The increasing number of divorcees today reflects the many challenges that modern marriages face on the one hand, and many people who will not run their marriages on the other.
So, what problems are prone to arise in modern marriages? How do we solve it?
Trust issues
Trust is the foundation for the sustainable and healthy development of the marital relationship.
After all, marriage is a symbiotic relationship established by two independent individuals. As independent individuals, each of us has our own thoughts and emotions, these others do not necessarily know at any time and anywhere, therefore, there needs to be trust between each other, the other side trusts themselves, do not restrain themselves, we also trust each other, not afraid of being deceived.
However, trust is mutual, we expect each other to trust themselves, we must establish each other's trust in each other in the usual relationship with each other. What if you let the other person trust themselves?
Match words with deeds and do what you say you will do; don't lie to your partner and others, even if it's white lies; value the other person's feelings, even if you don't agree with your partner's ideas, don't ignore their feelings; call when you say you'll call; call your partner to tell you you'll be home later; take on the workload you're supposed to shoulder; never say something you can't take back.
Communication issues
There is no such thing as a conflicting exchange, because everyone comes from a different upbringing and has different life experiences, and no one can fully and unmistakably understand the words and deeds of another person.
The emergence of contradictions is inevitable, but how to deal with and resolve contradictions after they occur is the most important. Communication is one of the most effective ways. Many marital problems can be solved through communication.
Good communication needs to be in an undisturbed environment. You can wait until the kids are asleep, turn the phone to vibrate, let the voice mail answer the phone, and have a long talk with him or her.
If you can't help arguing loudly, you can choose quiet public places, such as libraries, parks, restaurants, because if you talk loudly in these places, you will feel embarrassed, so you will unconsciously whisper to each other.
Make rules such as not disturbing each other at work, forbidden to say something like "You always... You never..." and things like that.
Housework issues
Many times, couples start disputes over small things. Many wives complain that their husbands are lazy and unwilling to do housework. I was busy working outside, and when I came home, I waited for my husband and children, so I complained that my husband was inconsiderate.
If you often quarrel over housework, then you need to sit down and discuss solutions together to arrange the housework fairly. You can make a family schedule so that everyone knows what they are responsible for at home. If one party likes to do housework, the other can do laundry and garden things. If you don't like doing housework, consider hiring someone to do it.
The problem of spending money
Everyone's understanding of money is different, some people spend a lot of money, and feel that when they earn money, they have to spend it; Some people are more frugal and spend money more carefully. The different consumption concepts of the two sides often lead to some quarrels and complaints.
Therefore, if you don't want to quarrel over the problem of spending money, first of all, don't involve the topic of money when arguing, and take time to discuss money calmly.
Second, tell your partner about your current financial situation and don't hide your debts and wages.
Stop blaming the other, but instead acknowledge that there must be one person on both sides who is thrifty and the other who is wasteful, and that it is good for both sides and can complement each other. Establish a common account that includes deposits. Determine which party pays the monthly bill, allowing the other party the right to handle their own money independently.
There is no awareness of running a marriage
Many people think that everything will be fine when they get married, feel that the other party is their own from now on, and no longer worry about the TA running away with others, so they no longer care about each other, and no longer appreciate and praise each other.
Marriage is not the end point of love, on the contrary, it is the beginning of a deeper level of love, and it is more necessary to maintain and develop with each other. If you want your married life to be happy, you need to run it all the time.
It is easy to be a good person for a day, it is difficult to be a good person for a lifetime, it is also difficult to love a person, "it is easy to love each other and it is difficult to stay together", it is easy to love a person for a period of time, and it will be a little difficult to love a person for a lifetime.
Who can have maintained the mood of love at that time in these long years to deal with the problems faced by two people?
It's really hard, but work hard and manage it with your heart, and your marriage will be very happy.