01
The greatest enemy of love and marriage is lies.
In the midst of teasing and lying, everyone's relationship will begin to deteriorate until it ends in differentiation.
The protagonist in the next case is deeply involved in the lies and unreasonable kidnapping of her mother-in-law, and how does she choose to save herself?
XiaoNan has been married to Fang Zijie for five years, but she has not been happy at all in these five years.
Before getting married, Zi Jie's mother liked Xiao Nan very much, and always told Fang Zi Jie to treat Xiao Nan well, marry into the Door of the Fang family as soon as possible, and give birth to a big fat boy.
Xiaonan's parents saw that their future mother-in-law was so good to their daughter and felt that their daughter was blessed. Although Fang Zijie still has a younger brother in the family, and there is no marriage room for the time being, it is most important to have a talent who is really good to his daughter, and they have nothing else to ask for.
When the two sides talked about marriage, Fang Zijie's mother said: "Dear family, I know that our family is temporarily unable to buy a new house, and I have wronged Xiaonan." But rest assured, I have prepared a dowry of 100,000 yuan, and I will definitely treat Xiaonan as my own daughter in the future."
Xiaonan's parents looked at the family so sincerely, and they no longer asked too much and agreed to the marriage of the two children.
And Xiaonan has a quiet and kind personality since childhood, and like her parents, she will not be embarrassed at any time. Naturally, there is no opinion.
The two were married. The wedding scene was not very decent, and there was no shadow on the day of the 100,000 bride price.
However, it had been five years, and the 100,000 bride price that the mother-in-law had promised had never been mentioned again.
Xiao Nan knew that the conditions of her mother-in-law's family were not very good, and the little uncle had no conditions to get married until now, and she did not think much about the bride price.
Her carelessness did not exchange for her mother-in-law's guilt and compensation, but made her mother-in-law think that the Xiaonan family was weak and bullying.
Usually, he always talks in front of his son and daughter-in-law in a strange way, saying that whose daughter-in-law bought a gold bracelet for her mother-in-law, and whose daughter-in-law married a suite for a while.
Xiao Nan was very simple at first, and after hearing the lies made up by her mother-in-law, she also bought a gold bracelet to give a red envelope.
The mother-in-law was very happy with the gifts that she had exploited from "as desired", and she did not expect that a small plan would succeed so easily. It also encouraged her crooked mind of making up reasons for money.
And Xiao Nan did not know that the mother-in-law had pasted all the money scraped from her to the little uncle. She knew that her mother-in-law was particularly partial to her younger son, but she didn't know how eccentric she was until she had a good news.
The good news is that Xiaonan's mother-in-law's family was demolished and divided into three suites, and as a result, the mother-in-law knew that she was happier than Xiaonan herself.
She excitedly said to Xiao Nan: "Your family has divided three suites, and it is good to move out one set for your little uncle to get married, and you will go back to your mother's house to get a set in a hurry." ”
Xiao Nan naturally would not take care of such unreasonable demands, and the mother-in-law was a little annoyed to see that her request was not successfully met this time. He also said loudly at home that Xiaonan was an only child, and sooner or later it would all be his family!
Xiao Nan just listened angrily and did not respond a word.
A few days later, the mother-in-law found that Xiaonan had not yet returned home to ask for a house, and was ready to make a cruel move. She found a black bottle and poured some water into it, ready to put on a show while the whole family was there.
On a weekend evening, Xiaonan and a large family were eating quietly. The mother-in-law stood at the kitchen door and began to stir up trouble, constantly questioning whether Xiaonan could go home and ask for a house.
Seeing that Xiao Nan just didn't open her mouth, she took out a black bottle and said: "Daughter-in-law, don't give your little uncle a marriage room, I will be in the hospital for the New Year!" Anyway, I was old enough to drink pesticides and die without losing money! ”
The whole family was stunned, and Fang Zijie rushed to pull his mother. And Xiao Nan finally spoke, she sneered and said, "Good, double happiness is at the door." When the time comes for your old family to go to the hospital, the little divorce. What a good thing to be in pairs! ”
The mother-in-law was anxious to hear XiaoNan say this. Loudly scolded her for being uncultured, and even cursed her mother-in-law.
Xiao Nan could not speak in front of her mother-in-law's face, she picked up her bag and ran back to her mother's house.
Sure enough, the next day Xiaonan went to the court to sue for divorce, and such a greedy and shameless mother-in-law made her sick.
In the case, Xiao Nan did not see her mother-in-law's face clearly before marriage, and was blinded by rhetoric, and after marriage, she was even more scaly. This tells us that women need to maintain the following two points of sobriety before and after marriage.
02
One: Any tolerance without a bottom line will only be exchanged for unlimited exploitation.
Psychologist Wu Zhihong once said: Others do this to you because others can do this to you.
This pithy summary tells us that the reason you were bullied and exploited is self-inflicted.
Although many times we will always sympathize with those who are toyed with and deceived by others, but there must be something hateful about poor people, and their fate is caused by themselves.
In the case, Xiaonan and her parents should have come to the door to question her when the mother-in-law defaulted on the dowry of 100,000 yuan for the first time, and at the beginning of the new marriage, she was forced to fulfill her promise as soon as possible.
However, the Xiaonan family did nothing, which was equivalent to not being able to do anything.
How can such a way of handling not make the mother-in-law arrogant?
It was their cowardly silence that made the mother-in-law step by step aggravate it, and finally even the absurd thing of asking for a house was justified.
And kindness without sharp edge is not only useless, but also a series of disasters.
It is their bottomlessness and principles that make the mother-in-law dare to blatantly exploit Xiaonan.
One of the truths of human nature is that the more you please and accommodate others, the more they look down on you and the more they want to bully you.
Don't say that your weakness is kindness, and don't say that your cowardice is high quality.
Weakness in nature is not terrible, what is terrible is to find a fig leaf for yourself.
Of course, this is not to say that we should be sharp in the married family, argue endlessly on a small matter, and have to have the upper hand.
It's just that when it comes to the bottom line, we must stick to the principle and not let it back at all.
For example, the dowry problem in the case is the bottom line problem. A man who doesn't even speak on the matter of his son's marriage has absolutely no credibility to speak of.
Therefore, she later also lied and became sexual, and even used persecution to make Xiaonan agree to her request.
The other party's inch is actually indulgent.
So in any relationship, everyone should have a clear red line.
When anyone wants to touch this place, remember to give him some color to see.
03
Two: Before getting married, insist on not making any compromises.
Marriage is not only a happy ceremony, but sometimes a struggle for interests.
Therefore, in the process of negotiation between the two families, there are always many careful thoughts mixed in.
Its fundamental purpose is nothing more than the same, they all want to make less money at home, and try to let the other party pay more.
One of the two families has this kind of mind, and sooner or later the marriage will degenerate into a farce.
However, there are still many like Xiaonan's parents who make compromises and tolerate before marriage.
As everyone knows, this kind of behavior gives the other party the courage to make inches and gives the villain the opportunity to play crooked thoughts.
Women always have to be very cautious in their choice of marriage, because women are not more wrong than men.
And those feelings that require you to compromise before marriage must not be good, and the in-laws who need to sacrifice their own interests to satisfy must be a fire pit.
A good union between two families must be able to understand each other and communicate with each other's greatest sincerity.
This is a process of mutual assistance and mutual understanding, and does not require any party to compromise.
Especially for women, I recommend maintaining a high posture to face their marriage before marriage.
How many women quit their jobs after marriage and became yellow-faced women, but they still can't exchange the hardships of their in-laws' families.
How many women marry with a generous dowry, bringing benefits to the in-laws' families, and not in exchange for the respect they deserve.
When life is getting more and more unhappy, when grievances accumulate more and more, have you ever thought about what it is all about?
Whether it's because of your initial weakness, whether it's because you keep bowing your head.
Whether before or after marriage, women should live out their own lives and live wonderfully.
When you encounter a relationship that requires you to constantly compromise, don't hesitate to cut it off.
04
All kinds of trivialities in marriage make women inherently difficult.
Maybe it will also be involved in more complex relationship circles.
So, be more careful before you get married.
After all, some people have acted all their lives.
You have to learn to protect yourself.
Text/No Pen