01
The most important thing about family harmony is the harmony of husband and wife, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is harmonious, and the bond of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship is the husband of the wife and the son of the mother-in-law.
Most of the contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law cannot be alleviated because the husband has not done a good job, or blindly toward the wife, disregarding the mother's feelings, or blindly toward the mother, indiscriminately accusing the wife.
The contradiction between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law is not resolved by anyone, if the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law cannot understand each other, it will only make the contradiction deeper and deeper.
Of course, the mediation of the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law must also be done in the right way, otherwise it will only make the situation worse and worse.
02
Ms. Liu was widowed at an early age, because she did not remarry her children, she has been dependent on her son for her life, because she has seen the hard work of her mother to raise herself, and Ms. Liu's son has been filial and obedient since childhood.
The son grew up day by day, was admitted to a key university, graduated and found a good job, Ms. Liu is very happy, in Ms. Liu's heart, her son is the best, so in the matter of her son looking for a girlfriend, Ms. Liu has been very strict, and she must find a daughter-in-law who is as good as her son.
But the son has brought back several girlfriends one after another, Ms. Liu feels unsatisfactory, seeing that her son is getting older, Ms. Liu had to relax her conditions and let her son marry a daughter-in-law that she is not satisfied with.
As the saying goes, with a daughter-in-law who forgets her mother, Ms. Liu is not worried about her son not filial piety to her, but the son is more concerned about the daughter-in-law, she can't stand it, in the heart of the son, she must be the first to be a mother.
Therefore, when the daughter-in-law entered the door on the first day, Ms. Liu gave the daughter-in-law a dismount, saying that she was tired recently and did not have the strength to cook, so she let the daughter-in-law do it.
The daughter-in-law is still well-behaved, and did not refute Ms. Liu, she went to eat by herself, cleaned up the house, and in the evening her son also came to care about how her health was, this operation, Ms. Liu felt that her status was not shaken, and she was in a good mood.
Of course, just this is not enough, after all, the daughter-in-law has just arrived, maybe just pretending, so Ms. Liu decided to stick to her plan, three days and two ends to find a little daughter-in-law problems, at any time to knock her, let her know who is the hostess of the family.
Most of the time, the daughter-in-law obediently listened, and occasionally became impatient, but Ms. Liu did what she commanded.
Once Ms. Liu heard her daughter-in-law complaining to her son in the house that she was a mother-in-law who bullied her, but fortunately, her son was reasonable and did not listen to what her daughter-in-law said, but felt that she had worked hard as a mother for half a lifetime, and it was right to enjoy happiness.
Ms. Liu was very satisfied, and this was the effect she wanted to achieve.
Not long after the son got married, the daughter-in-law became pregnant, and the son's focus was all on his daughter-in-law, and the housework was not allowed to be done, and the work was not allowed to be done, so it was necessary to raise the fetus at home.
Ms. Liu can't do it, the daughter-in-law doesn't work and stays at home, can't do anything herself, doesn't have to wait, this is too uneconomical. But this time, Ms. Liu's objections did not work, but was counted down by her son: "She can't eat the food she vomited, how to work?" Can't you just think of Mom for her? "
Ms. Liu felt very wronged, she could not understand how the current girls are so delicate, pregnant with a child can not do anything, when she was pregnant, but also to work in the field, there is not so much work.
In order not to serve her daughter-in-law, Ms. Liu chose to pretend to be ill. What a headache brain fever, back pain, limb weakness, dizziness, anyway is nothing but lying down can do anything.
She was such a demon, her daughter-in-law had to accompany her to the hospital with a big belly, and her son returned to his previous filial piety, and Ms. Liu felt that she had won this round again.
Finally the child was born, originally Ms. Liu was going to help take care of the child, but after taking care of it for less than a month, Ms. Liu felt that she could not do it.
It may be that she is older, and she feels that her energy really can't keep up, but she is under the same roof as her son and daughter-in-law, and she does not take care of her children with her hands.
Ms. Liu, who does not want to take care of her children, uses her hometown skills and pretends to be sick, anyway, every time she is sick, her son must turn to her, and she has tried and failed.
Sure enough, upon hearing that Ms. Liu was ill, Ms. Liu's son hurriedly and panickedly took Ms. Liu everywhere to see a doctor, and the child could only be brought by the daughter-in-law herself.
After a few years, every time as long as the son was facing the daughter-in-law, Ms. Liu pretended to be pitiful, pretended to be innocent, pretended to be sick, and took her son to death.
After all, her son has to go to work, and most of the time it is the daughter-in-law who accompanies her to the hospital, but Ms. Liu never feels that she owes her daughter-in-law, but she thinks it is very interesting to toss people like this.
But in the end, Ms. Liu still overturned the car on the old line of pretending to be sick.
Maybe the daughter-in-law saw that she was pretending to be ill, or maybe she really couldn't stand her, and when Ms. Liu last proposed to go to the hospital to see a doctor, the daughter-in-law refused.
This refusal angered Ms. Liu, which made her feel that her position in the family had been shaken, and her daughter-in-law, who had always been obedient and obedient, would actually resist.
Ms. Liu slapped her daughter-in-law without saying a word, and when she didn't expect it, her daughter-in-law also fought back, just when Ms. Liu's son came back from work, he saw two people fighting and hurriedly pulled the two people apart.
Ms. Liu thought that this time her son would still stand on her side, but she did not expect that he actually helped her daughter-in-law to speak: "Mom, we have endured enough for so many years, you are a good mother, but you are not worthy of being a mother-in-law!" "
These words hit Ms. Liu's heart hard, she did not understand what she had done wrong, but her son no longer listened to her defenses and directly sent her back to her hometown.
03
Some thoughts you don't say doesn't mean others don't understand, don't take the patience of others as a capital to hurt others!
First: Behind the inexplicable mother-in-law relationship, there must be a man who is wavering.
Most of the contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are caused by the discord between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and the mutual understanding, of course, there are many mother-in-law like Ms. Liu in the above article who deliberately provoke trouble.
In fact, Ms. Liu originally had a filial son, and she could also have a filial daughter-in-law, but because she was afraid that her son would have a daughter-in-law and forget her, she wanted to suppress her daughter-in-law in everything to consolidate her position.
And Ms. Liu's son, also a moment toward the mother, a moment to the daughter-in-law, completely at will, without a little principle, the son's behavior not only did not make Ms. Liu feel safe, but felt that as long as he did not be a demon, the son was snatched away by the daughter-in-law.
If at the beginning, Ms. Liu's son could see the essence of his mother and be relieved, Ms. Liu would not end up with such a dismal ending.
Therefore, having a wavering son or husband is more likely to trigger contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
In the final analysis, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are fighting for a man, if this man can see the essence through the phenomenon, clearly know the demands of the daughter-in-law and the mother, can effectively prevent the occurrence of contradictions.
Not all men have such abilities, so in most cases, men can only watch their mothers and daughters-in-law conflict, helpless.
In fact, there are only a few problems between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, or the mother-in-law feels that the daughter-in-law has taken over the son's love for her and becomes jealous; or the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have a generation gap and are not accustomed to each other; or the two have different concepts on the care and education of the child, no matter which kind of contradiction, as long as the root of the contradiction can be found, it can be well solved.
Men who are sons and husbands should still communicate more, and simply moving towards one side will not solve the problem.
Second: there is no responsibility between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, only kindness
Many elderly people believe that it is an obligation for the son to provide for her son, and it is also the responsibility of the daughter-in-law to take care of her, after all, if she marries into her family, she should be sent to the end of her pension.
Such an idea is inevitably a bit wishful thinking.
People's feelings are all getting along, how to get along? Naturally, it is a courtesy exchange, and the same is true for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
No one will do filial piety to you because I am your daughter-in-law, after all, the responsibility of taking care of your mother-in-law should be the husband's, there is no grace of birth and support, where is the responsibility of old-age care.
Many mothers-in-law do not help their daughters-in-law when they are pregnant and have children and need help with their children, but they ask their daughters-in-law to take care of themselves when they are old.
Just like Ms. Liu in the above article, she did not have any kindness to her daughter-in-law, but let her daughter-in-law come to help whenever she had something, and no one could bear it.
There is only kindness between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, so if you want your daughter-in-law to take care of yourself in the future, you must pay something, and don't think about sitting back and enjoying it.
Text/No Pen