The good brother bought a laptop with a high configuration, and I went to his house to play PUBG. After playing several innings, it landed in a box, so the mentality exploded and did not want to play, so I went to the balcony to stretch my waist.

The good brother bought a laptop with a high configuration, and I went to his house to play PUBG. After playing several innings, it landed in a box, so the mentality exploded and did not want to play, so I went to the balcony to stretch my waist. Just then, a large flower cat lying on the balcony "meowed" at me. I asked my buddies, "Brother, it's called, do you like me?" The buddy looked at it and said, "It barks at you because it doesn't look good to you, and you not only step on its blanket, but also block it from basking in the sun." ”

2) Obviously, this is not the time to buy a house. Commodities are falling, including precious metals, US stocks, etc., why? Liquidity crisis, cash is king, which is also the logic of the current rise of the US dollar. Now is the time when cash is king, and the economic situation is still unclear.

3, friends, this year 28. I have been working in state-owned enterprises for almost 6 years. The annual salary is about 13W. Then the five insurances and one gold are indeed quite high, and the pension is more than 900 by itself, and the provident fund is 1500. Now the private sector wants to find me in the past. First: 3W more money in hand, less five insurances and one gold. Second: close to home, I am now in Hainan, home in Zhejiang. I bought two small apartments in Haikou, one set 60 and one set 90. You have to buy a house again when you go back there, or you won't stay often and have no place to live. Private companies are also in Zhejiang, two hours away from their hometown. Third: I am tired of being in state-owned enterprises, and the room for growth is small, and going to private enterprises can make me rise.

4, when I went to buy milk tea, I saw a beautiful woman. This beautiful woman was dressed in a dress, and her white clothes fluttered like a fairy. I fell in love with her at first sight and immediately followed her for a long time. Just as I was about to go up and talk to her, she turned into a leisure club on the side of the road. I lingered outside the clubhouse for a long time, and finally I had to leave in anger. When she decided to go to the clubhouse the next day to look for her, she had already left the clubhouse. At that moment, I was particularly sad, and secretly swore: when I go out on the street, I can't bring less than three hundred yuan with money!

5. When the sister-in-law gave birth, it was difficult to give birth, and as a result, the adults and children were not saved. After the funeral, my brother married a beautiful stewardess. After a year of marriage, the flight attendant left her brother with quintuplets. Now the children are grown up and eat in a big circle around the table. A few days ago, I went to my brother's house to rub rice, and the five children stood up in unison, called people in turn, very imposing, and called my aunt in turn. Then, the brother suddenly followed: Aunt. After 3 seconds of silence, the audience burst into laughter.

6, I do not believe in online dating, although I have met, but the heart can not go through that hurdle, always feel that will be deceived, I am too simple, but when the facts are in front of me, I have to believe. Now the online love boyfriend he calls me every morning and night, buys me snacks I like to eat online, he says we will run during the holidays, I want to wait, but I still want to run! See you, he's so handsome!

7, I grew up with the habit of shaking my legs, my mother has not taught me to change it. I had been shaking my legs the other day when I was eating at home, and my mom glanced at me, kicked me, and realized that she wasn't shaking. Just this afternoon I was sitting on the couch shaking my legs watching TV, my mom sewed sheets with a sewing machine, saw me shaking my legs, got up and pulled me to the machine, and let me sit on the pedals for two hours. Not to mention sitting on the couch playing with mobile phone legs are shaking, let alone gone!

8, I am a doctor, when I was still interning, I told my colleagues that I will become a famous doctor in the country. Everyone knew me, and they laughed at me and said I was dreaming. I didn't give up. I work hard in the hospital. Even when I got home, I spent all day reading medical books to enrich myself. Sure enough, the effort paid off. Just last Monday, I used my mobile phone while operating on a patient, and the phone was sewn on the patient's body by me and exposed by the media, and now it is known nationwide!

9, the daughter-in-law sometimes gets drunk, usually too angry with her, so always take advantage of her confusion to rectify her. Last night her father's birthday, drunk, crawling on the ground and drinking, brain pumping to undo the dog's condom and put it around her neck. I was holding Lehe at the top of the stairs, and my brother-in-law was not at ease! Now the dog cover is still not solved, we both sit on the couch smoking and waiting for his sister to wake up.

10, before getting up in the morning is shouting, Mom, what to eat in the morning. My mother would say fiercely, what to eat and what to pick, and then I said, Mom I want to eat potato shreds, my mother will do it. Now in the morning, I get up weakly and ask what kind of food my daughter-in-law eats, and my daughter-in-law kicks me out of bed, cooks, and makes me an egg by the way. Mom I think of you, full of tears, don't say I cooked to go.

1 How many people deliberately gamble to turn off the mobile phone, can't help but open it, and find that there is nothing. He thought how important he was in his heart, only to find out in the end that he was a joke. Don't be silly, people don't care about you.

12, at the board meeting, the manager suddenly shouted: "I stole the watch I put on the conference table!" The chairman shrugged and said to everyone, "Guys, I'll solve this problem in a decent way." Now turn off the lights for five minutes, and one by one everyone goes out and asks the person with the watch to put the watch on the table with the clock at the door. Five minutes later, the lights came on. There was no watch on the table, and the clock was missing.

13, in this company for almost half a year, I remember when I first joined the company, the procurement called me to help with the goods: Hey, brother, help, get off the goods, put on my overalls, don't get your clothes dirty. Now calling me to help unload the goods is like this: Hanging hair, what are you doing? The goods are coming, come over and do a favor to get the goods, what...? Change into overalls? Change into woolly overalls, come quickly, send you, go to dinner after the goods, and then go to massage.

14, in the morning, my head hurts, I look in the mirror, I think the face is not very good. In the morning, I went to the doctor alone. Dr. Wang diagnosed me for half a day, and he didn't figure out what was wrong with me, he was anxious to scratch his ears and scratch his cheeks. Just when Dr. Wang was at a loss, an old man with crane hair and a childlike face appeared. When Dr. Wang saw this old man, he seemed to see a life-saving straw. He shouted excitedly: "Teacher, I am not good at learning, and I have to bother you to see what is wrong with this young man." "The old doctor first examined my pulse, then observed my appearance. After about 5 minutes, he wiped his hands and asked which disease I wanted to treat.