Zhuang Di Xiaomeng / Seeing the essence through the story
An original emotion number that deserves your attention
Illustration/from the web
Recently, I received a private message from a netizen who told me about something that left her speechless.
She is 27 years old this year, saying that it is not big or small, but it is indeed the age to talk about marriage.
Her parents and relatives were in a hurry and kept urging her to find someone.
And about the marriage urging, everyone knows very well, the more urged the more easy to produce rebellious psychology, slowly she began to resentful to find a partner, but parents and relatives took turns to pressure, she was in pain, felt that everyone did not understand her.
Fortunately, there is a girlfriend who has always been on her side, and instead of urging her, she describes many of the benefits of being single.
"What kind of marriage?" How good it is to be free alone, and you see how happy I am in a day. These are the words that girlfriends often hang on their lips.
Her girlfriend is three years older than her, and it is reasonable to say that girls should be quite anxious about marriage events when they reach the age of 30, but she always looks unhurried.
With the support of her girlfriend, she is even less interested in getting married, and even the blind date arranged by her parents, she deliberately shirks it.
Just when she was enjoying the single life wholeheartedly, her girlfriend suddenly got married.
Yes, the girlfriend who claims to be single is planning to get a license next month.
She indignantly asked her girlfriend: "Say you are single together, how did you become a traitor?" ”
The girlfriend looked aggrieved: "I don't want to, but my parents have to introduce me to the object, I can only compromise." ”
If what the girlfriend said was true, she was not angry, and what made her most angry was that she learned from another friend that the girlfriend met her current husband after a dozen blind dates.
At this time, she found that her girlfriend had never planned to be single from the beginning, and it was only she who had been kept in the dark from beginning to end.
First, the "don't want to get married" in the mouth of an older woman does not have to be taken seriously
With the development and progress of society, the age of marriage of young people is also increasing, so there are some older men and women in life who are over 30 years old but still single.
This is not a rare thing, after all, marriage is not to buy vegetables, can not be casually made up, a person has not met the right object, delay in stepping into the palace of marriage can be understood.
It's just that in real life, many older single women are reluctant to admit that they are single because they have not yet found a suitable other half, and they always emphasize that they are single because they do not want to get married at all.
But in the end, everyone will find that those single women who say they don't want to get married have slowly stepped into the palace of marriage.
It is also understandable that an older single woman uses "do not want to get married" to respond to other people's inquiries, one is to avoid trouble, this is her own business, saying more is easy to lead to trouble, so it is wise to end the topic in one sentence.
The second is to avoid embarrassment, as far as the current state of life is concerned, a girl is not married until she is 30 years old, it is indeed easy to become the talk of others after dinner, in order to avoid embarrassment, simply say that they do not want to get married, so as not to let others guess out of thin air.
Their answers were not heartfelt, but to avoid a series of questions.
So everyone does not have to take it seriously, she is single because she has not yet met the right person, and when she meets, she will naturally get married.
Second, there are often ulterior motives behind girlfriends persuading you to be single
Your girlfriend advises you to be single, not because she really thinks it's good to be single, but because she's afraid of being single.
Also at the age when they should talk about marriage, but have always been single, everyone will be a little embarrassed and will also bear a lot of pressure.
Watching the friends and classmates around them step out of the marriage hall one by one, their single state has become an embarrassing existence.
Fortunately, with you with her, she will not appear particularly lonely, if asked, she can also use you as a shield, after all, she is not the only one who is single.
But if you quickly get off the list, then all that's left is her, in order to avoid such a thing, she will use her own way to prevent you from getting off the list, such as instilling in you the benefits of being single, and advising you not to get married.
At this time, the girlfriend relationship has become worthless, and you are not a friend to her, but a shield.
Third, there is a kind of bad, called "persuade others not to get married"
People who are really good for you in real life will not advise you not to get married, because everyone knows that people are social animals, and people need companionship and need to plan ahead.
01 Kind people do not interfere in other people's lives
Single people advise you not to get married because they are also single, and they know that single people are easy to target, so they are always trying to do everything they can to grow their ranks.
In the final analysis, this is a kind of psychology that does not live well for oneself and does not want others to be better.
If you are married and have children who advise you to be single, then be even more careful.
Normal people know that people are different from each other, some people are unhappy in marriage, but there are also people who are happy and happy.
Even if they are not having a good life, they should not advise you to be single, because the probability of marriage being happy or not is half the time, and if you do not step into the palace of marriage, it is equivalent to you directly giving up the opportunity to be happy.
Maybe they're having a bad time now, but decades from now you'll be worse off than they are because they have kids to lean on and you have nothing.
If he's having a good life and has a partner and children, but still advises you not to get married, it proves that he's hurting you.
02 It is better to demolish ten temples than to destroy a marriage
The ancients attached great importance to marriage, and they felt that the breaking of marriage was a particularly immoral thing, and in fact it was true.
People who have experienced a long time know that when people are old and weak, they need their families to rely on.
People who take bad examples to create panic are reprehensible, and everything they say and do is to keep you out of the house.
As for what to do when you get old in the future? Who cares if you're sick? They simply won't be responsible.
As an adult, everyone should think about their own lives, rather than always listen to the opinions of others.
Whether others marry or not is their business, and whether you marry or not is your own business.
Do you feel that your parents love you more, or do the so-called girlfriends love you more?
Who in this world is really wholeheartedly for your own good?