Hua Lan's marriage was decided by Sheng Hong and Wang Ruofu, for which Sheng Hong also formulated a standard for selecting a son-in-law, which requires a good door, a thick family foundation, a simple population, a good in-laws and concubines, and the most important thing is that the future generations of the family must have ability, either study and have meritorious names, or do things with industry, or have martial arts titles.
Finally, among several candidates, the Yuan family of the Zhongqin Earl's Palace was selected, Hua Lan was the most outstanding and dignified girl in the Sheng family, and in order not to let her marry into the Yuan family and be bullied, the old lady specially invited Grandma Kong to teach Hua Lan to learn the rules, and when she was in the province, she was looked down upon by others.
Before Hua Lan got married, Mrs. Sheng and Wang Ruofu repeatedly instructed that they must serve their in-laws well and be considerate of their husbands, in order for Hua Lan to have more confidence, Wang Ruofu began to prepare a dowry in Quanzhou a few years ago, and the old lady even picked out a set of red treasure red gold noodles from her dowry to Hua Lan.
Ancient large families married their daughters, pay attention to a ten mile red makeup, a lifetime of eating and wearing the degree of things are enough, even their own children and grandchildren to eat and wear are full, the old lady's dowry was too much for several lifetimes to use up, although Hualan's dowry is not as good as the old lady's, but it is enough for her to live in this life.
The Yuan family was originally involved in the rebellion against the king, was stripped of the title, confiscated the family property, and later restored the title after the plan, but also because the family did not strictly punish the feng lu for more than ten years, so the Yuan family was actually a lord's family with no family foundation.
As soon as Hua Lan entered the Yuan family, her mother-in-law constantly beat her dowry, taking Hua Lan's dowry to supplement the eldest son and her mother's family, in order to prevent Yuan Wenshao from maintaining Hua Lan, she stuffed seven or eight concubines into Yuan Wenshao's house in an attempt to destroy the relationship between the husband and wife.
In the face of all kinds of difficulties for his mother-in-law, not how to maintain his husband, and a group of concubines in the house, Hua Lan did not have a hard confrontation with them, if he changed into a self-made clever Mo Lan, he would definitely find a way to fight with that group of concubines.
And Hua Lan's approach is really praised, she used three moves to win the overall situation, and finally Hua Lan became the winner of life in the house fight, not only got rid of the control of the mother-in-law, but also gave birth to a son one by one, and the full house of concubines sent by the mother-in-law was sent by her husband to leave, Yuan Wenshao loved her very much.
The first trick: compromise with the mother-in-law on the surface, and secretly make a move
Since the second day of Hualan's entry, Mrs. Yuan has let her stand every day, sometimes in order to embarrass Hualan, she will let Hualan pass before dawn, and she herself will not get up, let Hualan stand outside the house and wait.
Later, Hua Lan was pregnant with her first child, holding up a big belly, and she had to rush to pour tea and water for Mrs. Yuan, and she couldn't walk on a swollen foot, and she had to go to her mother-in-law every day to ask for peace.
Ancient filial piety is greater than heaven, no matter how reluctant Hua Lan is in her heart, for this filial piety, she must also do it, although Old Uncle Yuan is a reasonable and generous person, it is not good to meddle in the affairs of the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, Yuan Wenshao is even more filial piety, although he knows that his mother is unreasonable, but he did not say anything.
Hua Lan had to temporarily endure the grievances and not to confront her mother-in-law, after all, she had just married, and Lady Yuan had been mixed in this house for decades, even if she was unpopular, she could not fight her, and then the family's flesh and blood relatives, really fighting, there may not be someone to protect themselves.
In addition to letting Hua Lan stand in the rules, Mrs. Yuan's favorite thing to do is to play the idea of Hua Lan's dowry, the Yuan family's original property was confiscated, and it was robbed of Feng Lu for more than ten years, the boys only do things, do not receive Feng Lu, the family has long been without much silver money.
Hua Lan married into the Yuan family with ten miles of red makeup, and Lady Yuan set her sights on this wealth at the beginning, which repeatedly suppressed Hua Lan in order to pinch her, as long as hua Lan was cured first, was it not an easy task to let her take the money?
Within two years of Hua Lan marrying into the Yuan family, the dowry was mostly plundered by Lady Yuan for various reasons, and Hua Lan was also very aggrieved in her heart, but she knew that she could not openly confront Lady Yuan.
So Hua Lan intentionally or unintentionally revealed in front of her husband and Old Uncle Yuan that her mother-in-law always beat her dowry, because of this, Lady Yuan was reprimanded by Old Uncle many times.
Taking Hua Lan's dowry to use or supplement the Yuan family is just that, Lady Yuan actually wants to use it to supplement the mother's family and the daughter who has been married, Hua Lan feels that this matter must make the old uncle angry, so she cleverly revealed the matter.
As a result, Mrs. Yuan was reprimanded fiercely by the old uncle, slapped her, and moved out of the old lady's last words before her death to scare Mrs. Yuan:
How much furniture did you explicitly and secretly calculate for your second daughter-in-law? The family is kind and gentle, so don't bother with us! Not to mention that the dowry is the daughter-in-law's private property, that is, the husband's family is in a hurry to turn around, and it is not too much. If you are good, you will be robbed! Do you still want a face?
My mother once said to your eldest sister and to you and me that you are stupid and greedy, that you have forgotten the great righteousness when you see small profits, that you have embarrassed your heirs, but that you already have children. Before my mother passed away, she asked me to write a letter of resignation, and she wrote a word in the back of her own, saying that it is not easy for the Yuan clan to be reinstated, it is really a blessing to pay the heavens, and there must be no more flaws, if you are difficult to carve in the wood and affect the family, you don't have to worry about your filial piety for three years, you can go out of the house! The Book of Hugh is still on the ancestral hall table!
Mrs. Yuan is always partial to the big room, do not take the second room seriously, for a long time, Yuan Wenshao also has an opinion on his mother, and his face shows a look of insecurity, and he can't help but say:
Mother! If it is just a side, you open your mouth to ask For HuaLan's dowry Zhuangzi, then there are more than a dozen acres of fertile land on the outskirts of Beijing, and now the Sheng family is nearby, if there is any change in this field, don't they know it? You, you, how can you raise your head in the Yue family after you call your son? How will your name be Hua Lan return to her mother's house after that?
Hua Lan is a person with great wisdom, so many years by Lady Yuan constantly asked to stand by the rules, ask for a dowry, she did not like other women, angry to find the mother-in-law theory, nor did she cry and cry to file a complaint.
Instead, pretending to be filial to Lady Yuan, borrowing the mouth of others to pass the words to the ears of people who can cure their mother-in-law, the bad people are made by others, and the virtuous names are their own, which is a wise woman.
In order to alienate their husband and wife feelings, Lady Yuan stuffed seven or eight concubines into Hualan's house, and Hualan could not swallow this breath, so she used her human way to treat her body, and conspired with her in-laws' aunt Lady Shoushanbo to let her aunt buy a good concubine to give to the old uncle, first, to relieve anger, and second, so that Lady Yuan had no time to take care of the affairs in their husband and wife's room.
Lady Yuan really began to get busy, the old uncle's favorite concubine Aunt Zhang is a good concubine, one can not fight, the other can not scold, and is the old uncle's favorite person, she can only jump to her feet, and then Aunt Zhang is also pregnant with a child, Lady Yuan's life is even more wonderful, there is no time to disturb Hualan's life.
The second trick: do not fight with the concubine, grab the husband's heart
The seven or eight concubines in Hua Lan's house were all unconscious, and they were all the people who were Lady Yuan, and they looked at Hua Lan and did not dare to dispose of them, and none of them knew how to restrain them.
Hua Lan was not in a hurry to clean them up, nor did she fight with them all day, she treated everyone politely, and she never had half a point of harsh treatment in eating and wearing, and even they themselves could not fault it.
After a long time, Hualan's reputation in Beijing spread out, and the noble ladies in Beijing all praised Hualan for being filial and tolerant, and even the proud Lady Shoushanbo became Hualan's number one fan, and at the banquets of other people's homes or their own homes, they were constantly praising Hualan and saying good things for Hualan.
Over time, everyone knows that the Yuan family has an eccentric mother-in-law who always likes to be difficult for the second daughter-in-law, and the second daughter-in-law has never bothered with her, and they all admire HuaLan's personality and resilience.
Although Yuan Wenshao is a foolish filial piety man, he is not completely blind, watching his mother so difficult to his wife, and his wife never cares, or as always, he is filial to his mother, and he is also tolerant and generous to the concubines, such a wife is really rare, and he also has compassion for his wife.
Later, Yuan Wenshao, in the face of his mother's unreasonable request, he would also resolutely refuse, and when his mother harassed Hualan, he would also come out to defend his wife.
Seeing that Hua Lan's dowry was asked for by his mother, Yuan Wenshao promised Hua Lan that he would make it up for her little by little, and sure enough, he also spoke his mind.
Later, Yuan Wenshao saw a Zhuangzi, beautiful mountains and clear waters, very beautiful, thinking that The Zhuangzi that Hualan was married to was taken several times by his mother, so Yuan Wenshao wanted to buy this Zhuangzi and give it to Hualan as compensation, the money for buying Zhuangzi was not enough, he also sold one of his beloved BMW for this, and Hualan was touched.
Even if Yuan Wenshao was filial piety, he couldn't see that his mother was eccentric to such a point, and he was eager to give everything good to the big room. In the end, he is self-motivated and face-saving, but also has to socialize outside, and when he has difficulties, his mother-in-law prevaricates his sleeve hand.
He could only find his wife to bow his head and reach out, and when it was the turn of the big room, the old woman urged him to help. As long as it is a person in this world, there are selfish intentions, and Yuan Wenshao also has a wife and children, and every year, month after month, even his own son will also be centrifugal.
It was only a matter of time before Hua Lan could wait for him to turn back, but this was also Hua Lan's skill, and after enduring many years, the water droplets were worn, and Yuan Wenshao gradually turned the corner.
Seeing that his mother has been so eccentric for so many years, everything is towards the eldest son, although the father is fair, he can't take care of how much he has, only Hua Lan, no matter how much grievance he has suffered, has always guarded himself without complaint or regret, Yuan Wenshao finally understood:
No matter how good the parents are, they are brothers and sisters, they can't revolve around themselves alone, the brothers and sisters are good, they have become relatives, they all have their own small families, the children are good, in the future, they are going to leave themselves and fly to the wider sky, only the wife, she is the one who thinks of herself wholeheartedly, always accompanies herself, is the person she should cherish the most.
Hua Lan's love is waiting for middle age, Minglan also once ridiculed Hua Lan: the love of middle-aged people is like a flood beast, it can't be stopped when it comes, Hua Lan scolds Minglan poor mouth, but the corners of his mouth grin to his ears.
Yuan Wenshao's love for Hua Lan, a love is a lifetime, he sent all those little goblins sent by his mother to send away, only one aunt who Hua Lan personally carried in the house, the birth mother of the eldest son, Hua Lan did not do it himself the whole time, and swept away all obstacles.
The old couple are both grandparents, Yuan Wenshao no matter where he goes, he does not forget to bring gifts to Hua Lan, And Hua Lan pretends not to care, while shyly hiding things.
The third trick: throw away the chores and raise your body to have a son
Hua Lan's first child was a sister, and the mother-in-law did not take her seriously, and threw a lot of things that the housekeeper director lost money and did not like to hua Lan, because she was too tired and injured when she was pregnant, and there was no sign of pregnancy for several years, so she opened her face to a young lady who grew up with her, did Yuan Wenshao's matching room, gave birth to the eldest son, and recorded it in her name.
This may be the only thing Hua Lan has done in this life that he regrets, but under the circumstances at that time, it was also a helpless move, if he let the little goblins sent by Lady Yuan give birth to the eldest son, Hua Lan can regenerate, naturally he is not afraid, but if Hua Lan cannot be reborn, then there will be no dependence in the second half of his life. If you can think of the sons born one after the other, Hua Lan will not be the eldest son of Mr. Shu in front of him.
At that time, Hua Lan's situation was very difficult, Lady Yuan threw a bunch of things about the housekeeper to Hua Lan, a huge earl's palace, from the degree of eating and wearing up and down, to the family's silver money shop, all of which were managed by Hua Lan alone, in order to manage this family, she lost a lot of dowry, but she did not get half a good point.
Wang Ruofu thought that Hua Lan was in charge of the family to stand firm, and wanted Hua Lan to grasp the power of the housekeeper in his hands, but Mrs. Sheng let Hua Lan throw the stewardship out, who loves to manage who manages, in short, do not let Hua Lan manage, the housekeeper for three years, the pigs and dogs are suspected, and the top priority is Mr. Son.
The grandmother invited the old lady of the Baishitan He family to come to Hualan to recuperate, and after Hualan returned home, he pretended to be ill and threw out the housekeeper's affairs, and a year later he gave birth to his first son, Shi Ge'er, Yuan Wenshao liked it very much, and came to Hualan's yard more and more diligently.
Later, Hua Lan adjusted his body, one after another gave birth to concubines, Yuan Wenshao was even more unwilling to be half a point by other women, Hua Lan not only stood firm, but also got the heart of her husband, and the old uncle was extremely satisfied with this daughter-in-law.
Yuan Wenshao's aunt Lady Shoushan Bo originally preferred HuaLan, seeing that Hualan had given birth to so many concubines, and the eldest daughter-in-law of the big house was not very good, and there were few descendants, so she became more and more close to Hualan.
Thinking that a woman still has to rely on her mother's family for a lifetime, the big house cannot be relied on, the second room is the best backer, and she has to have a good relationship with Hualan, when Hualan proposed to let her find a concubine for the old uncle, she did her best to do it.
Hua Lan is a kind person after all, she gave birth to a room of concubines, and did not forget the eldest son, when she first needed it, the eldest son came to her side, she was also afraid that if in the future, the eldest son of the concubine was like the Liang family, and the concubine could not be lifted up, and their mother and son would be sad, but in the end they still couldn't help but raise him.
Shu eldest son is not a reading material, like to dance knives and guns, Yuan Wenshao has no time to manage, Hua Lan invited the eldest son of Shu to a sword and gun master, and also ordered to make the martial arts field bigger, look at a few small ones are not bookish, maybe there will be people who love to learn martial arts in the future...
Hua Lan thought, now that his position is so stable, why bother with so much, the eldest son is also a son, no matter what, after all, he has called his mother for so many years, how can he bear to destroy him!
Win the overall situation, children and grandchildren, husband and wife love
Hua Lan is a smart woman, married into the high gate of life is not good, she did not complain about the world, nor did she get by, with her own wisdom and means to win a good future for herself.
In the face of Lady Yuan, she appeared to be obedient, and then intentionally or unintentionally revealed Lady Yuan's various practices to her to Yuan Wenshao and old uncle, while showing weakness and trying to find a way.
She also treated them kindly with a room full of concubines, creating an image of yuan Wenshao who was virtuous and generous and tolerant in everything, and then adjusted her body according to the formula given to her by Old Lady He, and desperately gave birth to a son. In ancient times, women only had three major patrons, father and brother, husband, and son.
Instead of putting the cart before the horse like other women, Warland put her time and energy into the insignificant things, and she understood that temporary grievances were nothing, as long as the final outcome was good and the process was not at all difficult.
She also knows that as long as there is the support of her mother's family, even if the husband's family will make some small means, they will not dare to do too much to themselves, these things in addition to making themselves disgusted, can not move their own fundamentals, and why bother with them.
The reason why the old uncle would turn towards her was because she had a powerful father and brother who could not easily offend, and the reason why Yuan Wenshao had never really alienated Hua Lan and made a concubine and destroyed his wife was also because Hua Lan had a powerful mother's family, he was Gu Tingye's subordinate, and it was not easy to offend Hua Lan, and his own officials were not easy to do.
But despite this, those are only external advantages, Hua Lan understands even more that the feelings of husband and wife do not lie in the outside at all, and on the inside, instead of spending time fighting with the flowers and plants outside, it is better to use means to hold the husband's heart, if the husband's heart is on himself, what is the harm in having more concubines.
Hua Lan only grasped the three fundamentals, carried out step by step unhurriedly, and finally got everything he wanted, such a mind and means, is what a truly intelligent person should have.