to their respective homes), so I talked to them for a long time.
I felt that my family's concept must be changed by myself, and I could not push my wife to the cusp of the storm.
Later, my parents agreed, and later both sides were happy.
I was in tears after listening to it.
Not pushing your wife to the cusp of your relatives and family is what a good husband should look like.
There are many wives who suppress their thoughts of their mother's family and follow their husbands back to their in-laws' house for the New Year.
You know, this is not an obligation that must be fulfilled as a wife, but she wants to pay a little more for the family, and make consideration and compromise for the relationship between husband and wife.
All this is not taken for granted, but is a last resort to take into account the overall situation.
"Who to go home for the New Year" seems to be just a choice of 2 choices and 1s, but in fact, it is full of learning and upbringing.
Its profound connotation is whether the husband and wife can respect and understand each other; whether they can tolerate each other and put relationships and feelings first.
In particular, the role of the husband, while abandoning the traditional pedantic concept of "having to go back to the in-laws' house for the New Year", should stand on the cusp of the storm of parents and relatives and support his wife.
I have always believed that there are not so many unreasonable in-laws under the heavens, and they will definitely understand it if they are moved by affection and understand it.
The key to understanding lies precisely in whether the husband stands idly by or dares to stand up and protect his wife's right to return home.
-3-
Whoever goes home for the New Year, the best plan is...
A combination of beauty and talent, the woman's papi sauce has disclosed her own "New Year homecoming" plan in the variety show.
I have always believed that your son is the most important to your parents, and to my parents, their daughter is the most important.
So in fact, whether the son-in-law should bring it back, whether the daughter-in-law should go to the in-laws' house, this is secondary, we first go to accompany our parents better.
But in fact, how many people can live as freely as Papi Sauce and his husband?
If you want to really solve the problem of "who to go back to for the New Year", you have to see whether the husband and wife can talk about the consistency of the three views.
1. Friendly consultation and consensus
Don't wait until the New Year to start negotiating who to go back to, on weekdays, both husband and wife should remember:
My parents are my parents, and your parents are your parents.
There is no reason why you can immediately have a deep relationship with each other's parents because you are married.
Whether it is the in-laws' family or the mother's family, going back to any home for the New Year is to snub the other 2 elderly people.
Don't say anything like "I am an only child, I must go home with me, your family has brothers and sisters, the old man is not alone" such nonsense, going home to find my mother in the New Year is my own right, and whether there are brothers and sisters has nothing to do with it.
The reunion is never that the parents are accompanied by someone, but the parents have me to accompany.
If the two families are far apart, you can choose to take turns to sit in the village, this year's in-laws, next year's mother-in-law's family, but both sides must keep their promises and do what they say.
If the distance is not too far, choose to Chinese New Year's Eve mother-in-law's family for the New Year, the second mother's family to visit the New Year at the beginning of the year, both of which are taken into account, isn't it beautiful?
2. Bring two parents to their own city for the New Year
If economic conditions permit, the parents of both parties will be taken to their own cities to let them feel the style and freshness of the New Year in a different place.
Chinese New Year's Eve the whole family is lively and lively to welcome the New Year, and the New Year has repeatedly traveled collectively to see the great rivers and mountains of the motherland.
This is also a line of thought, every family has a difficult scripture, but the method is always more than difficult.
Of course, such a method is not a foolproof solution, its premise must be the old people of the two families, gentle and easy to get along with, otherwise it may also cause other contradictions.
3. This year's initiative: New Year's Eve on the spot
This year is a little special, the state proposes that we celebrate the New Year on the spot, during the Spring Festival, "non-essential, do not return to the hometown", then we will follow the country and honestly stay in our own homes.
The advantage of this is that for young people, they can really take a year off, sleep until the third pole of the day, and no one will nag, and there will be no relatives with "broken mouths" to promote the second child.
During the Spring Festival holiday, video calls with the elderly are more, so that the four elderly people can also see their children as much as possible to solve the pain of lovesickness.
After the holiday, taking time off on the weekend to go home and reunite is not only needed during the Spring Festival.
Some people say that home is the most unreasonable place, and once you enter marriage, it means that there is no only standard answer to everything.
The question of "who to go home for the New Year" is the same.
Instead of fighting between husband and wife for a "fish dead net", it is better to calm down, think in a different position, and understand each other.
There's not much time left before you go home for the New Year, are you ready? Tell us about the message area!
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