In "Knowing or Not", Sheng Shao has a classic line, that is, "Only the most unproductive man under the sky will beat the idea of a woman's dowry." ”
For example, Uncle Kang was indeed the most unproductive man, on the one hand, lustful and immoral, took in a lot of concubines, gave birth to a room full of sons and daughters, on the other hand, did not achieve anything, did not make progress in his official career, and would not make money, so he forced his wife Aunt Kang to subsidize him with his dowry, for him to eat, drink and enjoy, and to raise his sons and daughters, otherwise he would scold Aunt Kang for not being virtuous.
Aunt Kang is indeed very bad, but Uncle Kang is not a good thing, and the misfortune of marriage has made Aunt Kang become mad and hurt innocents everywhere.
After Sheng Xuan's daughter Sheng Hualan got married, she met the best evil mother-in-law. Lady Yuan was eccentric and calculated Sheng Hualan's dowry many times for the sake of her eldest son and eldest daughter-in-law, so that Sheng Hualan suffered a lot. Fortunately, as the Sheng family's family lineage became more and more prominent, and moved to the capital, Sheng Hualan became more and more prominent in the in-laws' family, plus Sheng Hualan had great means, relying on his own efforts to seize the heart of her husband Yuan Wenshao, and her life was getting better and better.
Compared with her sister Aunt Kang and daughter Sheng Hualan, the Wang clan who married Sheng Xuan was much luckier. Whether it was Sheng Xuan or Old Lady Sheng, from the beginning to the end, he never had the idea of playing the dowry of the Wang family. Wang's dowry has always been in her own hands, and she is responsible for her own control.
The reason why Sheng Shao said that sentence was also because Lin Qishuang had the idea of Wang's dowry, wanting Sheng Molan to marry high, and there was ten miles of red makeup as a base. She couldn't afford it herself, so she wanted to blow the wind in Sheng Shao's ear, but fortunately, Sheng Shao wouldn't be confused to that point, and scolded Lin Shaoshuang.
However, in the original work, there is such a detail, that is, after the marriage between Sheng Rulan and Wen Yanjing was finalized, the Wang family used his dowry to buy a house for her daughter Sheng Rulan, and after mrs. Sheng knew about it, she scolded the Wang family.
Why would Wang take a dowry to buy a house for his daughter Sheng Rulan, why would he be angrily scolded by Mrs. Sheng? Wang's flower is his own dowry, Sheng Rulan is Wang's own flesh and blood, the mother takes her own private money to marry her daughter, it is a perfectly normal thing, how can it make the old lady Sheng, who has always been good-tempered and loves her children and grandchildren, angry?
The reason why Mrs. Sheng was angry was not because of money, not because she had an opinion on Sheng Rulan, but because Wang Clan had done bad things with kindness and wanted to help her daughter, but instead she had misered her daughter.
01. Sheng Rulan is a low marriage, itself may be looked down upon by the in-laws, the more you give, the easier it is for them to get cheap and sell well;
Wen Yanjing was born in a poor family, his father died early, and his widowed mother pulled his two sons to grow up, and his family lineage was much worse than the Sheng family.
Originally, Sheng Xuan took a fancy to Wen Yanjing and felt that he was self-motivated, talented, and promising, and planned to give him his daughter Sheng Molan. Although Sheng Molan is his favorite daughter, she is a concubine, if she marries high or flat, she may be looked down upon by her in-laws, and he cannot always protect Sheng Molan, so he chose Wen Yanjing, who has a promising future although his family is not good.
However, what Sheng Xuan did not expect in his dreams was that the concubine Sheng Molan did not look at Wen Yanjing, and the concubine Sheng Rulan was moved instead, and she took a fancy to Wen Yanjing and had private contacts with him.
Then, Gu Tingye took a fancy to Sheng Minglan, and in order to marry Sheng Minglan, he carefully designed it so that the matter between Sheng Rulan and Wen Yanjing was discovered by the Sheng family.
In desperation, Sheng Xuan had no choice but to promise to ration Sheng Ru Lan Xu to Wen Yanjing and Sheng Ming Lan Xu to Gu Tingye.
In Sheng Rulan's view, there are many benefits to low marriage.
Ru Lan understood the meaning of these words, took the paw and scratched the corners of her eyes, looked up and hummed proudly, and said, "The eldest sister is married, and I haven't seen her live so comfortably!" My wife will put a thick dowry on me, I have the support of my mother's family, and see which of the Wen family dares to come and talk to me! ”
But in fact, there are many disadvantages of low marriage. In the eyes of some men and men's parents, the reason why women are willing to marry their sons is not because of deep affection, but because their sons are capable and attractive, because the girl is cheap. What's more, there will be a feeling of "if you don't marry my son, no one will want it."
Once they have such an idea, they will look down on the low-married girl in their hearts, and even get cheap and sell well, and want to use this marriage to fight the girl's love for their son and gain greater benefits.
For example, Wen Yanjing's mother, Mrs. Wen, had such an idea.
When she was hired, Mrs. Wen only gave a small dowry according to the number of gifts. What made wang clan unacceptable was that Mrs. Wen actually shirked that she had no money and let Sheng Rulan and Wen Yanjing rent a house.
"What the mother said is that I heard that the wife of the family has always been partial to the younger son, and gave most of the silver to the small, and on the day of the ceremony, the daughter-in-law had tried to speak, and she actually pushed away the lack of silver money, and wanted to tell Ru'er and her aunt to get married and live in a house by herself!" Therefore, the daughter-in-law..."
Can Mrs. Wen really not be able to buy a house for her son and daughter-in-law? It should not be at this point. In fact, she was forced to have sheng rulan and Wen Yanjing's marriage already decided, and the Sheng family could not regret it at will, and Sheng Rulan's daughter-in-law was already difficult to fly, so she was unscrupulous.
At this time, the more you give, the more they earn, the more they think your daughter is cheap.
02. The consequence of buying a big house is that the daughter and the mother-in-law are crammed under the same roof and bullied.
The mother wants her daughter to rent a house after marriage, which makes the Wang family, who loves her daughter, accept it? Therefore, Wang Shi didn't want to think about it, and directly took the money to buy a house for his daughter, but he did something bad with good intentions.
If it is in modern times, it is fine, the house is bought by the mother-in-law, it is their own pre-marital property, the woman has enough reasons to refuse the in-laws to move in, and the in-laws are no longer satisfied, and they cannot forcibly live in. However, in that era, filial piety came first, and parents had absolute authority over their sons and daughters-in-law. A filial piety hat was buttoned down, and no one could stop Mrs. Wen from dragging her family and moving into Sheng Rulan's big house.
"Although you buy a house for your uncle, it is not too wrong, and it is common for the official eunuch family to fund the poor and self-motivated uncle to study, but you are wrong in not buying a big house with two entrances and three openings in one breath, and they are used by the two small families?" ...... The eldest son has a big mansion in the city, how can he not be a mother-in-law to enjoy the blessings? You wait, turn around and your wife will drag her family and move from the countryside on the outskirts of Beijing, and then Ru'er will be looking for herself to eat! ”
Once Mrs. Wen moved in, Sheng Rulan lived under the same roof as her mother-in-law, and she had to serve her mother-in-law every day, stand in rules, bring tea and pour water, listen to her mother-in-law's reprimand, and not have the slightest resistance.
That is to say, the Wang family bought a house for their daughter out of the purpose of hurting her daughter, but in fact, it pit her beloved daughter Sheng Rulan, causing Sheng Rulan to face her mean mother-in-law every day and be bullied by her mother-in-law.
After being woken up by Mrs. Sheng, Wang Shi felt that he could not regret it, but it was already too late.
Fortunately, the Sheng family is developing better and better, giving Sheng Rulan great confidence, Wen Yanjing's career is inseparable from the Promotion of the Sheng family, naturally do not dare to treat Sheng Rulan badly, Sheng Rulan is not too bad in the end.
03. Choose a mate, whether it is high or low marriage, do not ignore three points.
First of all, don't ignore the character of men. Marrying someone doesn't look at character, you're really jumping into the fire pit. Just like Sheng Shulan, she married Sun Zhigao, but she was almost tossed to death by their mother and son. In fact, when encountering Sun Zhigao's kind of high-quality scumbag, lustful and virtuous, not seeking progress, and eating soft rice and hard food, no woman can live a good life.
Second, don't ignore a man's family, especially his parents. Whether you live together or not, it's his parents, your elders, and you can't avoid dealing with them. If the in-laws want to block you, they can also do it without living together. If you meet a mother-in-law who is not good in character and unreasonable, it is difficult for women to be comfortable.
Finally, don't ignore the economic conditions, don't seek to be rich and expensive, but also can't live a life of eating and not eating! If you can't even solve the basic problem of survival, what will you talk about later?
For women, marriage is like a second reincarnation, so it is necessary to be cautious.
END.
Today's topic: Do you think Sheng Rulan married Wen Yanjing and lived happily? Feel free to share your views in the comments section.