1. Today and a female colleague went to the hotel to open a room, after the end of the matter she went to take a shower, then her mobile phone rang, I don't think much about it directly, after the answer to react is her husband. Witty I spoke

1. Today and a female colleague went to the hotel to open a room, after the end of the matter she went to take a shower, then her mobile phone rang, I don't think much about it directly, after the answer to react is her husband. Witty I said: "Is it your mobile phone, I have been waiting for an hour, now people love to lose mobile phones!" Then his husband weakly replied, "Oh thank you." "Give me a thumbs up for my wit."

2. A beautiful beautiful woman was deceived into the pyramid scheme nest by her classmates, the pyramid scheme leader brainwashed her in class, the beauty was very cooperative with the serious study of the lecture, and the light of worship flashed in her eyes: I had to sincerely say, "Big brother, I worship you as a teacher, you teach me well, take me, let me learn to make money with you." As soon as the eldest brother heard that the beauty was hooked, he said to let her pay the money, and the beauty said yes, I will go home tomorrow to get the money! You must take me to the top of my life! The eldest brother heard that the beautiful woman wanted to go home to get the money, and his heart was even happier, and he continued to brainwash her: "You can ask your family to transfer money to you, so that you don't have to run around, and you can quickly seize the opportunity to get rich." The beauty said, "My father will not give me money if I don't go back, my father is a very stubborn person, he will not see me, he will not give me money." "The eldest brother is blinded by money, and he also believes in his brainwashing technology, thinking that the beauty is too simple and has been brainwashed successfully." The next morning, I asked the beautiful woman to hurry back to get the money, and the beautiful woman said grievously: "Big brother, I don't have a fare, can you borrow 600 yuan for me?" When I come back I'll pay you back a thousand dollars. "The eldest brother thought about it, anyway, the money she got back was mine, and it didn't hurt to lend her some." So the eldest brother gave the beautiful woman six hundred yuan. The female college students thanked her, thanked her again and again, and promised to return soon. A week passed, the female college student did not come back, the eldest brother waited impatiently, he picked up the mobile phone and called her and asked: "When are you coming back?" There is no chance to come back. The female college student replied: "You liar, do you really think I have been brainwashed by you?" If it wasn't for the escape, I wouldn't have bothered to act with you? I've called the police, you're waiting to be caught! The rich man spent 2 million yuan to marry a young flight attendant as a wife. The little petite wife was particularly distressed after giving birth to a child, and she complained about the rich for a long time. She said to the rich man: "You hurt me and lost half a life, you don't know how much pain..." As soon as the voice fell, the rich man silently took the futon to the next room to live. Half a month later, late at night, I suddenly heard someone knocking on the door of the house. The rich man asked, "Who?" What is this big night of not sleeping, running blindly? The little wife smiled and said, "Husband, hurry up and open the door, don't die!" ”

4. When the daughter is married in the old family, there is a custom of weeping and marrying, the new aunt comes to pick up the relatives, and the mother and daughter both have a headache and cry. On that day, the aunt married her daughter, and as a result, the mother and daughter over-performed, and the second aunt did not catch up with a faint breath. This is good, directly by the 120 pull hospital to go, the marriage did not end. When the man picked up the bride and left, his mouth kept muttering: Is this a second marriage?

5. Father: Did you steal twenty dollars? The son nodded, and the father slapped him twice! Son: Have you not eaten? The father changed into a stick and continued to fight, son: I see you don't want to live! The father beat his son half to death, son: I see that you have not eaten and took twenty dollars to buy a Snickers shelf for you to eat. My father took the snicker and ate it and fought harder.

6. Father-in-law buys a body guess eleven to choose five kinds of 5.4 million, and after divorcing his mother-in-law, he frantically pursues a female student who has just graduated from college. He directly took out 2 million and put it in front of the female students, but the female students were not moved and directly refused. There was a young guy who called and texted a female student every day, often took her out to play, and finally ended up with her. The female student smiled and said, "Sometimes, money is not complete!" As soon as the words stopped, the female student sat in the young man's private plane and said lightly: "A lot of money is perfect."

7, last night in the Internet café lol, with the brother sitting next door to me to establish a deep relationship. In the morning, the brother said that his mobile phone was out of battery and asked me if I could lend him a call. I gave it to him directly, but I didn't expect him to go out for more than half an hour and not come back! I just reacted that he may have lied to my phone! Seeing that his game page had not yet exited, I melted all his runes in one breath! Then as soon as I turned around, I saw him walking toward me with a bag of bun soy milk..."

8. The second uncle is a taekwondo champion, married to his aunt for 20 years, and has never fought. The city rated them as a model couple, and the reporter went to the house to interview the second uncle: How did you do it? The second uncle said: My wife also studied martial arts in the Shaolin Temple for several years. On the day of entering the door, the dog yelled at her, she said calmly, this is the first time, after two days, the wife poured water from the side of the dog, the dog yelled at her again, she said calmly, this is the second time, after a few days, the wife sat next to the dog to chop wood, the dog yelled at her again, the wife directly cut off the dog's leg! The reporter asked curiously: Does this have anything to do with the harmony of your husband and wife? The second uncle then said: After I saw this scene, I scolded her for being neurotic. My wife looked at me calmly and said, this is the first time. Since then, we have lived a happy life...