1. My sister-in-law entered the wrong room in the morning, and I joked with her: Your sister is not here, you will rest here. As a result, the sister-in-law walked straight over without saying a word: "Okay, you can be satisfied."

1. My sister-in-law entered the wrong room in the morning, and I joked with her: Your sister is not here, you will rest here. As a result, the sister-in-law walked straight over without saying a word: Okay, can you satisfy me? Me: No, no, forget it, I don't have any money, I can't buy anything, and my salary is handed over to my daughter-in-law!

2. I am an emergency department physician at a hospital and drive my Maybach home after work. On the way I saw a man lying next to a car, motionless, and as soon as I saw that the situation was not right, I quickly jumped out of the car and said to the person lying on the ground: I am an emergency doctor in the hospital, can I help you? The man lying on the ground suddenly moved and said, "Well, can you help me heal this damn tire?"

3. After learning the art of decoration with others, I opened my own decoration company. The other day I installed stairs for a family, and my father welded him nineteen steps, but it was strong. But the family did not let it change to nine steps, he said that in feng shui this is called the nine-five dignity, bless him to rise to the rank and get rich. Today, the family called my dad and wanted to change the stairs back to nineteen. My dad asked curiously: Why? He replied: The distance between the stairs is too big, and my legs are too short to go up! "

4. A girl gets on the plane and sees a man sitting in her seat. She checked her ticket and said politely, "Sir, are you sitting in the wrong place?" The man took out his ticket and shouted: "Look clearly, this is my seat, are you blind?" The girl looked at his ticket carefully, stopped making a sound, and stood silently beside him. After a while the plane took off, and the girl bowed her head and said to the man easily: "Sir, you are not in the wrong position, you are on the wrong plane!" "There is a kind of forbearance called making you regret that it is too late, if howling can solve the problem, the donkey will have ruled the world long ago!"

5. When I was a child, my academic performance was not good. Every time I came home with my report card, I would be beaten up by my father. This time it was still the same failure, and Dad said helplessly: "I really don't want to hit you anymore, let's talk about it today." "Just when I was happy, the bully in our class came to me with a blue nose and a swollen face. Dad asked in surprise, "Didn't you do well in the exam?" The classmate said sadly: "I only scored 99 points in the Chinese test, and I felt sorry for my father who was working outside, and I beat myself up." Dad was silent for a while, and silently picked up the drunken stick...

6. When I was a child, my family was poor, so I went to school with my brother and was later admitted to a prestigious university together. My brother resolutely gave up the opportunity to go to college for me. I secretly swore that I must study hard, have a bright future in graduation in the future, and then repay my brother and repay my family. Ten years later, I found that I thought too much, I couldn't find a job after graduation and ran to deliver takeaways, and as a result, my brother raised pigs at home, contracted a farm, and earned a local tycoon!

7. The sister works as a cleaner at Tsinghua University, and the brother-in-law works as a security guard at Tsinghua University, both of whom have low salaries and have a 200-square-meter house in the third ring road of Beijing. One night my sister and my brother-in-law had a fight, my brother-in-law smashed the computer, and my sister smashed the microwave! After the quarrel, the two people reconciled again, and the sister asked the brother-in-law: "Why did you smash the computer?" The brother-in-law said, "Because I have long wanted to change to a new computer, but you have not let me!" The brother-in-law asked the sister again, "Why did you smash the microwave?" The brother-in-law said, "Because I have long wanted to change to a new microwave oven, but you are too expensive to let it!" ”

8. My girlfriend's parents have always been in love with each other, and my girlfriend often says in front of me that her parents are true love and that she is just an accident. Then she told me one thing, one summer vacation, and her girlfriend who came home was playing a game on the window. At this time, her father shouted in the kitchen: Baby, come here. Then my girlfriend got up and put on slippers and went over, and when she got to the kitchen door, she asked her dad what was going on, and her dad looked up at her with a red face and said, "So, I call your mom." My girlfriend was petrified at the time... That embarrassment.....

9. After playing basketball on the basketball court, my cousin went to a nearby fruit drink shop with his friends to drink Coke. Among them, the doctor was knowledgeable, detailed the history of Coke and the difference between Coca-Cola and Pepsi in sweetness and taste, and then asked his cousin why he liked to drink Pepsi. The cousin said: Because the same is 3 yuan, Pepsi More 100 ml !!!!

10. "The sister-in-law scored 688 points in the college entrance examination, and the admission score of Tsinghua University was 687 points. At that time, I could spoil my sister-in-law and feel that my luck was too good! She happily sent a circle of friends: Haha, what luck am I, the admission line is 687 points, I just took the test 688 points! The father-in-law commented in the following seconds: Haha, good coincidence, my daughter also scored 688 points in the college entrance examination! At that time, the sister-in-law was stunned, and replied at the bottom: Dad, do you have any other daughters besides me?

11. Today is the 60th birthday of the old man, and we young people all go to wish for the birthday. I smoked and chatted with my brother-in-law and my husband about divorce. I said: I heard that the divorce procedure is more complicated than before, and it is difficult to handle. The old man asked: Really? It's harder to get a divorce later! Lian Xiang smiled and said: I am not afraid to leave no matter how complicated I am... Suddenly, I felt cold behind me, and when I looked back, my mother-in-law, daughter-in-law, and sister-in-law stood behind us with brushes, staring at us coldly!

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