1, a rich man from India came to China to travel, got off the plane and booked a ticket back to India on the way to the hotel, and quietly left China without playing. After returning to India, the rich father was strange

1, a rich man from India came to China to travel, got off the plane and booked a ticket back to India on the way to the hotel, and quietly left China without playing. After returning to India, the rich father asked his son strangely: "How did you come back when you first arrived in China?!" The son said with some trepidation: "It's not good, China is going to attack the mainland, the streets and alleys are posted with slogans, writing "print", "laser printing", "fast printing", door-to-door printing, 3D printing." If I hadn't run so fast, I'm afraid I wouldn't have seen you!" Father said: Thanks to the fact that you have learned a little Chinese before, thank you!

2. After the female president was betrayed by her ex-husband who had been married for 20 years, she has never looked for a boyfriend again. And I like mature women, confessing to the female president many times, but she has no feelings for me. Also gave me the nickname "pig head" No way, who let me grow fat head and big ears, can only endure! Then it was February 2, and I said to her, "What's going to eat on February 2nd?" The president: "Eat a pig's head?" I leaned close to her: "Come! Lick my face and let you taste it! The female president's face immediately turned red.

3, the old man has nothing to like fishing, today he came to borrow my Land Rover to go to the nearby reservoir. When he came back at night to return the car, the old man complained: How do you buy this kind of car, it is beautiful, it is too slow to run, even 40 can not get on! I was surprised and asked: How did you open it? The road car is broken? Old man: How else can I open it, that is, I can't get up when I step on the accelerator. I said: You should not be used as an automatic gear, my car is manual. The old man looked at me doubtfully after listening: What is a manual file?

4, buddy is a particularly powerful programmer, some time ago was dug up by other companies with a monthly salary of 100,000 yuan. On this day, the boss suddenly talked to him: "Xiao Wang, you have been coming to the company for a few months, and your performance is still good, but recently many colleagues have reflected to me that there is a problem with your tone of speech, and I hope you will correct it." The buddy nodded and returned to his seat, thinking that he had always been cautious in the company, which would offend people! Is this the workplace? The post-90s generation is so unpopular? The more the buddies thought about it, the more aggrieved they became, and they peeled the garlic and chewed it up.

5, I was about to talk, the female colleague came over and pulled me away, whispered: "Brother, what ideas do you come to me, don't tell the child, he is still young, he doesn't understand anything!" "I'm speechless, just nawa still says she doesn't understand anything?" The female colleague said: "Brother, I tell you the truth, although we have a good relationship, you are still not qualified to be the father of the child." I wondered, "Why?" The female colleague said: "I think well, this time to find a partner, I have to find a friend for the child." You're a little older, and there's a generation gap with my kids? "I went, I was only 22 years old, she was 35 years old, still think I'm older? Is it a deliberate excuse?

6. The little nephew who is in elementary school owes his classmates 10 yuan, so he stole his grandfather's night pot to offset it. The little nephew said: "This is an antique, the Qing Dynasty is very valuable, you accept us two Qing!" Later, the little nephew always felt guilty, and many years later, when the classmates met him at the party, they plucked up enough courage to apologize to him! The buddy drunkenly said: "What a big deal, I already knew that it was a lie to me, how could that pot be from the Qing Dynasty, it was from the Tang Dynasty, since my father sold 1800000, I decided that the 10 yuan was not wanted!" ”

7. I just left the door of the company after work, and a girl suddenly stopped me. Then he told me that he had a crush on me for a long time and had to let me be her boyfriend! But her looks were so ugly that I simply rejected her and stopped a taxi to let her go. She blushed and said no, she had her own car, and after saying that she took out her keys and walked to a red Maserati on the side. I couldn't see the woman shed tears the most, and rushed to catch up with her to wrap her up... Alas, no way, the heart is too soft is the hard wound I have drunk in my life!

8, with my father's credit card to a beautiful anchor swiped 2 million, she agreed to be my girlfriend. I asked her out last night and asked her: Do you do housework? She nodded, then said, "Yes!" I said: I don't believe it, let's go to the hotel and I'll see if you will fold the quilt. I didn't expect her to refuse to die, and the lie was instantly debunked by me, and I really admired my wit!

9. The brother-in-law is a game ashes level player! One day the brother-in-law went for a walk in the park and heard the two uncles chatting. A great uncle asked, "How old are you this year?" The other uncle said, "I'm ninety-five!" The brother-in-law's brain twitched and said, "Uncle, you are full of grades!" The great master slowly and leisurely said, "Yes, do you want me to take you to the abyss?" ”?

10. After the demolition of the courtyard of my father-in-law's family, my cousin and I lived next door, and the sound insulation was particularly bad. Yesterday, I heard my cousin and siblings arguing. I think this is a matter of people's small two people who are not good to participate in, it is up to them. Unexpectedly, the younger sister said in a huff: We will go to divorce in the afternoon! The cousin is angry: leave and leave! Call me at 3 o'clock. At 3 o'clock, the little nephew came to me crying: Uncle, my father beat me. I asked: Why? I'll clean him up for you. The little nephew said grievously: "I asked my father to get up in the afternoon to go to divorce, and he beat me without saying a word."

11. When my cousin played the God of War, she met a big god who played with the god monkey very strongly. He often did tasks with his cousin, and over time they fell in love online. Last night my cousin sent him a message and didn't reply to me, and my cousin was a little angry. This morning, he and his cousin explained: Baby, I'm really sorry, I was too tired after a day of work last night, and I slept without taking a bath. Cousin said: This time I will forgive you, the next time is not an example, do you know what to do next time? Boyfriend: Of course, next time I take a shower and go to sleep.

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #