The first time we entered the palace of marriage was to live a good life and go with the mentality of foaming at each other.
After all, marriage is a major event in life, and there is only one such thing in a lifetime, of course, it needs to be cherished, and no couple is married for the purpose of divorce.
So, any marriage, at the very beginning, is good and worth looking forward to.
However, the world is unpredictable, and what we do and the choices we make now will affect the future to a certain extent.
A good decision, the accompanying future must also be spring blossoming;
Bad decisions, accompanied by a future, must also be like falling into an ice cave.
Many times, the reason why a marriage fails is not because of those sudden changes, the so-called details determine success or failure.
All marriages that finally collapse are because there are some run-ins when they are together, and these grinds are not properly handled, so they will be messed up.
Psychological research has shown that couples in these three ways of getting along are "running for divorce", don't believe it.
You take your Yangguan Road, I cross my canoe bridge, and the well water does not violate the river water
Chen Yu and Zhong Xiaoqin in the TV series "Thirty Only" met through blind dates, Zhong Xiaoqin's personality is more cheerful, and Chen Yu is more stable.
The personalities of the two people complement each other, so in the process of getting along, it is also a good fit, and it is also very pleasant to get along, which is very sweet and beautiful for a small couple.
However, such a beautiful and warm scene came to an abrupt end when they entered the marriage hall.
Chen Yu never cared about Zhong Xiaoqin's feelings, and when he came home from work, he only buried his head in collecting his own fish and did not talk to Zhong Xiaoqin.
And Zhong Xiaoqin is nestled on the sofa to brush the drama, the two people have zero communication throughout the whole process, and they don't think there is anything wrong with such a way of getting along.
Until Zhong Xiaoqin's birthday, ming had already made an appointment to celebrate the birthday, but Chen Yu took care of fiddling with his fish, completely ignoring that Zhong Xiaoqin was still waiting for him outside in the rain.
This is the first time that Zhong Xiaoqin feels that her marriage is so bad, and she has seen the results since she got married, but the more she goes back, the worse it gets.
She doesn't even know what the point of marrying such a person is, and what is the difference between such a widowed marriage and her own state when she was single?
Marriage has always been a matter of two people, it is I who have you in my heart, and your heart is also worried about me.
Instead of saying that two people are married, they are only married to save trouble, to complete a certain task, such a perfunctory and indifferent marriage is doomed to end in tragedy.
We cannot tolerate shortcomings, and when there is a contradiction, we will sword and hurt each other
Yi Shu wrote in "The Only Woman": "Marriage is basically such a thing, and then love is sensational, and after three or five years, it will disappear." ”
Those who have just started to get married, because of the freshness filter, feel that no matter what the other party does, they are deep in their hearts;
As time went on, the throbbing and freshness of the original slowly disappeared, and the filter faded.
At this time, we will feel how the person in front of us and his (her) shortcomings have suddenly become so many.
Not so delicate, not so thoughtful, not so gentle, not so meticulous.
This sudden change makes us unable to bear that the person we choose has deviated from our expectations.
Thus, at the moment when the expectations decreased, we could not bear it, and a fierce quarrel broke out.
And the originally good feelings have also gone to extinction in this day-to-day quarrel.
In fact, gold is not perfect, no one is perfect, and everyone has more or less shortcomings.
To avoid tragedy, all we can do is choose to spend time with a person and not to take a magnifying glass to get along with each other.
Indifference, disregard plus do not care, do not quarrel, turn a blind eye
We always feel that the quarrel between husband and wife is not good, too hurt feelings, and those couples who do not quarrel are harmonious and beautiful.
In fact, only those who have experienced it know that not quarreling between husband and wife is the really terrible thing.
In the movie "No Questions Asked", Liu Shufen and Xu Bochang do not quarrel because their feelings are good?
It must not be, because they not only do not quarrel, they do not even say anything.
Xu Bo is often helpful, smiling, and approachable in the eyes of others, but in front of Liu Shufen, he changes his face, cold, ignoring and not caring.
Because they don't care, so the other party will not let themselves have any emotional fluctuations, how can there be such an emotional thing as a quarrel?
Qian Zhongshu described marriage in "The Siege" as follows: "Marriage is like a birdcage with golden paint, the birds outside the cage want to live in, and the birds inside the cage want to fly out, so the knot is separated, the knot is knotted, and there is no bureau." ”
Marriage will have a gap, but there is a gap is not terrible, good communication can be, next time will avoid wrestling on the same issue. However, a marriage like this "pretending to be deaf and dumb" is destined to end in divorce, without exception.