My sister next door chatted with me and said, "Girls are so unloving now, my 16-year-old daughter didn't come back last night!" I said, "Did you go to play with your classmates?" She said:

My sister next door chatted with me and said, "Girls are so unloving now, my 16-year-old daughter didn't come back last night!" I said, "Did you go to play with your classmates?" She said, "That's not going to work either!" So faceless, only 16 years old! The key yesterday was my 30th birthday! ”

2, today downstairs, I heard two aunts chatting there. "Your son is 30 years old, and he's been talking to his girlfriend for 3 years, right?" Why don't you get married, aren't you in a hurry? An aunt asked. My son recently told me that when his girlfriend is divorced, he will come to the door to propose to him. Another aunt said. After listening to it, I was confused

3, the boyfriend has a physique that I envy, but he wants to gain weight every day. The two of us went shopping and went to eat hamburgers, and there was a fat man next to us who was also eating in a big mouthful, and my boyfriend sighed: "I also like to eat hamburgers, why don't I grow some meat?" I listened and said with a smile: "Men, they are all blessed after marriage, and when you get married, you will be as fat as this uncle!" "After saying that, I was preparing to eat, the fat man next to me got up to leave, and the student ID fell to the ground...

4, the boyfriend is depressed: "I have two bad habits, which make me feel very troubled." The friend asked, "Really?" Let's hear it. Boyfriend: "The first bad habit is sleeping naked." The friend comforted: "This is nothing!" Others can't see it. At this time, the boyfriend couldn't help but cry bitterly: "The key is that my second bad habit is sleepwalking!"

5, hungry at night, with the buddies to buy "cloth bag steamed buns" to eat, invite the front desk sister to go together, the front desk sister said: "I go with you, but I don't want to eat..." I: "I didn't want you to eat!" Buddy God Mending Knife: "We just want you to watch us both eat!" ”

6, once I was working overtime, my father called me, it was obvious that he drank too much: "Son, where are you?" I replied, "I'm working overtime, Dad." Where are you? Dad: "I don't know where I am." I panicked: "Then you tell me, what's around you?" Dad: "I'm on a TV in front of me, next to your mom." "I... It turned out that the boyfriend was wearing the underwear that another girlfriend had bought for him!!!

7. One day, Xiaoming asked Cang: "What is your blood type?" "I'm type B." Cun replied. "Then what type of person are you?" Xiaoming asked Ma Ma again, and Ma Ma said, "I am also type B!" At this time, Xiaoming was suddenly extremely sad and shouted: You are all B type, then am I not type 2b! Mom and Dad: ...

8, at noon with the wife shopping, wife: "This shop is discounted, the price is very cheap, the style is also good, buy you two new clothes to wear!" When I paid the bill, I was touched and said to my wife: "You can also pick a few pieces, and you will pay the bill later!" The wife looked disgusted: "I don't buy it here, cheap and not good!" "I...

9, the two most admired teams in China have two sports that everyone does not have to watch at all, and there is no need to worry. One is table tennis and the other is men's football. The former is "No one can win!" The latter is "No one can win!" "What I admire most is also these two teams, the table tennis team and the men's football team. One is "no one can beat", the other is "no one can beat" ,—— this Chinese expression is also drunk!

10, in the bookstore, suddenly Ah Zhu's eyes lit up, and he saw a book called "Dreams Left on the Grassland" Alas! It's amazing that the "dream relic" will actually fall on the ground! Hurry to call Ah Hua to see, Ah Hua also excitedly opened to take a closer look, they suddenly found that the directory wrote: "Dreams, left on the grassland", Ah Zhu was disappointed, very unhappy to say: In the future I will publish a book called "The Moon Often Hangs in the Sky"

1 Once I came home from work and told my husband that I lost money on the bus and was in no mood to cook. The husband said: "It's okay, I do, you go to the game and you will be happy." After eating, my husband consciously washed the dishes. I said, "Oh, I'm sad, I don't want to wash my clothes..." He said, "Don't think about it, I'll wash it." When it was time to go to sleep, he couldn't help himself and asked me, "Daughter-in-law, how much money have you lost?" I said, "I don't dare say..." My husband pulled my hand and comforted me, saying, "It's okay, my husband doesn't blame you." I said grievously, "I dropped a steel hammer..."

12, just today just went to work, the mobile phone received a text message from a strange number: I wish my cousin a happy new year, the longer the more beautiful! Looking at the text message, I was suspicious - I don't know this person, I sent it wrong. Perhaps driven by curiosity, I replied with a text message: Who are you, please? The short message came back soon: I am your cousin, the new number!

13, the son made a little mistake, the wife did not hesitate to criticize, I hinted that her words were a little too extreme. The wife also realized that in order to ease the atmosphere, she whispered a few words. The son did not make a sound for half a day, and finally came a sentence: "Use less beauty, I am not my father!"

14. On weekends, I came to my mother-in-law's house again, and my mother-in-law, who was retired at home, went out to greet me. Mother-in-law: "Son-in-law, don't come to see me every weekend!" Me: "Mom, the son-in-law can top half a child, and my half son also has to do filial piety, don't he?" Come and see you too! Mother-in-law: "You half son, the top son, I have a pension of 8,000 a month, you and your brother-in-law, each take four thousand... ”