A man promised his daughter-in-law that he would buy her a villa within 25 rings of Beijing. The daughter-in-law was not at ease, so she flew to Beijing to investigate. Got off the plane, took a taxi and asked the taxi driver, "Master,

A man promised his daughter-in-law that he would buy her a villa within 25 rings of Beijing. The daughter-in-law was not at ease, so she flew to Beijing to investigate. After getting off the plane, I took a taxi and asked the taxi driver: "Master, where is the 25th Ring Road in Beijing?" Driver: "Beijing's 7 rings are in Tianjin, 8 rings are in Hebei, 9 rings are in Xingtai, 10 rings are in Handan, and 20 rings are in Xinxiang." The daughter-in-law said, "I go, these 25 rings, don't you get Jiaozuo?" The driver smiled slightly and said, "No, it's the Danjiangkou Reservoir!" ”

2. Get up in the morning to go to the toilet, when you pass through your parents' room, you find that there is no one inside.

So on a whim, he sang loudly: "My family lives on the high slope of the loess, my father is my mother's cousin, the two are not married and sneaky, so there is me, there is ..."

The word "I" in the back has not yet been sung, and a spatula breaks through the door!

I asked in a frightened voice, "Who?" ”

A familiar voice came from the kitchen: "Your mother is her cousin!" ”

3. Socializing and drinking, it was very late to get home, in the haze, I saw my mother was mopping the floor, I took out 200 pieces and stuffed it into my mother's hand. Me: Mom, give you some pocket money, don't let my daughter-in-law know. My mom took the money and yelled, "Are you drinking again?" Me: Shhh, how do you know that? Mom: You see clearly, I am your daughter-in-law. Also, where did this 200 bucks come from, say!! I.....

4 My second aunt introduced me to a girl and asked me to meet her in the evening. The girl asked: Do you have a room? I smiled helplessly and said no. The girl showed a disdainful look and said, You are a poor boy, you can't even afford to buy a house. Then he got up and got ready to go. I immediately said: Wait! Girl, you are blind, do you really think I am so poor that I can't even afford to buy a house? Let me tell you the truth, I'm so poor I can't even pay for tonight's meal. You settle the bill!

5 I didn't expect that the four-year relationship in college was less than a dime of money, and after graduation, my girlfriend ran away with the second generation of the rich. After three years, I took the bus out today, and I saw an empty seat next to a beautiful woman on the bus. I sat down calmly, and before I could sit still, the beautiful woman said quietly, "Want to talk to me?" I asked, "Why did the beautiful woman say that?" She replied, "There are two of us in this car, and you're blind to me!" ”

6 Just after returning home from work, I was embarrassed to remember that the key had landed in the unit. Thinking that my wife should have arrived home before work, I knocked on the door and said: Wife, open the door, I forgot to bring the key! Suddenly, the door opened a small slit, and my wife handed me the key and closed it again. Soon, she opened the door for me again and dragged me into the house with a black line, but fortunately no one saw me!

7 I am an emergency department physician at a hospital and drive my Maybach home after work. On the way I saw a man lying next to a car, motionless, and as soon as I saw that the situation was not right, I quickly jumped out of the car and said to the person lying on the ground: I am an emergency doctor in the hospital, can I help you? The man lying on the ground suddenly moved and said, "Okay, can you help me fix this tire that should be SI?"

8 Hair Xiao was the first of our buddies to fall in love, but several of us were married and he was still slow! We were all curious about how he wasn't in a hurry at all, and asked him if he wouldn't say anything! We didn't understand it until the day of the wedding! He drank too much wine, ran to our table and cried, saying: "It is still miscalculated, waiting for so long to wait for the last marriage, I originally planned to earn a car by relying on my share of money, I didn't expect this price to rise so badly, I still lost!" ”

9 The beautiful sister of our company came to me and said, let me be his boyfriend for a few days, pay per time, and at least make ten thousand in the end.

Having money and having women, this kind of benefit I may refuse! After arriving at my sister's house, I had a good chat with the second elder and was very satisfied with me, so I asked me when we were getting married.

I accidentally dripped oil on my pants while eating, and my aunt helped me wash them and let me go take a shower. After taking a shower, I found that there was no towel, so I shouted, I didn't expect to get used to it at home, and I shouted with my mouth: Mom, towel!

Half a minute later, my sister's mother smiled and handed me the towel, patted me on the head, and said: Silly child, really sensible, Dad said boy, change your mouth very quickly? This "mom" called your mom no longer has to sleep badly!

10 I went back to my girlfriend's house once, but my shorts were washed and I didn't bring any new ones. When I was taking a shower, I opened the door and said, "You can help me buy a pair of shorts!" "Nice!" She obediently replied. But after half a day, there was no movement at all, and I was anxious, "Did you buy it?" "I bought it, I'm ready to ship it!" I stayed in the bathroom worrying, it was a long time.

11 Tomorrow for the college entrance examination English listening test, one of my brothers said to me confidently: ''I have prepared for this test all night.' ''

I asked him incredulously, 'What?' Listened to it all night? ''

He said with a straight face, I took out all the night's ear for this listening test! ''

Finished, I feel like I'm losing at the starting line, what to do?

12 When I saw an Apple 8 in the mall, I wanted to contact the owner to return the phone to her. Today the phone suddenly received a text message: unlock password, 1996, no thanks! Because I asked my husband to buy me an iPhone XSmax! I smiled, turned on my phone, then opened WeChat and sent a text message to his husband. Say: Your wife is in a hurry in the morning, and the mobile phone has landed on me. 

 #年度搞笑名场面 #