1. Take a bath with my wife at night and get ready to go to bed together, this time it is already more than 10 o'clock in the middle of the night, my wife quietly said to me. Husband, such a wonderful night, we should do it

1. Take a bath with my wife at night and get ready to go to bed together, it is already more than 10 o'clock in the middle of the night, my wife said to me quietly. Husband, such a beautiful night, we should do something! So I asked her, what should we do? The wife touched her stomach, smiled and said, I think we should go to a barbecue. My eyes lit up and I said approvingly, OK, I want to eat a roast pig intestine, my wife angrily patted my head and said, the pig intestine stinks to death, it is not delicious at all, I want to eat pig intestine.

2. When I was in college, there were many clubs in the school, and I joined the taekwondo club that could strengthen my body. The club has a special training room, which we freshmen take turns to clean. Once, when I was cleaning, I accidentally broke a few wooden planks in the corner. Afraid to make me compensation, I found a few similar planks to put back. Later, the senior performed hand splitting wooden planks in front of everyone, and his hands were bleeding, and the wooden boards were fine.

3. Coal mine work, dinner day, two bottles of Wuliangye per table, which is like the New Year for coal miners who often drink alcohol. Not long after the beginning of drinking, a middle-level cadre who had just come up from the well saw that he was drinking Wuliangye, so he picked up the bottle and said to everyone: I'm sorry, I'm late, I punished myself with three cups! So, I drank three glasses of wine with the 150ml wine dispenser on an empty stomach, and even said: Good wine! Wine! Everyone, you look at me, I look at you, this bottle of wine was half killed by him in an instant! Later, the leader saw that everyone was happy to drink, so he asked the office to send a few bottles to each table, and this old few looked at so many good wines, and drank in quantity, and the result can be imagined, drinking on an empty stomach, and drinking so urgently, all returned the same way! Since then, self-punishment of three cups has become a mantra in everyone's wine field!

4. When I was in junior high school, my classmates and I were known as The Closed Eyes King Kong. Teachers don't want to see us open our eyes in class. The brother was a bully, listening with his eyes closed all year round in class, and as soon as he opened his eyes, the teacher knew that he must have said something wrong. As soon as I opened my eyes, the teacher knew that the class was about to end.

5. When my sister gave birth to a daughter, my brother-in-law was particularly excited and said to my sister: Wife and wife, our daughter gave birth, have you seen it? Looks like me, but handsome! Don't you want to take a look? At that time, my sister burst into tears and said: Since she looks like you, then I will not look at it!!

6. In kindergarten, the teacher asked the children to guess a riddle: "A knife, floating down the water, with eyes, no eyebrows." The answer should be fish, the teacher said after I was afraid it was too difficult, the children could not guess. Just prompt: "Hit a small animal." After saying that, the teacher smiled and waited for the children to answer. At this time, a little friend stood up and said solemnly: "Dad told me that animals are good friends of human beings, and we must love and protect them." Teacher, why hit a small animal? The teacher just wanted to explain, and other children responded: "I-also--no-fight."

7. The programmer has been a well-behaved baby since elementary school. Now 30 years old, he still can't smoke or drink. Today is the programmer brother once went to his girlfriend's house, in order to perform well during the meal, he picked up the bowl in front of him and said: I will not drink, first respect my uncle and aunt a bowl of rice. Then a large bowl of white rice was eaten in one gulp. In the evening, his girlfriend broke up with him, saying that after discussion, his parents thought that the programmer was either brain-faulty or a rice bucket.

8. The English teacher is the goddess of many boys in the class, and I have always had a good feeling for her. By the time we graduated, we would drink and eat together. At everyone's instigation, I took advantage of the drunkenness to confess to the English teacher!? Unexpectedly, she immediately made a phone call, and after half an hour, a handsome guy came with a child. The English teacher said: Tell me about it, this is my husband and son. I poured myself two beers in a row and pretended to be drunk...

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