"Zhu Zi Family Training" Yun, the door of the house and Shun, although the food is not good, there is also Yu Huan.
A harmonious and stable family determines our happiness. For a family to be harmonious and stable, it is necessary to let go of three.
First, let go of blame.
Some people say that when I make a mistake and am feeling guilty, the most painful thing is the blame from my loved ones.
Zhang Zhilin once said: When a husband and wife have a problem, you first ask yourself, what kind of result do you want to achieve? Do you want a divorce or do you want to go on? If you want to keep going, don't continue to blame the other person.
Andersen wrote a fairy tale called "The Old Man Can Never Be Wrong when He Does Things."
The protagonist is a very cute old man. He led his horse to the market and changed it into a sheep, then a dog, then a chicken, and finally a pile of rotten pears.
Others laughed at the old man's stupidity. But when the old man came home, his wife said: You have done it so right, you can do everything wrong. This is the wisdom of the wife, and the two of them live happily all their lives.
Marriage is like this, when encountering things, thousands of complaints and complaints are not as real as an encouragement. The so-called happy and happy marriage is nothing more than generosity, no complaints, no accusations.
Second, let go of expectations.
Counselor Christopher said: We pursue ideals, but ideals are the sufferings of our lives. How to deal with the relationship between ideals and life, Christopher put it this way:
Let go of expectations and don't expect too much from your partner or it will ruin your marriage.
There are too many such examples in real life. The wife complained to her husband: You see the old king next door bought his wife a brand-name bag. You see my girlfriend's husband is now the bureau chief. And my female colleague, who already has three houses.
The wife said that all this was to tell her husband: How I married you. Others can get promoted and get rich, why can't you? The wife puts all her expectations on her husband, but she does not see that the efforts of her husband for the family are too much to hurt her husband.
A fan once told me that he was about to get a divorce, and he couldn't stand his wife's endless accusations against him. Two people can get to this point, he never imagined.
When the two of them were three years old, their wife found a job selling a mansion and met customers who were either rich or expensive. They speak politely and behave elegantly and generously. The wife thinks that her other half should be such a person, not a two-point office worker.
After a long time with these people, the wife will pick her husband's wrong everywhere, complaining that the husband can't afford to buy a luxury car, can't afford a big house, can't buy brand-name clothes for himself, and can't let the child live a better life.
In fact, this husband earns nearly 20,000 yuan a month, although he is not a rich man, but his income also exceeds 98% of the country's people. He was reluctant to eat or wear, and enrolled his children in extracurricular classes, and his salary income was managed by his wife. Isn't such a person still not good? But the wife complained over and over again, and finally brought about the end of divorce.
Bing Xin said that the less a person expects, the happier a person will live. No one can meet all their expectations, and the only way to do this is to lower their expectations. Don't be too harsh on your partner, it will only make both partners feel miserable in the end. When you lower your expectations, you will find that the world is so beautiful.
Third, let go of the calculations.
Marshall said: In marriage, do not worry about who is right and who is wrong. Two people who come out of different families, it is inevitable that there will be certain differences in various directions. What we need is mutual tolerance, and marriage will go further.
Isn't bingxin's husband like this? Although he was talented, he did help often in life. Bing Xin asked him to buy a cotton jacket, but he actually bought a feather brush. But Bing Xin never accused him, just smiled and told him: You are such a stupid aunt.
We say that if a family wants harmony, one must make concessions. If both husband and wife are very strong, the family is bound to face the brink of shattering.
The second grandmother played by the big house MenrisChenkowa is a very wise woman. She always hoped that Old Master Bai would be more patient, but Old Master Bai was unwilling to listen to him, and he kept fighting hard with his opponents, and finally caused trouble. Old Master Bai later said: If only I could listen to the second grandmother's words.
But what did the second grandmother say? Others have been bullied into the family, and only fighting back is the true color of the big husband. Seeing no, the second grandmother persuaded but the white master did not listen, and afterwards she did not argue about the right or wrong but comforted the white master, which is the wisdom of the second grandmother.
I really like the saying: Don't use your family as a battlefield, and your partner is not an enemy. When encountering problems, it is necessary to distinguish between right and wrong, which can only make the love of both sides less and less, and the family will become happier and happier.
The ancients said, "It is not easy to be rich and worry, but it is enough to be at home and poor." It is much better to have a happy family than to have more money. Don't blame, reduce expectations, don't argue about right and wrong, and your family will become more and more welcoming.