When we get along with others, we always tend to those who are generous and cheerful, rather than those who are stingy.
They are preoccupied, they must be more expensive, and it is not pleasant to get along with such people at all, many things are clearly marked, and they refuse to eat at all, but they are happy to take advantage of others.
Of course, stinginess doesn't just occur in social relationships, sometimes it also occurs in relationships between the sexes.
Tangerine Is Born Huainan is orange, and Tangerine Sheng Huaibei is Citrus, and when stinginess appears in marriage, it will become a proof of love.
For example, you can't see the other party talking to the opposite sex, such as deducting and searching when you spend money on yourself, and being particularly generous when you spend money on the other half.
These stinginess represent the position of the other party in their hearts, and it is also because they love someone that they will become stingy.
As a result, psychological research has shown that when couples become so "generous", in fact, fate has come to an end.
No longer bother to think about whether the other party and the opposite sex are unclear
To love someone, it should be like the TV series "Know it or not." Sheng Minglan and Gu Tingye in "Know It or Not" are like that.
Gu Tingye was jealous because Sheng Minglan and Qi Heng said a few words, and Sheng Minglan was yin and yang because Gu Tingye wanted to take a concubine, and his face was full of unhappiness.
This is what a happy marriage should look like, that is, stinginess, that is, it is calculated, that is, there is no sand in the eyes, that is, the heart and eyes are the size of a needle.
Although you know that the other party will not betray you, but when you see someone close to you getting close to others, you will be jealous and crazy, that is, you will be unhappy.
Zhang Xiaoxian once said: "When I met you, I became the most angry person and wanted to get your wholehearted love." If I have you, I will become the richest person, your love is the most precious, even if the whole world gives it to me, I will not change it. ”
If one day, we see that the other party and the opposite sex are not clear, but there is no wave in our hearts, then it means that the relationship has come to an end.
Why aren't we angry?
It's not because we don't love, because we don't love, so no matter what the other party does, it has nothing to do with us, and it won't let it affect our mood of joy and sorrow.
I will no longer care about whether the other party is hungry or not, it is difficult or uncomfortable
"The Five Abilities of Love" book once said: "Empathy, is the third ability of love, that is, can understand the other party's inner feelings, especially when the other party has bad feelings in the heart, empathy will make the lover feel understood and supported." ”
When we love someone, we have this capacity for empathy.
Some people say that if you love someone to the depths, there will be a kind of heartache in your heart.
For example, we will wonder if the other party has been bullied by others when they work, and whether the meal we ate at noon today is delicious;
For example, if the other party accidentally breaks the skin of the hand, we will be distressed, think how painful it is, the other party is so pitiful, and so on.
When we love each other wholeheartedly, we will feel empathy, we will put ourselves in the shoes of each other, we will put what the other person has experienced on ourselves, and we will feel with each other.
If you don't love, you will take back all your emotions.
No matter what the other party does, we are not wavering, even if the other party tells us that he or she has been wronged, we will be indifferent, and even a little impatient.
I think how the other party is so pretentious, isn't it a little hurt, as for such a big fuss, but also to trouble themselves.
In fact, things have not changed, people have not changed, what has changed is our hearts.
Because I don't love anymore, many things will become insignificant.
No more getting angry and indifferent to a small thing
I remember reading a story when I was a child, the little boy in the story was born without pain, other children accidentally cut the skin and cried bitterly, and this little boy was stoned and had no expression.
As a result, this little boy who was not afraid of pain was praised by people for being brave.
One day, several children suddenly developed acute appendicitis, and when other children were pressed by the doctor, they could feedback which pain and which pain did not hurt, and then the doctor quickly determined the treatment plan.
And the little boy did not feel the same way, no matter how the doctor pressed him, he did not respond, and finally missed the best treatment time.
The quarrel between husband and wife is actually like the pain in people's bodies, knowing where it hurts and where there is a problem, so that they can prescribe the right medicine and keep the body healthy.
If one day the husband and wife do not even quarrel with each other, it is a terrible thing, which means that they will not feel pain, and can only wait for the marriage to be terminally ill and there is no cure.
Yi Shu wrote in "The Only Woman": "Marriage is basically such a thing, and then love is sensational, and after three or five years, it will disappear." ”
In life, it is not the distant mountains that make people feel tired, but a sand in the shoes. In marriage, what makes it disillusioned is not the sudden changes, but the details of daily life.