Recently, when XiaoQi was reading the original novel of "Knowing or Not", he read a sentence by Sheng Minglan, and the more he read it, the more he liked it, and the more he felt that it made sense.
"If we all complain with virtue, why should we repay morality?" Repaying straight with directness and repaying virtue with virtue knows that there will be good and evil in the world. ”
Gu Tingye and his stepmother Xiao Qin clan did not have a good relationship, making a lot of noise, because Xiao Qin clan was quite good at being a person, and had a particularly good reputation outside, and Gu Tingye was already infamous before marrying Sheng Minglan, with a poor reputation, so in this dispute between his stepmother and stepdaughter, public opinion initially fell to Xiao Qin's side, believing that Gu Tingye had drifted after inheriting the marquis of Ningyuan, not filial piety to his stepmother, and even Sheng Minglan had also suffered a lot of white eyes.
Lady Zheng was virtuous in character, upright, filial piety, and unaccustomed to Gu Tingye and Sheng Minglan.
Sheng Minglan asked Lady Zheng for the sake of Rong's sister's schooling, and for the doubts of Lady Zheng, Sheng Minglan was not afraid and told Lady Zheng that they were sorry for Gu Tingye first, and they should be punished. As for repaying grievances with virtue, then, how can we repay virtue?
Yes, with virtue to repay grievances, why repay morality? Besides, even if you complain with virtue and forgive others for hurting you, can you get a good result? Will he be able to thank you and stop doing bad things? not necessarily.
In the eyes of some people, they have never thought about these five words for the sake of others, only their own interests. Even if you let him go and no longer ask him to pay for his mistakes, he will not appreciate you, but feel that you are a bully, think that you are afraid of him, when he stares at you again and wants to get benefits from you, he will not hesitate, but will have a kind of "anyway, you will not do anything to me, will let me go again" The idea, more inching forward.
Just like the Xiao Qin clan, even if Gu Tingye complained with virtue, forgave the Xiao Qin clan for calculating his own behavior, and sincerely treated the Xiao Qin clan well, would the Xiao Qin clan give up and not stare at the Marquis of Ningyuan? impossible.
As Dong Qing once said: "Some things are not worthy of forgiveness, and have nothing to do with generosity." ”
In some things, instead of asking others to complain with virtue, let you go, and not to worry about you, it is better to understand why you must know the reason why today is the first. You should ask yourself, why did you do something to hurt others in the first place? Why base one's happiness on the suffering of others? If you don't do bad things and don't hurt others, you will not be afraid of the shadow, just like the saying goes, don't do bad things, and don't be afraid of ghosts knocking on the door.
"You say, is my wife too careful?" My mother slapped my daughter, my wife remembered for 18 years, has not been able to put down, can not be with my mother under the same roof. My mother was crying at home, muttering that she wanted to go to the door for the elderly, and my wife told me that if she wanted my mother to come, she would sign a divorce. ”
Mr. Lin drank wine and poured sorrow while confiding in everyone about his experience.
1.
Obviously, the trouble that Mr. Lin is experiencing is the mother-in-law contradiction that makes most married men feel distressed.
Old mother and daughter-in-law, one is to give birth to their own mother, to fulfill filial piety, one is to have children for themselves, and their suffering and common white head with the old lover, to fulfill the responsibility of men, once these two women have a conflict, men will often be anxious, inside and outside is not a person.
Why did Mr. Lin's mother and his wife reach a point where there was no room for two tigers? In fact, Mr. Lin himself admitted that his mother had gone too far.
"My wife doesn't understand, I don't understand, my mother is also a woman, why would she prefer sons to daughters to this point, and not treat my daughter as a human being?" For the sake of holding my grandson, trouble with my wife, and let me get a divorce? ”
"You don't have a son, won't the incense of our old Zhou family be broken?" After I die, what face will I have to see the patriarchs? ”
For his mother's statement, Mr. Lin did not care, he saw it very openly: "Our family does not have the throne to inherit, the family property is very small, there are two buildings in a small mountain village, does anyone want it?" My monthly income with my wife is six or seven thousand, I have been working outside for twenty years, and I have not even bought a house, so if I have a son, I will have a headache and die. Besides, who can guarantee that the incense will always be there? If my son didn't have a son, wouldn't it be the same? ”
"You don't have a son, who cares about your pension in the future?" Raising children and preventing old age, do you understand? ”
This reason Mr. Lin also does not approve, in his view, the "child" of raising children and preventing the elderly refers to children, including daughters, as long as they are well educated, daughters will also undertake the obligation of providing for their parents.
"It is not necessary to have a son, if there is a loser, what about raising children to prevent old age?" It's okay if you don't get angry. For example, my colleague, who has a son, went to college but borrowed money online, owed more than 200,000 yuan, forcing my colleague to go bankrupt, you say, can such a son expect him to give you a pension? My daughter is now working and gives me money every month, buys me things, filial piety, no? ”
Although Mr. Lin wants to open, does not value sons and daughters, and loves his daughter very much, Mr. Lin's mother just can't think of it.
2
Mr. Lin's daughter is 26 years old this year, since she was born, Mr. Lin's mother has always looked at her granddaughter unfavorably, thinking that it is because of her granddaughter that her family has cut off the incense and has a bunch of bad things.
When her daughter was young, Mr. Lin's mother asked her daughter-in-law for trouble, and Mr. Lin's wife could bear it. However, as the children grew up, Mr. Lin's mother was embarrassed with the children, his wife protected the calves, and the contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law became more and more intense.
When his daughter was 6 years old, Mr. Lin couldn't bear it, quarreled with his parents, left his hometown with his wife and daughter, and went out to work, in exchange for a period of stable life.
However, when her daughter was eight years old, her mother's slap completely made Mr. Lin's wife hate her mother-in-law.
"At that time, it was the New Year, and our family of 3 returned to their hometown. That year, I made some money, so I bought more meat and planned to have a good new year as a family. However, on the night of Chinese New Year's Eve, my mother actually slapped my daughter for a piece of meat, slapped my daughter to the ground, and cursed and grinned in her mouth. ”
"Money-losing goods", "bones", "wild seeds", "hens that don't lay eggs", etc., all of which floated out of Mr. Lin's mother's mouth, and Mr. Lin's wife wrestled with her mother-in-law until Mr. Lin dropped something, picked up his daughter and pulled his wife away all night.
In the next 18 years, Mr. Lin's wife never returned to Mr. Lin's hometown, and refused to see her mother-in-law again, not to let her daughter go back, and when the New Year came, Mr. Lin returned to her hometown, and his wife took her daughter back to her grandmother's house.
3.
Today, Mr. Lin's mother is 75 years old, some time ago a serious illness, the body collapsed, the memory has also declined a lot, Mr. Lin's father is not much better. So, they thought of raising children and preventing the elderly, called Mr. Lin and asked Mr. Lin to take care of them.
At the beginning, they asked Mr. Lin's wife to resign immediately and come back to serve them: "Serving the in-laws is originally the obligation of the daughter-in-law, do you understand filial piety?" ”
This request Mr. Lin asked without asking his wife, directly refused, Mr. Lin's parents saw that the daughter-in-law refused to come back, they asked their son for their address, wanted to go to the door for the elderly.
Mr. Lin did not tell his parents directly, but asked his wife's opinion, which was directly rejected by her wife.
Although Mr. Lin understands his wife's grievances and resentment, he is also uncomfortable in his heart, after all, it is his biological parents.
"Now, what the hell am I going to do? I don't want to lose my wife, I don't want to disappoint my daughter, but after all, it's my parents, and I can't leave them alone! ”
4
Hu Shi said: "If we want to reap the good fruits of the future, we must strive to plant new causes for the present. One grain after another will be harvested in a full house. ”
Planting good causes, such as being a mother-in-law treating the daughter-in-law kindly, and being a parent will educate her children, and you can get good results, such as the daughter-in-law will honor the mother-in-law with her heart, so that the mother-in-law will be supported in the old age, and the children will honor the parents and protect the parents' old age.
If you want to harvest, you must pay something, which is causal.
Conversely, if you sow a bad cause and cause it to be evil, you must swallow it yourself. If you have done something bad, you don't want to be punished, and you still want people who have been hurt by you to continue to give you benefits.
The words of advice to parents, to be kind to the spouse of your children, are also to be kind to yourself and your children, otherwise, your children are not human beings inside and outside, and your old age will not be happy anywhere. Why bother with yourself and your loved ones for your own selfishness?
END.
XiaoQi asked you to comment: Do you have any good suggestions for Mr. Lin? Feel free to share your views in the comments section.