Looking at the current marriage, it seems that many people feel that they are not living happily, but if you want to say why they are not happy, many people can't say why.
In fact, the reason why many people can't feel happiness now is because many people don't marry at all for feelings, but have to get married at an old age.
Even if some premarital feelings are good, but after marriage, they are also neglectful of the management of feelings, so how can there be a sense of happiness in life when they treat marriage in this way.
Some people think that marriage will be happy, but happiness does not occur out of thin air, let alone with the arrival of marriage, happiness needs to be created by couples.
There has never been a natural couple in this world, and some are just two people who work hard for love, but no matter how good the couple's feelings are, don't do these three things, it is really very hurtful.
First, mutual humiliation and sarcasm
Since two people can get married, even if they don't like each other very much, they certainly don't hate each other too much, after all, no one will choose to marry someone they hate.
But ironically, many couples fall into an embarrassing situation of humiliating each other after a period of marriage.
Although many times it is in anger, saying something that should not be said, and perhaps regretting it at times, the harm brought to the other party cannot be withdrawn.
Ma Yili once said on the show that when he had the worst trouble with the article, he scolded me, and every time I think about it, I will get a chill.
What does the article scold? In fact, it is a "second-hand goods", Ma Yili said, at that time I did not want to quarrel, perhaps after the article was scolded, I also regretted it, but the emotional rift is difficult to repair.
Husband and wife have been together for a long time, they are very familiar with each other, they are very clear about each other's pain points and shortcomings, and they want to poke each other's pain points, which is really a poke.
There are also many women who always like to push everything to their husbands when their lives are not going well, believing that their husbands' incompetence has caused the current difficulties, scolding their husbands for being waste, how do you not die and so on.
Perhaps many women will think that this is just a simple sentence, but for many men, the word "waste" is really a very heavy blow, originally he was still motivated, but the wife scolded a lot, it was really flat.
First of all, it is not the husband's responsibility to live unsatisfactory, he also worked hard, but the ability is so great, and secondly, the husband and wife should understand each other, support each other, and respect each other.
Even when you are angry, you must maintain a little sanity, you can't say nothing, scold what you want, don't just try to be happy for a while.
Second, mutual suspicion and distrust
Some people always have a hard time trusting each other in their feelings, and they are suspicious all day long, and they are guarding against the same as thieves, in fact, they are selfish.
There are also some people who hunt for wind and shadows all day long, and when they see the object talking to a member of the opposite sex, they feel that their relationship is not simple, how inferior is it, can they think so?
This kind of mutual suspicion between husband and wife is actually very hurtful, not only is their own heart exhausted, but the other party will also be very bored.
It is likely that there is no such thing, but it is always suspected by the other party, and finally the fake becomes true, and many marriages are actually forced out by their other half.
No one likes to be suspected all day, this feeling of not being trusted, really hurt feelings, and there is suspicion between husband and wife, in fact, there is a rift in the feelings, and every suspicion will make the cracks widen a little.
After a long time, the feelings will naturally fade.
Third, the cold war or cold violence of the other side
Good relationships come from communication, after all, communication can solve problems, if everything is held in the heart, how can others know?
In real life, many couples do not like to quarrel after having a contradiction, or quarrel but do not quarrel to the key point, and do not say their true thoughts.
After being wronged, he did not say anything, and after venting a few words, he engaged in a cold war, ignored the other half, and posed a very cold posture, as if the other party was a stranger who had nothing to do with him.
Many people think that physical violence hurts feelings the most, but they don't know that this kind of cold violence that does not speak is the sharpest knife that cuts off the feelings that once existed.
It is normal for two people to have contradictions together, and if two people have no contradictions together, that is the biggest abnormality.
If there is a contradiction, say it, don't always hold it in your heart, don't choose the cold war, there is no husband and wife in the world who don't quarrel, in fact, quarrelling is not a kind of communication.