When it comes to the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, everyone is not unfamiliar, and handling the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law may be the most distressing thing for married women.
In fact, when a woman is running a marriage, not only will the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law make the woman feel distressed, but also other relatives of the man, such as father-in-law, brothers and sisters, and even relatives.
As lu qi, an emotional expert, said: "When you marry, you are not married to a certain person, but to all the social relations of this person." So what kind of family you marry, what kind of marriage will you have. For example, in "Knowing or Not", after Wang's aunt got married, she did not meet an evil mother-in-law, but a superb sister-in-law. For the sake of her own selfishness, Aunt Kang tried her best to find trouble with her sister-in-law Wang's aunt, and she provoked the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in front of her mother, let her sister-in-law stand in the rules, and also interfered in the affairs of her brother-in-law's room, and wanted her brother to take the second room.
When Aunt Kang got married, she forcibly asked the mother of the wang aunt to send the son Guanyin for her daughter's three steps and one kowtow, for which the wang aunt could only endure the hatred and smile and offer it with both hands. After Aunt Kang got married, she acted recklessly outside, brutalized innocents, stabbed many baskets, and let her brother and sister-in-law contribute money, begging for people everywhere and cleaning up the mess for her.
In the end, Aunt Kang even instigated her daughter to poison her mother-in-law, endangering the life of Aunt Wang.
It is no better to meet such a vicious sister-in-law who constantly adds to her own blockage than to meet an evil mother-in-law. What's more, behind a vicious sister-in-law, it is often inseparable from a mother-in-law who does not understand things and does not help her relatives.
If it were not for the sister-in-law's mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law's mother-in-law who did not help the relatives and connived at the daughter's misdeeds, the sister-in-law would not have the courage to bully the sister-in-law.
There is a saying in the "Cai Gen Tan": If you take advantage of personnel, you will suffer the loss of the heavenly way; if you covet the nourishment of the taste of the world, you will attract the loss of sexual points.
Good has good to repay evil and evil, as a sister-in-law, I hope you remember that you must be kind to your sister-in-law or sister-in-law, not only for the sake of your mother-in-law after you get married, but also for the sake of your parents' later life. If you can't get along with your brother's concubine, it's your parents who are embarrassed.
"The reason why I am good to my sister-in-law is not for you and my brother?" Mom, why don't you understand? Ms. Lu helped her sister-in-law speak, resolving the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and the contradiction between husband and wife, but her mother complained that her elbow was turned outward, which made Ms. Lu feel angry and funny.
01.
Ms. Lu, 33 years old, married 7 years ago, she has an older brother, three years older than her, who married 9 years ago.
When the sister-in-law married in, Ms. Lu still lived at home, and the company was quite close to home, which was very convenient for commuting. It didn't take long for Ms. Lu to feel that her sister-in-law was somewhat repulsive to her and was eager to move out.
"At first, I was very angry and thought, this is my home, I am not married, can't I live?" My mother also sensed it, was very angry, and quarreled with my sister-in-law. Later, I thought about it, my sister-in-law is not easy, for love to marry my brother, as long as the 60,000 bride price, did not ask for a marriage room, do not want too many people in the family, can also be understood, so, I rented a house, took the initiative to move out. ”
Ms. Lu took the initiative to move away, but it made her sister-in-law feel very embarrassed, and her attitude towards her sister-in-law was much better, and she sent a bag to Ms. Lu to make reparations, and the two people have been in close contact.
"I often chat with my sister-in-law online, my sister-in-law and I have nothing to talk about, and the most complained about me is the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, complaining about my mother, I can understand this." 」
What kind of disposition her mother is, Ms. Lu knows it all too well, in her opinion, her mother is indeed not an easy mother-in-law to get along with, and her sister-in-law has indeed suffered a lot of grievances.
02.
First of all, her mother is a person with a strong desire to control, Ms. Lu's father only manages to make money regardless of anything else, the family's affairs are decided by Ms. Lu's mother, who has been giving orders for most of her life, and for a while and a half will be unwilling to transfer power to her daughter-in-law, and her sister-in-law feels that she is the hostess of the family, some things should be decided by herself, and the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will naturally have differences.
Secondly, Ms. Lu's mother is also a calf protector, and she can't see her children suffering a little, which is nothing. However, in order to make her son more comfortable, while not letting her son do housework, she always treats her daughter-in-law as a free nanny, can her sister-in-law endure?
In the end, Ms. Lu's mother was stubborn, could not listen to the advice, just take the matter of taking the grandson, she had to follow her own set of children, pampered the children, the sister-in-law hoped to cultivate the children to be independent, and the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law had a very serious conflict.
A year ago, the sister-in-law couldn't bear it and asked to move out, otherwise she would get a divorce, Ms. Lu's mother refused to give in, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law was tense. In desperation, Ms. Lu had to rush back to fight the fire.
"I scolded my brother, I thought he was in a bad bag, he couldn't reconcile the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and then, I asked my mother a question, that is, if I was bullied by my mother-in-law, what would she do, my mother also had a daughter, speechless, had to give in, let them move out of the family of 3, otherwise, my brother's marriage is afraid that it will be doomed." 」
The mother's family had been stable for a year, and then there was an accident, only because Ms. Lu's mother was sick and hospitalized and needed to be taken care of.
03.
Ms. Lu's mother was sick and hospitalized, needed to be cared for, and her first reaction was to find a daughter-in-law.
She not only hoped that her daughter-in-law would come to the hospital to take care of herself, but she also did not want her daughter-in-law to resign, lose her financial resources, and cause great pressure on her son, so she asked her daughter-in-law to go to work normally, and immediately came to the hospital to take care of herself after work.
"What? After ten hours of work, rush to the hospital to wait for you, and then go to work? Mom, how did you come up with it? You and I are machines, you can run non-stop for twenty-four hours, without resting? Why don't you go to your son and let him do it? ”
The sister-in-law was angry and corrupt, and also said the words "it is not that ten years of cerebral thrombosis can not think of such an idea", which made Ms. Lu's mother angry, scolded her daughter-in-law for not filial piety, and made trouble in the hospital.
When Ms. Lu's brother saw the situation, he also scolded his wife for not understanding things and asked her wife to apologize to her mother, so the couple also quarreled.
After the mother was hospitalized, the sister-in-law quarreled, and after Ms. Lu knew, she felt very speechless and made proper arrangements: "In this way, please ask the nurse to serve the mother, the nurse fee is two AA, and the sister-in-law can often look at it when she has time." ”
"I reasoned with my mother and told her that filial piety is my obligation to my brother, only because I and my brother are her own children, my sister-in-law is not, there is no obligation, let her stop tossing, and then toss, they will really divorce, even if not divorced, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is over, what should she do when she is old? However, I don't think my mother can listen. ”
Ms. Lu felt helpless, and could only give a sum of money as a heart, as for what would happen to her mother's family, they asked for more blessings!
04.
Psychologist John Gottman said in "Happy Marriage" that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is wrong, and the husband must stand with his wife. Instead of staying neutral and just being a good old man.
Take the situation of Ms. Lu's mother's family, the reason why Ms. Lu's mother and sister-in-law have a bad relationship with their mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not only because her mother is always unreasonable and treats her daughter-in-law as an outsider, but also because her brother is not a man who can carry it clearly.
If the man can carry it clearly, resolutely stop it when the mother is unreasonable and bully the daughter-in-law at the beginning, and maintain a front with the daughter-in-law, there will not be so many things.
If men can't figure it out, marriage is difficult to develop for a long time. Like Ms. Lu's brother-in-law, their marriage has long been crumbling.
END.
Today's topic: Do you think Ms. Lu's brother-in-law's marriage can last to the end? Feel free to share your views in the comments section.