Do you know the original work: Xiao Shen's son who likes Minglan as a son-in-law, why is it very angry?

In ancient times, people often married early, so they discussed relatives earlier; there were many girls who began to look at their in-laws in their early teens. However, in the original work of "Know It or Not", there is a small episode in which the mother plans the marriage for her daughter, which further breaks through the lower age limit of "discussing relatives":

Because, at that time, the girl, who had just been born a few months ago, was completely a milk doll;

The mother who did this was the Empress's sister Xiao Shenshi;

And those selected by Xiao Shen as "candidate relatives" are Minglan and Gu Tingye.

This story, at first glance, only feel funny, but after laughing, but also have another feeling:

There is no double-whole method in the family; how to weigh and choose in different interpersonal relationships, how to allocate resources and benefits to people with different weights in their minds, and do everything quietly is really the ability that every adult has to have.

01 Girlfriend private room words, it turns out that there is still a sound of strings

Things have to start from Xiao Shen's mother.

With the ascension of the new emperor to the throne, the empress's sister-in-law Xiao Shen jumped from a remote area to a relative of the emperor and married into the Zheng family of Shomen.

Life is not perfect. Xiao Shen was not pregnant for more than two years after marriage; it was difficult to conceive, but she suffered difficult childbirth; it was not easy for the mother and daughter to save their lives, but they were told that Xiao Shen was injured this time, and I am afraid that I will not be able to give birth again.

Suffering such a blow, Xiao Shen was discouraged and reluctant to go out to see people for several months after giving birth;

However, on this day, Xiao Shen took the initiative to go out, took his infant daughter with him, and went to the Gu family to visit Sheng Minglan, a good girlfriend who was pregnant with a second child.

In addition to the daily greetings of the sisters, the topic of Xiao Shen's main focus is on the following three aspects:

First, because Sheng Changdong, the youngest son of the Sheng family, had already been betrothed to the daughter of Uncle Shen, a distant relative of the Shen family, the Xiao Shen clan came to probe for Uncle Shen to see how much the dowry was prepared;

Second, he repeatedly expressed all kinds of concerns about his daughter. Since the Xiao Shen clan can no longer have children, then the daughter will not be able to have a brother in law in the future, and in the future, the Little Shen clan will no longer be able to rely on, and it is likely to be bullied.

Third, remind Minglan that Xiao Qin may have new actions in the near future, and it is necessary to make preparations early. The reason is that Gu Tingcan, the daughter of Xiao Qin, married into the Princess Mansion as a daughter-in-law, but because of her own pie problems, she provoked the princess to be unhappy, and finally decided to marry the second room for her son not long ago.

Xiao Shen and his sister-in-law Lady Zheng learned the news in advance because of their relatives; it was expected that Xiao Qin would force Minglan to fight against the Princess Palace, so he ran to tell minglan and let Minglan know what was going on.

After sending away Xiao Shen's family, Minglan sighed that "the Shen family's sister is really interesting"; the Cui mother next to her reminded Minglan with a smile: Mrs. Zheng Family (referring to Xiao Shen's family) treats you so well, I am afraid that there is a deep meaning.

Minglan, who was pregnant, did not understand what this "deep meaning" was for a while.

Cui mother explained: Mrs. Zheng has always said that she is worried about her daughter being bullied in the future, in fact, this problem is not inevitable, the best solution is to find a thick mother-in-law who knows the roots for her daughter;

And like the Gu family's current wealth and power, like Minglan's pattern and heart, isn't it just a rare good family and a good mother-in-law?

Minglan suddenly realized, and immediately guessed that Xiao Shenshi had taken a fancy to her eldest son Tuan Ge'er, who was more than one year old.

Mother Cui has a different view: the eldest son's wife has a heavy responsibility, and Mrs. Zheng may not want her daughter to bear this child's work. She just repeatedly asked you about the pregnancy and delivery date of this fetus, and maybe she is looking at this one in the belly. After all, a young daughter-in-law is better than an eldest daughter-in-law.

In other words, Minglan's second child has not yet been born, and the male and female are unknown, and he has been circled by Xiao Shen in the ranks of son-in-law candidates.

While Minglan was crying and laughing, he suddenly remembered a detail:

When chatting just now, Xiao Shenshi once said that she had now reconciled with her new sister-in-law Zhang Da niangzi, and said that she deeply understood Zhang's distress and difficulty;

At that time, Minglan did not think too much, and now after being reminded by Cui's mother, she suddenly remembered that the son Wangge'er born to Zhang was only half a year old with Xiao Shen's daughter, and Zhang Shi was also a good person with integrity,—— in other words, maybe Xiao Shen also regarded Zhang's son as one of the alternative sons-in-law, so his attitude towards Zhang was very different!

02 Xiao Shen became a mother, as if he grew up overnight

This conversation between Cui's mother and Minglan makes people can't help but be funny, and it is very surprising: Xiao Shen actually learned to take a long-term view, think about things for her daughter for more than ten years early, and begin to consolidate interpersonal relationships for her daughter - is this style of doing things, or the previous Xiao Shen?!

You know, the former Little Shen Clan, who has just entered Beijing and is labeled as the "Empress's sister", has the identity of a "foreign relative", and his style of acting can almost be described as "the sky is not afraid, the ground is not afraid", "the head does not care about the tail".

For example, when she first married into the Zheng family, because the eldest sister-in-law of the family, Mrs. Zheng Da, was serious and extremely well-behaved, she did not allow the Xiao Shen clan to travel at any time by nature, and as a result, the Xiao Shen clan immediately ran to the empress and sued Mrs. Zheng Da, full of arrogant and delicate appearances of "those who follow me and those who oppose me die";

As for what will happen after the complaint, will it affect her life in the Zheng family in the future? Did it affect her marital relationship with General Xiao Zheng? Even, she didn't even think about what kind of talk would be brought to the Shen family.

For another example, the elder brother Shen Congxing's wife Zhang Da Niangzi has no grievances with Xiao Shen, but Xiao Shen especially likes to say bad things about Zhang, and does not like how to look at Zhang;

The reason for this may be only because Xiao Shen's husband, General Zheng Xiao, was originally related to The Zhang Clan, but after the new emperor ascended the throne, in order to contact the important ministers through marriage, the Xiao Shen Clan replaced the Position of the Zhang Clan.

In terms of discussion, it was still Xiao Shen who "robbed" the marriage that originally belonged to The Zhang clan; the Zhang clan did not say anything, but the Xiao Shen clan himself was weak-minded, so he opened the "active defense mode", and always helped Shen Congxing's concubine Xiao Zou to speak, adding to the Zhang clan.

As for what impact the discord between the brother and the new sister-in-law would bring to the Shen family, what disaster the Xiao Zou clan would bring to the Shen family by "pampering and arrogant, and destroying his wife with concubines", Xiao Shen did not think at all.

She is like a child who has not grown up, doing things only according to mood, making friends only by preference; she has almost no thoughts about weighing the pros and cons, and she has never thought deeply about the investment of personal connections; it is painful and happy to be happy today, and as for how to "future" is, it seems that it is not in her consideration.

This time, after giving birth to a daughter and suffering from sin, the new mother Xiao Shen seemed to grow up overnight; her daughter was still swaddling, but she was already worried about the big thing of "choosing a son-in-law". This far-sightedness is really "far"enough"!

03 Mature social principles can accommodate both people and faces

Many readers are indignant at Xiao Shen's careful thinking, believing that Xiao Shen is not "worthy" to marry Minglan at all, and even think that Xiao Shen's idea of beating Minglan's son early on is a very "selfish" behavior.

In a way, perhaps Xiao Shen's daughter is indeed "unworthy", after all, even Minglan herself is subconsciously worried that this girl is not capable enough: in contrast, "if it is the daughter of Lady Zheng", Minglan must "immediately nod".

However, if you say that Xiao Shen is "delusional" and "selfish" because of this, and then despise Xiao Shen's personality, it is not necessary;

Because, people are inherently seeking advantage and avoiding harm, with the power of the Gu family at that time and the personality of Minglan, Xiao Shen's desire to get the moon first near the water tower is also forgivable.

What's more, "adjust the value ranking at any time according to the relationship between relatives and distant and close", which is originally true human nature;

To put it bluntly, with the exception of a few of the most holy sages, most ordinary people have a selfish side; when the interests of all cannot be guaranteed, people often subconsciously give priority to the interests of "their own people".

Just like Xiao Shen and Minglan, usually naturally considered a good girlfriend, Xiao Shen will help Minglan to guard against the evil mother-in-law Xiao Qin, and Minglan will help Xiao Shen to untie the depression in his heart;

And once it comes to the marriage of his own children, Xiao Shen will quietly remember the little guy in Minglan's belly, and Minglan will also soberly weigh the value of Xiao Shen's daughter.

Of course, this is all selfishness, but it is not unforgivable and unforgivable; after all, there is no double law in the world, and in the face of "flesh and blood affection", "girlfriend affection" can only be taken back. This is the real choice of most ordinary people.

Saying this is not to advocate or beautify "selfishness", but when we get along with people in real life, especially with relatives and friends, we must learn to appropriately reduce the idealized assumptions and reduce expectations for each relationship;

When the other party really makes some so-called "selfish" behaviors, if you feel that you can understand, then you can laugh it and have a good idea; if you feel that you can't understand, then you can separate two wide and reduce the interaction; don't be too angry, disappointed, grumpy, and even doubt life.

After all, we can't take the top place in each other's "value ranking" in every relationship, just as it is difficult for us to sacrifice ourselves all the time.

04 Conclusion

When you are young, you will feel that "because we are good friends, we should always be sincere and sincere"; and as we grow older, we will find that in addition to the relationship of "good friends", adults need to play more roles, deal with more social relationships, and constantly sort and choose;

At this time, if you still demand absolute sincerity, it is tantamount to seeking trouble for yourself, and there will only be fewer and fewer people on the same road.

For this, the clever and transparent Minglan also has a number in mind;

Therefore, she did not deliberately distance herself from Xiao Shen's "delusional thoughts", but as if nothing had happened, she would continue to communicate as she should in the future; of course, if she really faced the problem of talking about marriage in the future, she would continue to refuse as she pleased.

See through, carry clearly; both to accommodate people, but also to pull down the face, one yard to one yard,—— this is the self-cultivation that adults should have.