1, the first time I slept with my boyfriend, I hid in the bed and did not dare to come out. My boyfriend saw that I was unwilling and embarrassed to force me, so we fell asleep at a long distance

1, the first time I slept with my boyfriend, I hid in the bed and did not dare to come out. My boyfriend saw that I was unwilling and embarrassed to force me, so we fell asleep at a long distance. At night, suddenly the boyfriend said that this life is so short. At that time, I slipped into his arms and asked him shyly: Have you ever fought for anyone? As a result, the boyfriend came to say: My stomach has been frozen for an hour, and I don't cover the quilt anymore, and I guess I really have diarrhea.

2, I have been staying up late for two consecutive days, and if I don't sleep, I feel that I will die suddenly, and I will go to sleep after a simple washing. Just lying down in bed, my boyfriend called me, I suppressed my anger and answered the phone, my boyfriend said: I failed baby, I have nothing, I want to fight again, do you support me? I sighed and said: I said that no matter what decision you make, I will support you, come on! Just listen to the boyfriend touched and say: Baby you are so good, boss, two more scratch music!

3. The good brother relies on the hacker over-the-wall skills he has trained since childhood, and has a smooth life in Alibaba Company. I had heard that my buddy was going to be promoted, but suddenly he was dismissed. It turned out that the brothers lost their mobile phones when they were on the bus that day, and after the well-wishers picked it up, they found the person marked as their son in the mobile phone address book and called to inquire. In the afternoon, the owner of the company called my friend to the office, very kindly asked him to sit down, and then picked up the mobile phone and smashed it in his face.

4. Today, it was my brother who went to my father-in-law's house once, and when I was chatting with my husband, my girlfriend came over and called: Dad. Then I and my husband responded at the same time, and the situation was suddenly a little awkward! Then I smiled and said to the old man: Uncle, I just went bald. Then the old man said: Don't shout uncle, we are the same generation, you still call my brother! You see your daughter, I have been raising for more than 20 years, and the bride price is not much to add 200,000!

5. My brother usually pays special attention to his body, and every other month he will go to the hospital to do a full-body physical examination. On this day, during the physical examination, the brother saw a very beautiful nurse girl. It's just that the buddies fell at a glance, but because it's a hospital, it's not easy to talk. Suddenly, he had a clever move, and when he passed by the nurse girl, he deliberately threw his bulging wallet on the ground. Then he walked away without looking back, and after a while, he deliberately ran over in a hurry to find it. The nurse girl looked at the brothers with disgust and said: I saw you throw it at my feet, I thought you didn't want it, and Threw the trash can!

6. This morning, I took my son to the street to buy fruit, and there was a fruit stall opened by my classmates. My classmates were very happy to see me, and asked my son to grab a handful of strawberries to eat, but my son hesitated and did not move. Classmate asked: Don't you like to eat strawberries? Son: Loves to eat. So, without saying a word, the classmate grabbed a handful of strawberries and stuffed them into his son's pocket. On the way home, I asked my son curiously: When your uncle asked you to take strawberries just now, why didn't you take them? The son stretched out his palm and grabbed a hand full of strawberries: Look, my hand is smaller than his.

7. Thirty years ago, the matchmaker took someone to the house next door for a blind date, and just happened to pass by in front of my house. At that time, Dad was preparing to kill the pig, and the big pig broke free and ran, just past the girl's crotch. The girl, dressed in a skirt, was carried upside down on the pig's back, grabbed the pig's tail with both hands and screamed loudly. Then the big pig was blindfolded by the skirt and drove the girl into the bedroom in a panic and threw the girl directly into the bed. In the end, the girl became my mother!

8, the company's secretary is very beautiful, and later was looked at by the boss's son who had just returned to China, and it was a fierce chase. The female secretary disagreed, and then was forced to be anxious, and used me as a shield! As a result, I was fired on the same day, and I was paid 3 years more on the card. In addition to the joy in my heart, I also feel ashamed of it! Alas, I really wanted to tell him the truth: "Brother, actually, that girl is not my girlfriend, she is your father's!" ”

9, two days ago after the move set up a wireless network, after moving home when I returned home, found the wireless router posted: "wireless password: 1234567" Then he asked his wife: "What if this password is so simple that the neighbor can guess it after searching for it?" The wife said with a disdainful face: "Guess? Let them guess, exhausted they can't guess, and so is the colon in front of me! "My wife's heart can't help but make me shiver...?

10. When I was in college, I liked the school flowers at that time, but I was timid and inferior at that time, and I did not confess. Ten years later, driving a Maybach S680, it was also very powerful. Classmates gathered, thought about going to talk to school flowers, wanted to see if there was a chance. After chatting, a child came over and pulled on the school flower's clothes and said, "Mom, I want to go home!" At that time, his face was green, and after a while, I talked about the goddess with another student and asked him: "Which piece of cow dung was the school flower planted on, and which pig arched?" Then the child came over and tugged at the classmate's clothes and said, "Daddy, Mommy let you go!"

11, the ex-husband can't stand my fox smell, followed my good girlfriend eloped. I had a shadow in my heart, single for five years without a boyfriend. This year, my mother gave me a final notice that I would not be allowed to go home if I did not find the object. So I spent 5,000 yuan to let the assistant pretend to be a boyfriend for half a month. A week later, he offered to talk to me about wanting to be my real boyfriend, and I wondered why. He said: In the company, you are my boss always yelling at me, I didn't expect you to be so gentle with me at home, your parents still gave me so many gifts, I don't want to return to you, so I want to seriously try to associate with you.?

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #