1. One day five years ago, my sister was beaten by my brother-in-law, and my sister went back to her mother's house crying. When my dad found out, he got up and said to my mom: You comfort your daughter, I'll go out. Then my dad had red eyes

1. One day five years ago, my sister was beaten by my brother-in-law, and my sister went back to her mother's house crying. When my dad found out, he got up and said to my mom: You comfort your daughter, I'll go out. Then my father went to my brother-in-law's house with red eyes and said to my brother-in-law: If my daughter does anything wrong in the future, you will beat me, because I did not educate her well. After saying that he was ready to kneel, he was pulled up by my brother-in-law, and he slapped himself with tears and said: Dad, I'm sorry, I was wrong. Until now, I had never heard of my brother-in-law beating my sister.

2. My brother-in-law, who recently graduated from Harbin University of Technology, came to work in our unit. It happened to happen to be a weekend company dinner, and I took him to meet the leader who knew us. I didn't expect the luck of this product to be so good, my brother was planted by our female president at a glance, and the little uncle confessed by borrowing a donkey. Unexpectedly, the female president also agreed, and I said with a twitch in my head: It is really flowers planted on cow dung! The little uncle turned his head and looked at me urgently: Why do you say that she is cow dung!

3. After the college entrance examination, I had nothing to do to take the driver's license, but I didn't buy a car because I didn't have money. Once I borrowed a buddy Baojun 730 to prepare for the next day, and it stopped at the door. As a result, the next day it broke down, let the buddies come to see what was going on, he said that there was something wrong, just wouldn't come. After a day, I couldn't catch fire, so I found a car to tow it to the repair shop, and the master said, "It's time to change the parts." I called the buddies, and the buddies said, "You change!" I just spent 600 yuan to change the parts, and the buddy came and said, "I'm going to use the car first, so I won't lend it to you." "And then the parts money is not given to me either...?"

4. In order to fall in love with the Internet celebrity, I bought her an Audi A6, and after less than a month of talking, the Internet celebrity suddenly proposed to me to break up. I was so upset that I asked her why. Without speaking, she took out an onion, peeling it off layer by layer, her eyes filled with tears. My heart was also very sad, saying: Do you mean that after being together for so long, I have not understood the inner world wrapped up in layers of you? She choked up and said, "No, I mean, I love tore onions!"

5. The father-in-law took his pension and bought a villa for a flight attendant in Shanghai. This sky sister returned and received a skin care set from her father-in-law. After the flight attendant read it, she was angry and wanted to break up with her father-in-law! The flight attendant said, "You don't love me at all!" The father-in-law was suddenly stupid, and asked with a blank face: "Isn't this aquamarine mystery genuine?" Or did you accidentally buy the wrong brand again? The flight attendant said with a grumpy face: "Even the courier of Jingdong found that my nails changed color, but you didn't find it at all!" "#Funny Paragraph#"

6. According to the introduction of the matchmaker, the 29-year-old sister-in-law went on a blind date. After meeting, the man looks good, the body is estimated to have 182, and the sister-in-law is quite satisfied! After chatting for a while, she began to inquire about the man's wealth: "How much do you save?" The man replied: "Not much, only 3 million." The sister-in-law asked, "This is not much, there are already many, what do you do?" The man replied, "The brick factory." The sister-in-law asked: "Your deposit will not be 3 million bricks..." The man said lightly: "Otherwise." ”?

7. I am a courier at Shunf, and I have been in love with a girl at Cainiao Station for more than a year. Some time ago, my girlfriend was suddenly with a bentley-driving man! I was angry, so I made an appointment with the man and raced the car to duel. To save face, I gave my Santana a new coolant, oil filter, air filter, spark plug, wiper, brake line brake oil, steering wheel cover, car film, power steering hydraulic oil, and added No. 97 gasoline! At least that way, I won't lose too badly!

8. I bought a mousetrap and put meat in it to make good bait. But after 10 days, the bait did not move, and the rats were still happy and happy. I told my sister about it, and she said, "Maybe it's a female mouse who just wants to stay in shape, you try it with vegetables and fruits." "I changed the bait to a banana at night and caught it." A woman's mind is certainly not something that I can guess as a single dog, even if the other person is just a female mouse.

9. My dad had high blood pressure, and the doctor repeatedly told me not to eat greasy food. Two days ago, someone in the village got married, and Dad went to eat a banquet. Towards the end came a braised pork dish that my dad loved. Dad looked at dc and drooled, then clipped a large piece of cabbage and deliberately dropped it on the braised meat. Dad was surprised and said, "Drop it, clip it up!" "Then take the chopstick clip ah clip...

10. When I was seriously writing the program in the company, the boss suddenly came to the office to conduct a surprise inspection. The boss sees a person who is focusing on brushing funny videos. The boss asked angrily: "How much salary do you get in a month??? The man replied, "10,024 yuan." The boss took ten thousand yuan directly from his bag and threw it in front of him angrily: "This is your salary for this month, give me a !!! The man left without saying a word, and the angry boss asked me, "Which department is that boy from??? Me: "He??? He came to collect the courier. ”

11. I have been a programmer for five years and earn 1W5 per month. On the day of the paycheck, I accompanied my wife to the mall. In the Lancome store, the wife saw a set of cosmetics, and the price was 6999 yuan. The wife said: It's really expensive, let's go see something else." I was suddenly happy in my heart, my wife is still quite good at living. At this time, the teller stopped drying, ran over to his wife and said: Do you know why men like to get wet outside? It is because you, the lords, are not willing to spend money to dress up yourself, and the result is that you are cheaper than other women. My wife glanced at me and said quietly: I bought it!?

 #Funny Moment#Funny Paragraph# #搞笑幽默趣闻 #