Unfounded, mediocre self-disturbing. This sentence is to persuade us not to think wildly, nothing to do, and relax our hearts.
I understand the reasoning, but I can't do it without thinking blindly or messing around. My whimsical personality probably has a lot to do with my original family.
As soon as I was born, because my father was injured in the mine, I was almost given to someone else, but my grandmother saw that I was chubby and cute, took pity on me, and adopted me.
Although my grandparents hurt me to the bone, my entire childhood lacked the company of my father's love and mother's love. When I was born in the 80s, our family was not well-off, and it was very difficult for my parents to come to my grandmother's house to visit me.
I don't blame my parents for cutting me off, but because of the lack of father's love and mother's love, I have been insecure since I was a child, sensitive and fragile in my mind since I was a child, and I did not dare to come out from a young age, and I also lacked self-confidence from an early age.
It's still the same when I grow up. Especially since my father and grandfather left me one after another, I have become more afraid, more sensitive and vulnerable.
What am I afraid of? I was afraid of death, of losing a loved one, of losing a relationship, of sudden accidents, of getting hurt, of all that bad things were happening, and although they hadn't happened yet, I would think of them from time to time and become frightened, like a bird of fright, and whenever I heard the sound of the bowstring, I was terrified.
In my junior year, I was in a relationship, and because of my insecurity, I became very good in this relationship. I don't allow my boyfriend to leave me half a step, I have to hold my hand when I walk, I have to answer the phone immediately, the message must be returned immediately...
If he doesn't do it, I'll panic, I'll wonder if he's changed his mind, and when I see him passing by other members of the opposite sex, I'll mess with them about their unusual relationship, and then I'll throw a tantrum at him without reason.
In less than half a year, he couldn't stand my neuroticism, couldn't stand my wild speculations, and broke up with me. He was liberated, and I was not healed for half a minute.
After my grandfather's death, my biggest fear was to lose my grandmother again. The two of them are the ones who love me the most in the world, and I can't stand losing them.
So whenever I called my mother, I would ask my grandmother about her, and when I heard that she was well, I would feel a little more at ease; if I heard that she was uncomfortable, I would be worried and afraid.
I was afraid that I would suddenly receive a call from home on the 100th, because every time I called home, it was put on a Sunday night, and if I received a call from home from Monday to Saturday, especially during the day, I would be very panicked, and I would immediately think that something bad had happened, and the hand that answered the phone was shaking uncontrollably, and even the voice was shaking. I don't breathe a sigh of relief until I hear it's okay.
People like me who are cranky, living very tired, I do not like to think wildly, but uncontrollably want to think wildly, every day in the heart is not steady, after thinking about it, it is even more uneasy.
Nothing has happened yet, and the probability of imagining those things happening is very small, and I can't help but think about it and scare myself.
Now it's better, I will consciously stop myself from thinking wildly when I can't help but fall into cranky thoughts, constantly comfort myself, grasp the moment, cherish every minute and second of the moment, think of what can't happen, even if it happens, don't be afraid, just face it hard.
The only person who can save you is yourself. I am insecure, then I don't want to be safe, loss is also a common thing in life, just accept to face, fear and fear will not help.
Whenever I want to think wildly, I will get busy, even if I read a page of the book, even if it drags the ground, consciously pulling myself back from the wild thoughts, and I can't let it develop.
Ma Zhe, a teacher at my university, once said: If you think about good things every day, the magnetic field around you will become very good, then your luck will be good, and many things will come true.
If you think about some bad things every day, thinking too much will not only damage your body and mind, but also affect your luck, then things that originally existed only in your imagination may happen.
So, people who have a similar situation with me, quickly stop thinking wildly, even if you think, please think more about some good things. People should live in the present, live in reality, and do not let your imagination affect your normal life.
Another point is that the sense of security is really not given by others, it is given to yourself. Whether you have the confidence or not, you can give yourself a sense of security.
Live with nature, I am fortunate, I am lost. Not to be happy with things, not to be sad with oneself, to face everything calmly, whether it is death or loss, it is a common thing, there is nothing to be afraid of.
Spend your whimsical time reading more, walking more, seeing the world more, working harder, and you'll find that you have more than you lose. There is really no need to worry about the world and disturb the mediocre.