It is said that happy marriages are similar, there is good communication, mutual giving and goal of life, but unhappy marriages have their own problems, some are accusatory and disliked, some are unwilling to pay, but worse is the cold war between two people.
Some people say that because they don't know how to communicate, they quarrel when they talk, and in the end, when they encounter things, they can only have a cold war, which began with a cold war for a few hours, and then found that everyone seems to be used to this model.
The cold war lasted longer and longer, from a few days to a few months, and finally there was nothing to say directly, there was no one in life like you, and then the end was either a betrayal of the marriage by one party, or a long period of not speaking, and finally it depended on who could not bear it and filed for divorce.
At this point, the marriage completely collapsed.
The cold war was certainly intended to solve problems
In fact, no one wants to be cold, but the beginning of each cold war must have tried a lot of communication methods to be ineffective, or wanted to make the other party compromise to solve this problem, but in the wrong way.
Because the Cold War can show that two people are not suitable for this model, you cold war is to hope that the other party will compromise, but he may just eat soft and not eat hard, and as a result, two people will be hard, and in the end, no one will pull down.
The Cold War began to escalate, originally just to solve a problem, you think you don't promise me, or don't solve it, then I will ignore you, did not expect that the other party either does not know how to open, or that I can not do the mentality.
The two people are on the bar, and at this time it has changed from solving the problem to an emotional upgrade.
Both sides may have forgotten what problem they were trying to solve just now, and now remember that you ignored me, then I didn't pay attention, you didn't love me, you didn't coax me, you didn't understand me.
The course of the Cold War was actually lonely
What is marriage, that is, two people encounter things and some people discuss, encounter grievances and some people talk, but now it is good not only that no one can tell, but that you have a stomach of grievances and want to talk to others.
You begin to feel lonely in your marriage, facing a cold house and a cold lover.
The longer and more times the Cold War, the more you doubt marriage, which seems to be punishing the other party, but also punishing yourself.
Because you find that no matter what you do or say, the other party will ignore you, and every feeling you pass out is like hitting the cotton and bouncing back.
Gradually, you also begin to withdraw your feelings.
In fact, before the Cold War, we had to think about what it was for, whether it was to coax the other side or to compromise, and some people would break the atmosphere very much.
During the Cold War, women thought in their hearts how men could not coax themselves, in fact, she did not care about who was right and who was wrong, but only wanted an attitude of men.
What the man thinks about is what is wrong with himself, and why is she so angry? Two people may not be on the same channel at all, so instead of both of them being so entangled, it is better to give up one step each.
For example, a friend was angry at the beginning and ignored her husband, but her husband knew that she liked to eat supper, so every time in the middle of the night, he went out to buy her favorite supper.
Come back and coax her, and then when the feelings are good, communicate well, and think about how to deal with conflicts every time you encounter disagreements.
First of all, don't discuss things, because it is obvious that two people cannot reach an agreement at this time, and even emotionally high, they want to win.
Then first ease the atmosphere, wait for the two people to calm down, and then see how to reach an agreement.
With a sincere and accepting attitude, humbly ask for advice, since you and colleagues who can't see it can handle it, why can't you cooperate with your lover who wants to live a lifetime?
Only by finding a way for two people to deal with conflicts can we break the Cold War period, and marriage can develop towards benign development and spiritual exchange.
Before watching Chen Yu and Zhong Xiaoqin have a period of time after the cold war, Chen Yu himself was embarrassed to open his mouth, so he deliberately hung her bag high, so that the other party had no choice but to come to him, in fact, he could go down this step.
Of course, women can also use some small tricks, such as the things he usually needs to find you, you can hide, he will have to ask you, then don't be on top, you still have to come to me, but take the opportunity to ease the feelings of two people.
Some people will say, then why not he coax me, sometimes not everyone is good at this treatment, then it is controlled by the party who will adjust the atmosphere.
Because the relationship of marriage is actually positive interaction, when you talk well every day, do not accuse, the other party may not be aware of it at first, and one day he will perceive it, if he still wants to continue, he will slowly correct it.
As long as both people are slowly changing themselves, marriage has the possibility of improving.
If you do everything and the other person is still like this, then he may really not be suitable for you, and you can also consider the relationship between you.
END
Interpret emotional confusion, pay attention to marriage problems, and be willing to listen to your sorrow and happiness, along the way