Last night my husband said, "Tomorrow is still March 8th Women's Day, please go out to eat." "Nine years in love, seven years of marriage, the holiday is to go out to dinner together, although simple, but I can talk together, enjoy the time of the two, I am already very satisfied." 」
The years are quiet, but "someone stands with you at dusk, and someone asks for porridge to be warm."
Written on this March 8th Women's Day, may every married woman be able to do these 5 points well and live a happy life.
01 About money
In recent years, I have often seen many articles encouraging women to be sure to hold money in their hands, of course, there is a reason, the importance of money is self-evident. But everything is measured, too much emphasis on money, may also be "smart but mistaken by smart", two people living together, what do you think in your heart, how can he not know? And if he doesn't know what you think anymore, such a marriage will only be indifferent.
In last year's hit TV series "Thirty Only", there is such a detail that Zhong Xiaoqin and Chen Yu are a "shared couple", and their lives have been somewhat suffocated. But even so, Zhong Xiaoqin would still send her salary to Chen Yu every month, so that the two quarreled, and dozens of yuan had to ask others to borrow.
Zhong Xiaoqin said that it was because she was lazy and too lazy to take care of money. I believe this, because I am also such a person, when I first got married, the mortgage pressure is very large, I need to use my salary to pay together, every month I will call the salary to my husband, these two years, in advance to pay a part of the mortgage, you can not need my salary, but I still do not like to take money.
Laziness is on the one hand, and the most important aspect is to believe in the character of your husband. I just think that if one day, our relationship comes to an end, even if we are divorced, my husband will not "take advantage" of the property.
In the play, Chen Yu is also like this, when he and Zhong Xiaoqin divorced, the property was divided equally, even the welfare house of his unit, he also had to give Zhong Xiaoqin half, when Zhong Xiaoqin was surprised.
Instead of focusing on your own money after marriage, it is better to choose a marriage partner before marriage. People often say that feelings are unreliable and make sense. However, a person's nature will not be easily changed.
Be a woman who is not "preoccupied" with money, find a man who will not be "preoccupied" with you in money, such a view of money, such an "economic foundation", is the foundation of a happy marriage.
02 About kids
Chen Weijun, the director of the documentary "Shengmen", once said:
"As long as a woman has not given birth to a child, no matter how old she is, she is still a little girl's mentality, but once the child is born, the woman changes, and her body will face subversive damage." But even so, all women have to follow in, even if they are deformed, even if they are in danger, they have to give birth to their children. ”
Only when you have given birth to a child do you know what "having a child" and "raising a child" are. Otherwise, even if you keep watching the pig run, you will never know the taste of pork.
Having children is one of the most important things in a woman's life, and there is no one. It is also a huge test for marriage and a real watershed in life.
Jia Baoyu said:
"A woman is a pearl before she gets married, and after she marries, she loses her radiance and becomes a dead bead, and when she is old, she flows with a dirty man and becomes a dead fish eye."
I think it's because the woman is a mom!
If you plan to have a baby, you must plan in advance, especially how to sit in the confinement, why "confinement revenge for a lifetime"? Because that month was so sad, it was the most fragile and helpless moment for a woman's body and mind.
Love the child, but also love yourself, if the mother is physically and mentally exhausted, how to take care of the child? If the mother is not happy, how dare the child be happy?
As for having a second child and a third child, the author believes that the last reason that should be born is to "leave a companion for the boss", how many bosses are willing to have this companion? It's like the saying on the Internet, "Playmate when you are a child, a relative when you grow up".
As a mother, her energy is limited, and the general family economic conditions are even more limited. "Why don't so many women want to have children now?"
The answer is one word – difficult.
Before having children, you must have this psychological preparation, "be prepared", decide when to have children according to your own situation, how many children you want, let the fatigue be reduced and then reduced, and truly enjoy the happiness of being a mother.
03 About the mother-in-law
In ancient times, in-laws had the right to divorce their wives, and in ancient marriage laws, there was a provision of "seven out of three not to go", that is, it was possible to divorce a wife in seven cases, and there were three situations in which a wife could not be divorced. Among them, the "filial piety in-laws" must divorce their wives, and the "three-year mourning" (who has been with her husband for three years to guard the funeral for her in-laws) cannot divorce her wife.
Thanks to this wonderful era, all this crap has been abolished. But the influence of mother-in-law on marriage should not be underestimated.
There are the following 3 suggestions for mother-in-law:
First, keep your distance at the outset.
"If life is only as if we first met" Ah, when we first met, everyone wanted to leave a good impression on each other, especially many mothers-in-law would show great enthusiasm when they saw their daughter-in-law, and they would also take the daughter-in-law's hand and say: "In the future, you will be my daughter-in-law, if the boy bullies you, tell me, I will teach him a lesson." ”
At this time, be careful not to believe. Otherwise, pay the true feelings, after marriage will be disappointed or even desperate, never expect to establish an intimate relationship with the mother-in-law, keep a distance, mutual respect is the best state.
Second, don't live together.
Many contradictions arise from living together, "far away and near smelly", especially between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Especially for those families that need the help of their mother-in-law to bring their children, there are more contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
So, don't live together if conditions permit.
Third, put the relationship with the husband first in the family relationship.
Psychologist Wu Zhihong wrote in "Why Home Hurts People":
"The relationship between husband and wife is the core of the family, and only by putting the relationship between husband and wife first can the family be stable and harmonious."
John Gottman also proposed in Happy Marriages:
"There is a problem with the mother-in-law relationship, and the husband must stand with the wife. Instead of staying neutral and just being a good old man. ”
Let the husband understand that he is the most important person in the mother-in-law relationship.
04 About the business
The career here refers not only to work, but also to interests and hobbies. In life, if there is no spiritual pursuit of oneself, it is undoubtedly the walking dead. And if a woman takes her husband, children, and family as the whole of her life, she will not be happy.
I liked the writer Wang Meng's definition of genius, saying:
"Genius is about concentrating time and concentrating energy. People with normal IQ, if they can concentrate their time and energy, do one or two things well, and persevere for a long time, they can generally make good achievements and show considerable talent.
In fact, the innate difference between people is likely not as big as imagined, people's ability is actually a constant, the big difference, the big variable lies in where you concentrate your time and energy, depending on which 'sutra' your spirit has gone.
Concentrate your life's energy on playing bridge, playing Go, raising clams, raising scorpions, making clay people, kneading dough people, carving insects and carving dragons, you can create achievements and become a master. It is a pity that many people spend their precious time, precious youth, and precious energy on boring, meaningless, and unattractive things! ”
Whether it's reading, writing, or opening a shop, painting, fitness... You can "concentrate your life's energy" to operate and run your own business.
05 About friends
There are always some "husbands robbed by girlfriends" or "girlfriends tearing each other" news to earn enough eyeballs, but also make the word girlfriend change its flavor.
Why do men always say "put a knife in the ribs of a brother", while a woman has to be framed by a girlfriend?
Such girlfriends are certainly not worth making, let alone real friends.
When I first went to college, my counselor said something like this that I still remember vividly. She said: "During college, of course, you can fall in love, but I want to remind everyone not to just be busy in love and forget about friends. When you graduate from college, you only have one boyfriend or girlfriend around, and if you break up again and again, it is really 'lonely'. ”
Now, at the age of 34, I can better appreciate the meaning. Many times in life, family members can't do it, husbands can't do it, they just need friends.
Especially friends who have experienced growth with you and come together from the student era, one is the luck of life.
A woman's life is too hard, may we all love ourselves well, use wisdom to manage their own lives, and live a happy life.