After 5 years of marriage, the in-laws asked: Why didn't I have children, daughter-in-law: My first kiss is still there
The most classic sentence in "The Siege" is that marriage is a siege, people outside the city want to go in, people in the city want to come out.
Simply put, people who are not married want to get married, and married people want to divorce. To use Tolstoy's Anna Karenina:
"Happy families are all similar, and unhappy families have their own misfortunes."
There is a couple who have been married for five years and still "respect each other like guests" It is reasonable to say that such a family should be long-lasting, but the woman asks for a divorce, and the in-laws are responsible: Why did not have children? The daughter-in-law said bluntly: My first kiss is still there.
What's going on here?
01. Married for 5 years "respect each other as guests"
The woman with long hair and waist in front of her is called Xiao Xie, she wears a pair of black frame glasses, exquisite features, tall figure, and speaks softly and politely. It is such a gentle woman, she and her husband have been married for 5 years, and her husband has not held hands, and his husband has not hugged her, nor kissed her, nor has he applauded for love. Married for 5 years, not even the first kiss, think about it, Xiao Xie feels very wronged.
This is the so-called respect for each other, the couple treats each other like guests, for 5 years, men and women share a room, but always maintain a safe distance.
Xiao Xie and her husband Xiao Wang met five years ago through an introduction, the two sides met, and then both parents were very satisfied, so the two interacted for less than half a year, and the two entered the palace of marriage.
Before getting married, Xiao Xie also fantasized about a good life after marriage, with a husband who loved him, a cute child, and a beautiful family. But after marriage, it is completely different from the imaginary life, and even more and more troubles.
Xiao Xie's husband, Xiao Wang, likes to play games, the two of them go out to work together during the day, go home from work together at night, and when they get home, they should do something?
But Xiao Wang only cares about playing games, the two talk very little, say it is a stranger, the two are husband and wife relationship, say it is a husband and wife, the two are not as good as strangers, this life has lasted for more than 4 years.
It is estimated that Xiao Xie has long been accustomed to this kind of life, although all kinds of unsatisfactory, but life can barely be lived, get by and live, will live on it.
But the two have been married for so long and have not had children, which makes Xiao Xie's in-laws anxious, and the in-laws are looking forward to holding their grandchildren?
So the in-laws took Xiao Wang to the hospital for examination, and the examination results showed that Xiao Wang was in good health and had no problems with fertility. When the in-laws got such a result, they naturally pointed the finger at the daughter-in-law Xiao Xie, and in their opinion, their son's no problem, it must be the daughter-in-law who came up with the problem.
Under the in-laws' all kinds of questioning, Xiao Xie said the truth with a look of grievance: after being married for so many years, she has been helping her husband hide it, and she has not even held her hand, and the kisses at the beginning of these years are still there, let alone others.
This earth-shattering secret was known to Xiao Xie's mother, who was very angry, and she bluntly said that the Xiao Wang family cheated on marriage and cheated her daughter's youth and feelings for more than four years. In the face of the mother-in-law's accusations, Xiao Wang was silent, shrugged his head and sat there motionless.
The marriage has come to this point, is it necessary to continue?
02. Divorce may be the best solution
Husband Xiao Wang is silent, this is Xiao Wang's father to speak, he frankly said that his son did not like to communicate with people since he was a child, and did not know how to express his feelings, the husband and wife caused such a result, should not be just the son's problem, the daughter-in-law also has a certain reason.
When the mediation team asked Xiao Wang again: You don't like her (wife Xiao Xie)?
Husband Xiao Wang replied: I don't like her.
"You don't like her, why should you marry her?", the mediation team asked in surprise.
Xiao Wang stammered and said: My parents said she was good.
This is the reason why Xiao Wang and Xiao Xie got married, just because his parents said that Xiao Xie was good, he married Xiao Xie. Xiao Wang's answer made Xiao Xie, who still had some hope for this marriage, completely disappointed, and this time she was determined to divorce.
In this meaningless marriage, Xiao Xie only wants to get rid of it as soon as possible, deal with the distribution of property after divorce, bid farewell to the past as soon as possible, and start a new life.
For the divorced property, Xiao Xie asked for 300,000 yuan, but Xiao Wang's father-in-law said that he could only give 250,000 yuan. Later, after the two parties consulted the lawyer, the lawyer made it clear that although the house where Xiao Wang and Xiao Xie lived was said to be a down payment from the in-laws, it was also a property after marriage and should be half of one person. Xiao Xie thought that over the years, her in-laws were still quite good to herself, so as long as 300,000, finally the in-laws agreed, and Xiao Wang and Xiao Xie ended the marriage.
When negotiating the property after marriage, the original protagonist Xiao Wang did not say a word, and his parents helped him negotiate the whole time, as if this matter had nothing to do with him. It can be seen from here that Xiao Wang is a person who lacks opinion, everything must be arranged by his parents, his parents say 250,000 is 250,000, his parents say that Xiao Xie is good, he will marry her, Xiao Wang will marry her. Xiao Wang has been living in the arrangement of his parents, which is the main reason for the failure of this marriage, no opinion, and he does not even know what he wants. This may be a typical "giant baby" and "mother treasure man", married to such a man, doomed to not be happy.
This is 5 years of marriage, no holding hands, no hugs, no applause for love, even the first kiss is still there, what an incredible couple. I have to admire Xiao Xie's endurance, I wonder if the in-laws do not accuse themselves of why they are not pregnant, will this marriage still be over? Women's youth can not afford to be consumed, and it is really impossible to have children in the future, which is the greatest sadness.
Five years is not short, long is not long, this may be a woman's best youth. Because Xiao Wang has no opinion, blindly obeys his parents' arrangements, harms others and harms himself, it is really not worth it. Fortunately, the two have divorced, and since then they have parted ways and started their own new life, while wishing Xiao Xie to find true love as soon as possible and find a husband who loves himself and hurts himself.
Write at the end:
In this marriage, it is not difficult for us to see that one person has no opinion, and the other person blindly tolerates it, and eventually it will take so long, friends who like to tolerate, please establish your sense of boundaries, so that you can be a better self.
As Tu Yansong said:
"Why are people less and less taking you seriously because you're too good at talking. Whatever you want, you agree to anything, and you give something as soon as you want it. ”
There is a famous "broken window effect" in psychology. To put it simply, when a person violates your boundaries, you do not refuse in time, and your cowardice will evolve into connivance, which will make the other party unscrupulous and inching forward. In this marriage, Xiao Xie should refuse at the beginning, reject "Ma Bao Man", refuse to help Xiao Wang conceal, and bravely say his thoughts, and the ending will be completely different.
As Sanmao once said: "Living peacefully with others without principle is, in my opinion, cowardice." ”
Because you are so good at talking, this kind of unprincipled relationship is cowardice
So please establish your own sense of boundaries, whether it is parents, relatives, friends, colleagues, strangers, etc., you need to maintain a sense of boundaries with people, that is the weapon of self-protection, the boundaries of mutual happiness, and the strength to help you grow.
Anyone should establish their own sense of boundaries.
I am January Love August, watching other people's stories and tasting my own life. If the article helps you, I hope you will also help me. How far a person can go, the key lies in who to walk with, I use the whole way across the mountains and seas, I hope to get your "like" praise.