Today I quarreled with my wife, and the stinky woman actually told me to roll, I was angry, yelling: "Everything in this house is mine, why do you tell me to roll?" At this time, I saw the woman touching 6

Today I quarreled with my wife, and the stinky woman actually told me to roll, I was angry, yelling: "Everything in this house is mine, why do you tell me to roll?" At this time, I saw the mother-in-law touch the 6-month-old belly and coldly say: "Hmm, not necessarily."

2, friends, help a boss to do 6 years of water and electricity firefighting, in previous years from 90 blocks a day to start with the shift 4500, 6q per month, last year with me to open the 7q, this year to resume work with him to mention 8q per month, he looked at me twice, said know to consider with me, said to consider the words workers know is to talk about the egg, should I go or stay...

3, the microphone came from the financial man's calm as a machine voice: "Invoice to me, I will report to you." "Okay." Someone laughs. The next day, the finance desk was piled high with invoices. "Where did you get so much expenses on a half-month trip?!" The person who has always been calm is finally not calm," Hehe who told you to say, he hugged him and laughed, "Invoice to you, you give me a hug"

4, married to now more than a year, my wife's economic sanctions against me are more serious, resulting in my own private money now has no money. Today the company does not know what to smoke, subsidized our half a month's wages, this matter I hesitated again, or plan not to tell my wife about this matter. After a few days, my wife suddenly asked me: Don't you have anything you want to say to me? I was shocked, is it that I hid the money in the private room was exposed, so I confessed: A few days ago I issued a bonus, I was busy these days, forgot to give it to you, and will transfer it to you later. Wife: I want to say that the birthday is coming.

5, as soon as the day is cold, I immediately understand why the north is not as rich as the south! Heating costs: One month's salary is gone. Down jacket: half a month's salary. Cotton jacket, cotton pants: half a month's salary. Two pairs of cotton shoes: half a month's salary. Cotton socks, cotton hats, cotton gloves, masks, large bibs: half a month's salary. Coupled with the winter car rental garage, changing snow tires, changing antifreeze for two months' salary, this will be gone in May. In the winter, the whole meal of liquor, hot pot, big goose, killing pig vegetables for warmth, cold and cold and two injections, 7 months of salary into it. So, don't look down on northerners! You come and you are poor!

6, I go home every time! Far away, my mother taught me loudly: You are so good at picking up yourself! Dressed like a rural aunt! You see how beautiful the little beauty in the front yard looks every day! I spent half a month's salary to buy the same jacket as Xiaomei! After going home! My mom watched for half a day! Whisper to me: Don't buy the same as others! I can't talk about clothes like you!

7, every time I go home, far away from my mother will teach me loudly: you are a good way to pick up and pick yourself up, dress like a rural aunt, you see how good the front yard is dressed on a small autumn day! I spent half a month's salary to buy the same jacket as Xiao Qiu, and after returning home, my mother looked at it for half a day and whispered to me: You don't buy the same as others, you can't talk about clothes like this!

8, my sister showed off to me, the doorman uncle took special care of her, every time he saw her come back, the big old man ran out and directed her to park in the hospital. Yesterday and uncle chatted, uncle said: "Your sister drove for two months, crashed 2 community gates and 3 blocking poles, next time, maybe it will crash our security booth, I dare not come out...

9, the wife said: "Let's do it four times a month, one more time to reward a hundred, one less time to punish a hundred." The husband said: "Well, there is such a good thing in the world" In the first month, the husband received two hundred, the second month, the husband received one hundred, and in the third month, the husband was fined two hundred. My husband said helplessly: "This is the most difficult money in my life to earn." ”

10. Zhang Wuji said to Zhang Sanfeng: "Master Tai, the life of Wudang Mountain is too lonely, only Qingfeng and Mingyue can play with me." Zhang Sanfeng sighed: "It's already very good." At least there is a clear breeze and bright moon. I think when I was in the Shaolin Temple, I only had two friends, one of whom was also called Qingfeng..." "Calling the heart seal..." I really understand this

1 Now open the phone, it's all about Valentine's Day. I just want to tell you that if there is a lover, celebrate, if there is no lover, hold on, give it some face, it is a Valentine's Day, if you don't give it face, it will be at best July 7, and a buddy asked a female colleague: How can Valentine's Day be without a lover? The female colleague replied, your family Qingming Festival is not dead people still have to be killed now ah... What a painful realization...

12, high school table affairs are very beautiful girl, after many years I met her in the field, I told her that high school crush her for three years, she was shy 1 laughed and said, "In fact, we have to have a relationship with wine like the 30th of the month and the 1st of the next month 1!" "I didn't understand, in order to avoid embarrassment, I pulled away the topic, after the separation, I was thinking about what the meaning of the sentence was?

13. The chairman has only one daughter under his knees and plans to recruit a door-to-door son-in-law. In order to fight for less than 20 years, I gritted my teeth and married the wife of the chairman. I have been living in my wife's house since I got married, and I only come home once every few months. My parents always complained that I didn't care about them, didn't come back often, and had to bring me a bunch of good things to eat when I left. Later, I felt very sorry for my parents, and I was eager to go back several times a month, and my mother was finally annoyed. Every time I went back, my mother would beat me up: "Next time you stay at your wife's house for a while and then come back, good fellow, I really doubt that you went home to buy goods..."

14, a few months ago two men fell in love with a woman at the same time, the woman tangled unable to choose, thought of a way, cut off all contact with themselves to go to a strange city, who first found themselves to choose whom, a few months later the woman came back alone, the two men one is married, one has a girlfriend, hide themselves too deeply?