Picture: Heap sugar (invasion and deletion) Text: Little Dream
【Night Dream Talk, Little Dream Listening】: The whole network has the same name, welcome to pay attention, reprint please authorize, plagiarism must be investigated! Looking forward to your story.
I saw a picture on the Internet of a long queue at a marriage registration office somewhere on the seventh day of the first year.
However, the people in line did not come to register the marriage, but to apply for divorce.
For them, the implementation of the cooling-off period for divorce did not save their precarious marriage, but strengthened their confidence in divorce.
The vast majority of people in the queue have a concept: "I don't want to see the other person's face in my life, and even being with him for one more minute is a kind of torture for me." “
1. Why does marriage not look the same as I thought?
I heard the story of a friend who went through the divorce with his partner some time ago, but in fact, until the moment he walked out of the marriage registry, he couldn't understand why he had come to this step.
The friend is a sales job, which means that he has a lot of time and can't stay at home, and needs to run around the country, so the burden of the family is on his wife.
Not long after the two were married, the wife chose to change to a relatively easy job in order to take care of the family. At first, he was also very grateful for this.
At the beginning, the husband and wife got along harmoniously, because friends often traveled on business, and the couple did not spend much time together. Therefore, I will be more considerate of each other.
But as time goes on, the busier the friend's work becomes, and the less time he has to come back, the heavier the burden on his wife. The couple's quarrel finally broke out.
Especially once, when their child had a fever and needed to go to the hospital, the last shred of his wife's sanity collapsed when the family's car broke down and there was no way to get a taxi everywhere.
A friend once said: "Sometimes, there is nothing wrong with your union, but when you combine, you also make a mistake." “
Obviously, they had all tried their best for their families, but in the end, because reality had broken the last thread of reason, they ended up with a two-shot result.
2. Do you want a lot?
Gottman said in Happy Marriage: "Why do we want to marry someone? Because of the money? Because of the room? Because of appearance? Neither. Because of the details. “
Many times, in fact, what is needed in a marriage is the things that people easily ignore and feel that are not important.
He once saw a gentleman's Weibo, he said that one day he heard his wife complain that the bath ball flowers at home were broken, and when he went to buy spices, he bought one for his wife.
When my wife took a bath at night, she saw the new bath ball flower, and she was very happy for the next few days, and even sent a circle of friends to show off this bath ball.
Is this bath ball flower expensive? It's not expensive at all, but it's just a few bucks. What makes a wife happy is the way she sees her husband and puts herself in her heart.
More often, in fact, every person who is deeply in love does not want much, they know the economic income of their lover, and they do not want them to eat instant noodles for themselves for several months.
But, hopefully at least you're taking me to heart. The phrase "I love you" is not just a lip service, but also expressed in your actions.
Like the fairy tale when she was a child, the wife sold her hair and bought a watch for her husband; the husband sold his pocket watch and bought his wife a head flower.
They are not rich, even poor. However, even in such a poor life, their hearts are still the shadow of each other, and they know that that person is going to accompany them for a lifetime.
3. Our separation is something that has been planned for a long time
In fact, many times, there are many reasons that can lead to the breakdown of a marriage, but most of them are not decisions on a whim.
Once, we held each other's hands and made a promise in front of friends and family that we would love each other for the rest of our lives. However, the life after that was not what I imagined.
Men began to dislike women for not knowing how to dress themselves, hating them for spending money indiscriminately, and even obviously taking off each other's wings in the name of love, and blaming each other for not being sensible enough.
And women, the perfect man who once had a heart, have long since disappeared, they have never fulfilled their promises, which makes many people feel stressed.
I once heard a saying: "For a long time, there will be bumps and bumps, but, in the same way, it also needs to be mended." ”
Modern people, more often, do not want to sew up a long-lasting relationship, but they have obviously worked hard, but with little effect.
Any period of disappointment is the result of accumulation over time. It is after your perfunctory and complaining, it is after your disappearance and betrayal again and again, and it disappears.
Maybe I've really conceived a lot about our bright future. But at the moment, I just want to leave you and get back to a life that was just me.
At least, I won't betray myself, and I won't make myself sad again and again.
4. How exactly do you see us
In fact, in the final analysis, any marriage needs not only temporary love, but also long-term mutual tolerance, understanding and care.
Home was founded because we all stretched out a hand to hold up this little haven that belonged to us.
Instead of a give, a take. That kind of love, no matter how strong, will always have a day of collapse.
Remember, if you choose, be loyal and love. If you give up, please delete the past without regrets.
Above all, I wish you a good dream and good night.