1. Before going out to dinner, a colleague was very eccentric and stuffed a lighter, handkerchief paper, and toothpick box in his pocket. I said, "Are they all in these restaurants?" He smiled deeply, "When the time comes."

1. Before going out to dinner, a colleague was very eccentric and stuffed a lighter, handkerchief paper, and toothpick box in his pocket. I said, "Are they all in these restaurants?" He smiled deeply, "You'll know when the time comes!" After eating, the waiter brought the bill: "380 in total!" Everyone else took out their mobile phones and rushed to check out, and this colleague also shouted: "I come, I come!" Then he slowly pulled out a lighter, handkerchief paper, and a toothpick box from his pocket. By the time he pulled out his innermost mobile phone, the other colleagues had already finished checking out. I finally understood why he had to pack so many things!

2. I bought a baby turtle for my cousin for 20 yuan, she has been raising it for 8 years. From childhood to adulthood, my cousin and the turtle were inseparable, bathing and eating together. One day, I was shopping with my cousin, and she suddenly asked me: How old is the turtle? I don't know, just open the phone to Baidu, only to hear her leisurely come again: These two days when I was bathing with the turtle at home, I found that it looked at me a little wrong!

3. Recently I found my daughter-in-law very strange, she works overtime at work at work, comes back very late, and always asks me not to go out at home. I took the opportunity to hang out with my brothers and hurried home after my wife left work to avoid being discovered. As soon as my daughter-in-law pushed open the door, she asked me: Are you out to play or not at home? I certainly don't admit it, she lifted her foot and said: Iron-billed duck, the mouth is really hard! When I left, the flower-legged mosquitoes specially closed in the mosquito nets must not have sucked blood, and they still didn't honestly explain where to play?

4. After watching the finale of "Ruyi Zhuan", my husband watched the news. There was a girl who accidentally got stuck in the sewers because her legs were too thin. The husband immediately said: Daughter-in-law, I found that you are still safer. I glared at him and asked, "What do you mean by that?" Husband: It is still good that your legs are so thick, not to mention the sewers, it is estimated that even the iron railing is not called a thing!

5. Some time ago, the company recruited an industry elite from abroad, and she was still an overtime maniac. One day at work, she said to her colleagues in the department: "When I worked in the original company, I was an overtime maniac, and I came home late every day, hoping that everyone would keep up with me." "A month later, she resigned and went back... Before leaving, he threw down a sentence: "It is inhumane for you to work overtime like this!" ”

6. Today my mother urged me to get married again, and I quarreled with her for a while. The words were a bit excessive, and I felt regret after saying them, and I wanted to apologize to her. Unexpectedly, the old mother opened her mouth first: "Okay, don't argue with you, you love it." How to say that I am also wrong first, taking you to this look is my fault, resulting in so many times the family did not look at you. After listening to my mother's words, my heart, which had already regained its calm, became unstable again.

7. The husband and a male colleague went to Henan on a business trip and could not return until half a month later. Today, my husband called me to say that he and his colleagues came back by train in the early hours of the morning. I drove to pick him up, and my husband came out of the train station, saw me, and pretended not to know. He said to me: Beauty, it's so late, it's not safe to be outside alone, or I will send you home? I stepped forward and took my husband's arm and said, "It's so late, it's not safe to go to my house, or go to your house!" At this time, my husband's colleague quietly said to him: Brother, you can rest assured, I didn't see anything, I didn't hear anything, I left first!

8. On the day of the wedding, a flower palanquin came, and the four people who carried the palanquin wanted to be lazy and pulled out the bottom plate of the palanquin. After the bride got into the car, she had to walk inside. The car was getting faster and faster, and then it ran up, and the bride ran straight inside the car panting and sweating. The next day when she returned to the door, her mother asked her, "What is it like to sit in a car?" The bride: "Just like the students who go to the gymnastics, walk first and then run, and the steps must be followed closely, otherwise they will break the heel!" ”

 #Funny##Funny paragraph# #今日笑料 #