1. After his father retired from Samsung, he often studied delicious dishes at home. Yesterday I stewed another fish, and I couldn't help but taste it when I smelled it. Mom took a bite and asked excitedly: What kind of fish is this?

1. After his father retired from Samsung, he often studied delicious dishes at home. Yesterday I stewed another fish, and I couldn't help but taste it when I smelled it. Mom took a bite and excitedly asked: What kind of fish is this, so delicious! Dad said triumphantly: It is the yellow croaker sold in the market! After listening to this, my mother looked at me: Yellow croakers are bought, why doesn't anyone want my family's yellow flower girls?

2, husband, if I unfortunately die, will you find another one? Husband: "No, absolutely not!" The wife was moved: "Thank you husband, why don't you look for one again?" Husband: "This is not easy to die, I can't find another one, begging for myself"

3, the old family married daughter, there is a custom of weeping marriage, the new aunt came to pick up relatives, mother and daughter wrapped headaches and cried. On that day, the aunt married her daughter, and as a result, the mother and daughter over-performed, and the second aunt did not catch up with a faint breath. This is good, directly by the 120 pull hospital to go, the marriage did not end. When the man picked up the bride and left, his mouth kept muttering: Is this a second marriage?

4, someone went to eat spicy hot put half a bowl of chili oil, after eating a taxi home, walking and asking the driver; Do I fart? The driver said urgently; You let go, and I didn't block your asshole. This is good, a fart for 15 minutes, he is comfortable, just look at the blue smoke coming out of the car, can not see the road, the driver hit the double flash forward, a moment and asked the driver I put a fart line? At this time, the driver cried and said: Big brother, don't let go, the smell will be even if it is hot.

5, that will, especially like a girl, for her I practiced hard to cook the skill, and finally in a party to show their skills, won a full of applause, the girl was also surprised to say to me, I can't imagine that your dish is so good, in fact, I think the boy who likes to cook did not come out... Later, she married a cook!

6, at the end of last year, I went to my girlfriend's house for the first time, and I was particularly nervous. First I saw her mother, I called my aunt, and then her father came out of the kitchen, and I inexplicably shouted: Hello uncle! It's been a few days and I feel as if I'm single again.

7, my girlfriend worked in an Internet company after graduating from college, and was forced to add 4 hours of work every day. But recently my girlfriend left work on time, and I wondered: "The boss has been so good to you lately?" I won't let you work overtime! Girlfriend: "Mother and son, I am pregnant!" Me: "You're not married, are the children the boss's?" Girlfriend: "Of course not his." Me: "Then why do you still say that the mother is expensive by the child?" Girlfriend: "He is not good to me, I will tell her that his wife and children are his!" ”

8, my baby son's hair was surprisingly good as soon as he was born, and it was dark and long. My daughter-in-law said to me, 'Husband, let's make a fetal brush for the baby!' I said, "My son's hair is so good, I guess he can make more than one, right?" The daughter-in-law smiled and said, "Oh, yes, husband, then make a fetal hair mop!" ”

9, I especially like abstract painting, so I bought a lot of violent comic photos to paste in my room, once my girlfriend came to my house as a guest. She saw my wall of rampage cartoons and asked me if I still had this habit, I explained that it was mainly used to ward off evil spirits, and my girlfriend laughed after hearing it: "Just like you, take off your makeup to sleep ghosts can scare away, and also use to ward off evil spirits?" ”

10, came home from work to buy his little nephew his favorite teppanyaki squid, the stinky boy is very happy. The little nephew took the squid, and the brother gave it to his mother to eat. I was surprised that he was so good at protecting food. The mother pushed and said no, let the little guy hard into the mouth, had to eat. Nephew: Grandma, is the squid delicious? Mom: Delicious, Linlin is really good. Nephew: Delicious, you still don't let your aunt buy it for me? I heard both of you calling, and you said you wouldn't let me eat squid!

11, the corridor of the community is full of dried cabbage, and there are several bags of potatoes, which makes it very inconvenient to go upstairs. When I went upstairs after work at night, I suddenly saw a bag of potatoes with a note on it that read, "I want to eat my own food", such a good thing? It is estimated that people can't finish eating. I took two. As a result, just two floors up, I heard someone shouting: "Who is so immoral, even steal potatoes, I go... Who posted this strip? ”

12, the new female college student with beautiful, but has not agreed to hang out with the company guys. Before the weekend, the manager asked the female college students to dinner in front of everyone, but the female college students said: Now the weather is so good, otherwise we will go to the suburbs to go to Qingqing, right? Sure enough, it was otherworldly, so many single guys in the company followed her to the countryside, and then went to a field to help the female college student's father and mother pull out the weeds for a day...

13. A passenger was very thirsty and bought a cup of fresh milk on the side of the road. After drinking, he felt that the taste of fresh milk was very good, so he wanted to buy another cup. The boss told him there was none. "It's a pity, why don't you buy more such delicious fresh milk?" The passenger lamented. The boss sighed and said, "Blame my wife, originally I entered a bucket of fresh milk, but just when I asked her to see the store, she ran to the next door to chat, and as a result, the wild dog ran in and almost drank a bucket of fresh milk, if I hadn't driven it away in time, you probably wouldn't have been able to drink this cup!" ”

14, sometimes, I think my girlfriend is a little strange, what is strange, and I can't say, but she has always been very good to me, of course, I am also very good to her. One day, I asked her, "You look so good, why do you still want to be my girlfriend?" She smiled: "The mouth is so sweet, in fact, I already knew your boyfriend before I met you, do you think this is fate?" "I thought to myself, wow, what a fate!"