At the end of last year, I bought a house, borrowed all my relatives and friends, and there was a difference of 50,000, just when I was at a loss, the female colleague in the office lent me and promised to pay her back within a year. Today sent a bonus, I will

At the end of last year, I bought a house, borrowed all my relatives and friends, and there was a difference of 50,000, just when I was at a loss, the female colleague in the office lent me and promised to pay her back within a year. Today sent a bonus, I added 5000 interest to pay her back, she insisted on no interest, Alipay turned back, said: "Interest does not charge you, you help me a favor, can you?" I was already embarrassed, and quickly agreed: "No problem, as long as I can do it, you can mention it." Female colleague: "You can absolutely do it, then you are not allowed to regret it." I only bought a station ticket for the New Year, and Chinese New Year's Eve you will drive me back to my hometown that day." "Oh my God, her request is a bit embarrassing to me, her hometown is 800 kilometers away from my home, send her back to that I can't Chinese New Year's Eve food, and then Chinese New Year's Eve that day my hometown also introduced a girl waiting for me to go back to the blind date." I thought about it: "This is a bit difficult, why don't you change it?" "She's angry now, saying I don't count what I say, what should I do?"

2. Don't look at your cousin like a cute girl, in fact, her profession is a forensic doctor. The other day we went out to dinner together, and my cousin and the hostess quarreled over a small matter. It is estimated that the cousin is a good bully, and the boss lady took out a pig intestine from the back kitchen and threw it on the cousin. Who knew that the cousin was not only not afraid, but also calmly took out a skull from the bag. At this time, not only the hostess was scared, but the other diners were also scared away!

3. I made a girlfriend when I was in college at Tsinghua University, and who knew that after graduation, she actually ran away with a rich man in her 50s, and I was really heartbroken. Two days ago, a brother introduced me to a girlfriend, we are very happy together, but I did not expect to suddenly receive a call from my ex-girlfriend yesterday. At that time she cried and said to me that the man had abandoned her, and now she thinks of my good and wants to get back together. After I listened, I was very angry and resolutely rejected her, and she cried and made trouble, saying that now it was only me, and if I didn't agree, I would kill myself. Now the question is, would I go in a suit or sportswear on the day of her funeral?

4. My cousin has been single for many years, and finally ushered in his love this year, and even met a girlfriend who was a flight attendant. The cousin and his girlfriend entered the palace of marriage, and the two people were happy and gave birth to a cute and handsome little nephew, which was really enviable. Last night, my cousin was getting ready to go to bed, and just when he went up to the window, he woke up his sister-in-law and said: Last night my son peed on the window, and asked you to take out the quilt in the morning to dry. Sister-in-law: Yeah, I'm sunbathing... The cousin felt very strange, obviously the weather is so good, why is the quilt not dried? Just ask the sister-in-law where to dry? Sister-in-law: Oh, put it in the circle of friends!

5. My brother's girlfriend ran away with a rich man, and my brother was devastated. After I told my wife about this, I asked her, "Honey, do you like me?" Or do you like a lot of money? The wife smiled and said, "I like that you make a lot of money." "Yes, it was obviously a multiple-choice question, but it was turned into a fill-in-the-blank question by her."

6. Yesterday my wife and I took my young son out for a walk, and I stopped by the supermarket downstairs to buy something. When it was time to check out, my son took a lollipop from the cash register and gave it to the cashier and asked her to help count it. The waiter said, "Forget it." I immediately said to my son, "Quick, thank you, aunt!" My wife pinched me and said, "People have already counted lollipops." ”

7. My boyfriend and I have known each other for 8 months, and now we have been living together for seven and a half months, and the time has passed quickly! Today the two of us have been certified, and my husband's face is proud: after receiving the certificate, I finally have to turn over and be the master, and I am not afraid that you will run! I laughed and said, "Then why are you still cutting vegetables here?" He replied to me in a more dragging tone: Hum! I cook whatever I want!

8. After work, I went to the female neighbor's house to rub rice, and I just met her at home to take a bath. She was a very conservative woman, and I had to be held accountable to her, so I had to marry her as a wife. After marriage, at home, I have the final say, I say a wife does not dare to say two, I say to the east wife does not dare to go west. If I dare to object, I will go up and slap it, and my wife will talk to me on her knees every day. My wife also promised that as long as I finished the housework and handed in my salary, she would allow me to blow the cow for 5 minutes. Say nothing more, the time is coming soon.

  #Funny# #搞笑段子 #