The sister-in-law married an American, and after the marriage, the sister-in-law did not go out for a month, and we asked her how could this be? She said with difficulty that foreigners are really strong and will not drink and insist on drinking, as a result

The sister-in-law married an American, and after the marriage, the sister-in-law did not go out for a month, and we asked her how could this be? She said with difficulty that foreigners were really strong and did not drink alcohol, so they picked me up and couldn't stop falling on my legs and lying down for a month.

2. Traveling to live in a hotel, the mobile phone at the window vibrated twice, and it was a message from the female manager: "Xiao Wu, I miss you." A few seconds later I received: "I'm smelling you." I replied, "Where did you smell it?" Five minutes later, the female manager sent again: "The rag on your desk, it smells exactly like your body, it's too evil, throw it on the ground, you come back and remember to wash it!" ”?

3. The rich man spent 2 million yuan to marry a young flight attendant as a wife. The little petite wife was particularly distressed after giving birth to a child, and she complained about the rich for a long time. She said to the rich man: "You hurt me and lost half a life, you don't know how much pain..." As soon as the voice fell, the rich man silently took the futon to the next room to live. Half a month later, late at night, I suddenly heard someone knocking on the door of the house. The rich man asked, "Who?" What is this big night of not sleeping, running blindly? The little wife smiled and said, "Husband, hurry up and open the door, don't die!" ”

4. When the daughter is married in the old family, there is a custom of weeping and marrying, the new aunt comes to pick up the relatives, and the mother and daughter both have a headache and cry. On that day, the aunt married her daughter, and as a result, the mother and daughter over-performed, and the second aunt did not catch up with a faint breath. This is good, directly by the 120 pull hospital to go, the marriage did not end. When the man picked up the bride and left, his mouth kept muttering: Is this a second marriage?

5. My mom used my scholarship to open an electric car shop. Just after graduating, I was planning to buy an electric car to ride at work, so I went to my mother's shop to see it. When I first arrived at the store, a cool little pedal caught my eye. I asked my mom: How much does this car cost? My mom said without looking up: 8888! I was amazed in my heart, I didn't expect electric cars to be so expensive, and blurted out a sentence: 666! The next second, unexpected things happened, and my mother said to me with a look of pain: No, drunk low 888!

6. Go to the restaurant to eat and see the hostess drinking alone! She said to me, "Have a bar with me?" I said, "You can't drink while driving!" The lady boss saw that I refused her, and then said, "You don't drink me alone, anyway, I will see who kisses after drinking." "I was just about to check out and leave, when I suddenly felt as if I wasn't full, so I ordered another one and sat down to eat. I ate for more than an hour in a row, my stomach was broken, I looked at the little young people who were nibbling at each other, checked out and left! Alas, the woman's words could not be believed!

7. In order to buy a house in Country Garden as soon as possible, I also have to deliver takeaways after work at Foxconn every day. Last night my girlfriend played mahjong with a friend and asked me to pick her up. I didn't even deliver the takeaway, and rushed to pick up my girlfriend. When I arrived at my destination, I noticed that she and a male player had come over with a smile. I was particularly angry, and in a trance they both walked up to me. The girlfriend pretended to be surprised: "Ah! Where are you going so late? I was so depressed that I almost choked myself: "It's okay, I'm just blind!" I don't know how long later, my girlfriend sent a message: "Don't think about it, don't blame me!" I thought about it for a long time and replied, "Yeah, I don't blame you, I blame the flies!" "Then, I deleted her friends directly.

8. I had been living with the widow next door for half a year, and the other day she suddenly threw me a bank card with 3.4 million in it. After I had the money, I immediately abandoned her and went back to my hometown to start a business. Just out of the train station, there are many small tricycles crowded at the door. An old aunt pulled me aside and asked, "Sit on three wheels?" I looked at her and didn't speak. The old aunt pulled me aside and said, "Boy, where are you going?" I muttered impatiently, "Go abroad!" The old aunt took a moment and carried my luggage to the car. "Then I will take you to the airport and get on the bus." ”

  #Funny# #搞笑段子 #