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Miyazaki: "Don't make a mistake for love because of loneliness, and don't be lonely for a lifetime because of wrong love." ”
There are many similar situations with this sentence, some of them are wrong because of lack of money, some are wrong because of insecurity, and some are wrong because they are in a hurry to get married.
It is not that people who love for the reasons mentioned above will inevitably love the wrong person, but that people who love for the reasons mentioned above are often too impetuous, too anxious, too one-sided to consider the problem, just want to get rid of the current state of life, and do not think about whether their own practices can really get rid of the current state, whether they will fall into a worse state.
The following reader said that her brother-in-law's marriage, there is a situation of "wrong love", let's take a look at what is going on.
Hello Mr. Donglin:
Although the ugliness of the family cannot be publicized, I still want to talk about our family affairs, because those things have a great impact on me, and I hope that what I feel can help others.
Simply put, my brother-in-law got married and divorced, and their marriage was "broken up" by my mother. However, the person who should be blamed the most is not my mother, but my brother, because he is too scummy.
His scum was specifically rude to my sister-in-law, and he did not allow my sister-in-law to divorce him.
Further down, my sister-in-law is not completely without problems. Her biggest problem is that she got married because she was lonely.
I have had this thought of hers. Sometimes a person is in a bad mood, feels lonely, and sees others going in and out of the pair and feeling envious, and has the idea of wanting to get married. But I know that if you just find someone to marry for these reasons, it's hard to make sure you're happy.
My sister-in-law obviously did not think about it so much, she was in a hurry to get married, just met my brother, she took the initiative to send it to the door, my brother did not refuse, the two people just got married at once.
My brother didn't marry her before he was a scumbag, he's always been a scumbag. In other words, my sister-in-law didn't judge anything, didn't know anything about my brother, and married a scumbag directly, of course, life wouldn't be better.
My mother broke them up for two reasons: first, she was distressed about my sister-in-law, and she couldn't bear to see her make a mistake again and again, nor could she bear to see that she couldn't escape if she wanted to, and wanted to help her; second, she also considered my brother to some extent, in case one day he was too heavy and made a human life, his life would be completely ruined.
These things have affected my view of marriage and love, although I said earlier that I considered the problem of my sister-in-law comprehensively, but many things have not been experienced after all, and there are also places that cannot be considered.
For example, even if I don't marry because I am lonely like her, I should also spend more time judging from many aspects whether the current relationship is suitable for development into marriage. Because some scumbags may be better at disguise than my brother, if they don't spend much effort to judge, they are equally likely to be recruited.
In addition, whether the mother-in-law will stand on the woman's side for your sake is also a question that should be paid attention to. Although there may not be so many good mothers-in-law for you to choose under the sky, you can't preconceived that you will definitely meet a bad mother-in-law, what if you choose it? Do you want anything else to add?
Donglin Xiting Emotional Advice:
Without further ado, I'll give you a rough idea of my views on marriage.
When I came into contact with many married people, I found that almost everyone was dissatisfied with marriage. The most commonly heard mantra is: "I couldn't have married him if I had known him like this!" ”
The dissatisfaction among these people is what they value more. If they say, "If only they had known," they didn't know before marriage. Thus a paradox arises: what you value is not the basis for choosing marriage.
Some problems are really difficult to think about before marriage, and only after marriage do you realize that it is important. But many problems can be thought of before marriage, even if you can't think of it, ask people to consult, refer to other people's marriages, you can also combine yourself to list a lot of key issues.
This is a very important preparatory work, and if you can do this job well, you can more fully judge whether the person in front of you is worthy of your marriage. And if you are too lazy to do the preparation work, even if the other party has a problem, you can't see it, and you find out the wrong love after marriage, it may be too late.