In the original work of "Knowing or Not", Sheng Xuan's favorite daughter is not Sheng Molan, but the eldest daughter Sheng Hualan.
Sheng Hualan was born in the best time of his parents' feelings, is the pearl in the palm of his parents, Sheng Xuan loves this daughter very much, because he is reluctant to his young daughter, he also held his daughter to work, which shows his love for his daughter.
Sheng Hualan has been well-behaved and sensible since childhood, and he is very intimate when his parents are in the most difficult time, helping his parents to govern, which makes Sheng Xuan feel very pleased and determined to choose a good son-in-law for his daughter and let her daughter live happily for a lifetime.
"At that time, I thought, no one can be wronged by Hua'er, I don't point to using Hua'er to climb the dragon and attach the phoenix, I only hope that she can marry a man with responsibility, husband and wife harmony, Qinse and Ming, and have children in the future, and have a smooth life."
Therefore, when Sheng Hualan and Zhen were in place, Sheng Xuan began to choose a husband for Sheng Hualan, rejected many candidates, and picked Yuan Wenshao.
The reason why Sheng Shao picked Yuan Wenshao was because of two points. First, Yuan Wenshao is also the second son of the Zhongqin Earl's Palace, has a family lineage, and then has the Support of the Earl's Palace; second, Yuan Wenshao knows how to be self-motivated, and he has an errand at a young age, and is a responsible man.
"No matter how bad the Yuan family is, after all, there will be a knighthood to protect, if the career is not smooth, at least one Bofu can be attached, if Yuan Wenshao is angry, there will be glory and wealth waiting for Hua'er in the future."
In the end, Sheng Shao persuaded Wang to give Sheng Hua Lan Xu to Yuan Wenshao. However, what Sheng Xuan did not expect was that Yuan Wenshao was indeed self-motivated and had a decent personality, but he had a superb old mother!
After Sheng Hualan married into the Zhongqin Earl's Palace, he was bullied and miserable by the evil mother-in-law, and in that era when the monarch had to die and the father had to die, the children had to obey their parents and not disobey, and Yuan Wenshao was indeed unclear, foolish and filial piety, so that Sheng Hualan suffered enough.
How did the evil mother-in-law bully Sheng Hualan? In the original work, Sheng Rulan helped Sheng Hualan to come out, and a few words told Lady Yuan's crime.
"Don't wait, I'll ask you!" Have you stuffed a bunch of concubines into my sister's room again? This is Madame Yuan's masterpiece during Hua Lan's first miscarriage.
"That's why you forced my sister to stand up for you with a big belly!" Rulan's fingers almost pointed to the tip of Mrs. Yuan's nose—this was The idea of Lady Yuan when Hualan Huaizhuang was a child.
"Or are you going to force my sister to be pregnant and take care of your house?" Lady Yuan was not ShengXuan, and Rulan was not afraid at all--this trick was a new trick that Hua Lan only came up with when he was a brother.
She also stared at Sheng Hualan's dowry and tried her best to hollow out Sheng Hualan's dowry to subsidize her mother's family. What is even more heinous is that she took advantage of Sheng Hualan's pregnancy to take away Sheng Hualan's son Shi Ge'er, but she did not take good care of it, causing Shi Ge'er to be injured, and she also beat a rake, saying that Sheng Hualan's daughter Zhuang Jie'er did it.
Such an evil mother-in-law on the stall is a headache for a woman. What's more, in that era, if a woman wanted to end her marriage, there were only two ways, one way was for the in-laws to show compassion, agree and leave, the little two were good to get together and disperse, and the other way was to be charged with seven out of seven and be divorced.
Once a woman is suspended, not only will her reputation be discredited and she will not have the face to go out to see people, but it will also affect the mother's family, the career of the men in the family will be affected, and the marriage of the sisters will be affected, so Sheng Hualan will be aggrieved and difficult to endure.
There is an evil mother-in-law in the family, the man can't figure it out, and he can't divorce, so the marriage Sheng Hualan, who can't see hope, finally turned against the wind, not only kept the clouds open to see the moon, and the relationship with Yuan Wenshao is getting better and better, but also has the upper hand in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, how did she break the situation?
First, the mother's family has become increasingly powerful, and it has become the confidence of Sheng Hualan to gain a firm foothold in her in-laws' family;
At the beginning, Sheng Xuan was only a small official of Zhengliupin, far away in Dengzhou, Sheng Hualan married to the capital, and also married into the Zhongqin Earl's Palace, the mother's family was not only far away, the status was far inferior to the in-laws, and could not help Sheng Hualan at all, so Sheng Hualan could only endure.
As Sheng Shao's officials became bigger and bigger and rose to the capital, Sheng Hualan had the backing, and her grandmother could advise her.
Then, Sheng Hualan's younger brothers and sisters became more and more prominent, had a career, and married Gaomen, especially Sheng Minglan married into the Marquis of Ningyuan and became the Marquis of Ningyuan, and the Sheng family naturally followed the rising tide, and others naturally did not dare to underestimate Sheng Hualan, including Sheng Hualan's mother-in-law.
That time Sheng Hualan gave birth to three children, Lady Yuan was questioned by Sheng Rulan, felt that she could not get off the stage, and taunted Sheng Hualan, as a result, she was questioned by Sheng Minglan, who was already married to Gu Tingye, and did not dare to bully Sheng Hualan again.
Although the Sheng family's current momentum was inferior, it was more than the Yuan family; Lady Yuan knew in her heart that if Hua Lan's front foot was suspended, her back foot would also be driven out; she turned her head angrily and did not speak.
The writer Yi Shu once said: "No matter how far you marry, the girls please keep a return ticket for themselves." ”
A woman has a powerful mother's family, which is indeed conducive to gaining a firm foothold in the in-laws' family. However, women should pay attention to whether you have a powerful mother's family, which is directly related to your attitude towards your mother's family.
If you are conscientious and conscientious, filial to your parents, fulfill your obligation to honor your parents, be a good daughter, have great respect for your brothers and their spouses, will handle the relationship between sisters and sisters, and have a harmonious relationship with your mother-in-law, you will encounter things, and your mother's family will naturally not sit idly by and let you be bullied. However, if you do not honor your parents, or have nothing to do to add to the blockage of your sister-in-law (sister-in-law), and the relationship with your mother's family is not good, it is difficult for your mother's family to stand up for you.
Sheng Hualan swallowed his anger for the sake of his younger siblings and for the reputation of his mother's family, worthy of the Sheng family, and the Sheng family naturally would not watch Sheng Hualan being bullied.
Second, Sheng Hualan learned to grasp the main contradiction, worked hard to adjust men, and finally let the husband and wife stand on the same front;
If a woman wants to gain a firm foothold in her in-laws' family, it is not enough to rely on her mother's family, after all, you are already a married person, you are an adult, you have to be responsible for your own behavior, your mother's family cannot protect you for a lifetime, and you must also have the ability to manage a good marriage.
In modern times, if a woman wants to run a good marriage, it is very important to have strong economic ability, but in that era when women could not engage in production, women had to rely on two points if they wanted to gain a foothold in the in-laws' family, one was to have a son leaning over, and the other was a man's heart.
Shi Yue said: "As long as you marry the right person, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will not be a problem." ”
Although Yuan Wenshao could not blatantly contradict his mother and move out for shenghualan, if he had shenghualan in his heart, he would be willing to help shenghualan say a few words, and he would be willing to stand on the same front as shenghualan, and Shenghualan's life would be much better.
Yuan Wenshao was not good at saying anything, he could only speak softly to comfort, Hua Lan suddenly stood up straight from her husband's arms, looked resolute, and said loudly: "Shao Lang, if there is only me, following you is eating chaff and swallowing vegetables, and never shouting half a sentence of bitterness!" But... But..." she cried, "I only have a few poor children!" They... They're still young! ”
Yuan Wenshao looked at his wife crying to death, and his heart was like a knife, Hua Lan cried and complained: "In the future, this title will be the eldest brother, looking at the mother's posture, we are afraid that we will not be able to share anything in the family property; what can those children do?" Last time my mother came to be suspicious, I coaxed her to say that pregnant women wear old clothes comfortably, but the clothes on Sister Zhuang's body can't deceive people, and my mother sent two big red brocades back! The grandmother sent something to the granddaughter, and said that if there were some people on the side, wouldn't it be a slap in the face of the Yuan family? ”
Sheng Hualan knew how to show weakness in front of Yuan Wenshao and supported any decision of Yuan Wenshao, and she let Yuan Wenshao gradually understand that her mother really did not love herself and was very eccentric, and the person who really loved herself was her wife, and the person who deserved her own hard treatment was her wife and children.
In the end, Yuan Wenshao's balance tilted to Sheng Hualan, no longer blindly honoring his mother, and working hard to work hard, earning more dowries for Sheng Hualan, with men who loved themselves, worked hard towards themselves, and worked hard, Sheng Hualan was able to bloom in middle age.
Women, dealing with the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, must learn to grasp the main contradiction, that is, the relationship between husband and wife.
The reason why you become a mother-in-law with another woman is because you are in love with her son, as long as you can adjust her son, husband and wife, and then, let her son talk to her, you will not be so passive.
Quarreling with the mother-in-law, the effect is often not obvious, after all, she is an elder, it is easy to use the moral kidnapping this trick, you communicate, it is easy not to speculate more than half a sentence.
The key to whose parents are able to get it done is that the couple must work together.
Third, the enemy of the enemy is his own friend, and taking Sheng Minglan's bad idea, Sheng Hualan can finally fight against the evil mother-in-law.
Out of the fact that Brother Shi was injured, Sheng Hualan hated the evil mother-in-law to the bone, but she would not be able to take her mother-in-law for a while and a half, neither could she move out, nor could she ignore her, nor could she tear her face.
Therefore, Sheng Minglan gave Sheng Hualan a bad idea, asking Sheng Hualan to go to Uncle Yuan's sister Lady Shoushan and find a young, understanding, and intelligent concubine for Uncle Yuan.
This is good, Lady Yuan's position is unstable, so she had to shift the target from her daughter-in-law to the struggle between wives and concubines, and Aunt Zhang and Sheng Hualan are both smart people, although they do not have frequent contact, but the goals are the same, they know how to cooperate with each other, so that Lady Yuan suffers enough and has no energy to find trouble for Sheng Hualan.
Women, remember, to run a marriage, you need to use your brain, you need to grasp the main contradiction, not blindly noisy, that will not solve the problem.
END.
Today's topic: What is your opinion on Sheng Hualan's marriage? Feel free to share your views in the comments section.