Women who are easy to attract "scumbags" mostly have three characteristics, how many have you hit?

Text/Du Yanxin Source: Simple Psychology (xinli01)

Have you ever heard of "sucking slag physique"?

Some women, obviously their own conditions are not bad, and even very good, but as soon as they fall into feelings, they become "love brains".

The people who have been in contact with each other are either cheating money and feelings, or cheating on domestic violence.

Why do some people easily become "scumbag harvesters"?

In fact, these 3 characteristics of their bodies determine that they are more likely to attract scumbags and fall in love with scumbags.

-01-

Lack of love since childhood

There is always a "sense of unworthiness"

People who lack love since childhood are very sensitive to the "overtures" of others.

They rarely get attention in their original families, so they feel too bad in their bones to deserve anyone's love.

Once someone expresses love for them, they are very wary:

Either you feel that you are not good enough to be worthy of others to be good to you, or you feel that others will deliberately approach you for a certain benefit.

People in this anxiety often fall into an extreme:

Once you unload your guard and choose to trust each other, you will treat each other like a "life-saving straw", love each other unrestrainedly, and even pay for him.

In their eyes, this is a manifestation of their love for each other, but in the eyes of scumbags, this becomes a chip for them to cheat, because they know that no matter how much they have done something out of the ordinary, the other party will forgive themselves.

Over time, people who lack love are injured again and again, and finally abandoned by scumbags.

The protagonist Matsuko in "The Life of the Abandoned Pine Nuts" is a typical example.

When she was a child, her parents gave all their love to their sister and ignored her, causing her to be extremely short of love.

When she meets a man, even if it is only a little bit of kindness to her, even this good is purposeful, she will desperately grasp it.

As for the nature of the other party, she does not care, as long as she likes her and needs her, she is willing to sacrifice everything she has to please the other party.

Even if she knows that the other party is not good enough, she will not leave, because she feels that she is not worthy of a good man, and someone who likes herself should be satisfied.

What is even more painful is that a person who lacks love, even if he finds that the other party does not love him at all, it is difficult to say that he is broken, and even after the scumbag proposes to break up, he still tries his best to save it.

Why is that?

In psychology, there is a concept called "compulsive repetition", which means that a person experiences some kind of trauma in childhood, and when he becomes an adult, he will unconsciously repeat this trauma.

For people who lack love, "not getting love" is the shadow left by childhood, when scumbags expose their indifferent and selfish side, let them recall the feeling of being snubbed and ignored when they were young, they will subconsciously feel that this is an opportunity to get out of the shadow of childhood.

As long as you try to please each other, let the other party see their own value, and fall in love with themselves again, you can escape the shadow of childhood, but in fact, it will only make them fall into a deeper abyss.

-02-

Only use "ears" to fall in love

There is a phrase in English called "Action speaks louder than words", which means that actions speak louder than words, and facts speak louder than words.

Actions can best prove sincerity, but some women like to use their "ears" to fall in love, thinking that talking freely and making themselves happy is true love.

A few days ago, a reader found a companion, she said: "You know, my boyfriend cheated 3 times, I forgave him 3 times, and finally he broke up with me." ”

When the two were first together, the feelings were very sweet, she was sullen, the other party would coax her to be happy, she was in a bad mood, the other party would comfort and encourage her, and say a lot of good love words.

Especially the boyfriend's "I've never met a girl like you" made her feel like she had found true love.

Until, on the other person's phone, I saw him say the same thing to another, another, and another girl.

Under her questioning, the boyfriend said the same thing every time, explaining: "I just played with her, and I am sincere with you." If you don't believe me, I'll delete her right away. ”

Seeing that her boyfriend's attitude of admitting mistakes is sincere, and there are feelings for each other, she has chosen to forgive again and again, but she has not dispelled the doubts in her heart.

Sure enough, it wasn't long before the same drama was staged again.

In the end, the scumbag couldn't continue acting, and yelled at her: "If you are not attractive enough, how can I cheat?" ”

Only then did she wake up, and it turned out that she had been soaking in the sweet sugar jar, lost her mind, and fell into the trap of the scumbag.

There is a saying on the Internet: "A woman in love has an IQ of zero." ”

I would say that women who only use their "ears" to fall in love are the most likely to be cheated on by scumbags.

A few sweet words make them obedient to men, foolishly believe each other's commitments, and immerse themselves in the fantasy of love.

When the scumbag exposes his true face, they see the reality clearly and find that the other party is just playing with feelings with routines and has never truly loved you.

-03-

Have a "Savior Complex"

Think you can change others

If a woman who lacks love is not confident, then a woman with a savior complex is too confident.

They often think that they can make the prodigal son turn back and make the scumbag conform.

But in fact, they are pushing themselves into the abyss step by step.

I have seen a girl who wants to save the scumbag.

The boyfriend has no serious job, likes to gamble, betrays her five times, and it is reasonable to say that few such partners can stand it.

But she tolerated him again and again, made money to help him pay off his debts, forgave his cheating, and took care of him in every way.

She felt that her boyfriend was completely inseparable from her, and the most common thing she said to him was: "What can you do without me?" ”

Why does the "savior complex" make a person so persistent that he would rather be hurt than let go?

In the end, it is because they overestimate themselves and always think that they can influence others.

They think that scumbags have experienced an unfortunate childhood, or have been hurt by feelings, and they have become what they are now, as long as they give them enough warmth and good enough for them, they can heal their inner wounds.

For example, meticulous care, unencumbered companionship, and tireless care may make scumbags change from evil to righteousness and live a good life with themselves.

Even if this companionship has to pay a great price, they are willing, and even feel that the more they pay, the easier it is for the scumbag to be touched by love and change their minds earlier.

But for scumbags, having a woman who does everything to please herself and be dead set on the ground will only increase their sense of superiority and become more unscrupulous.

Until you are tired of women's excessive efforts and bored with their repeated tolerance, you will leave without looking back, looking for freshness.

It is said that feelings are a gamble, and they are frequently slagged because they are gambled on the wrong people.

And people who are transparent and sober, understand that they are the most reliable, bet on themselves, and will not be hurt by others.

Remember that feelings are not the whole of life, and if you love someone again, don't lose yourself, and don't waste feelings for the wrong person.

Love yourself well, stay sane and sober, in order to meet the right person and become a better self.

- END -

*Image source: petal net, sugar net

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