1. The man and the goddess who has been in love for a long time date, the waiter: "What do the two of you order?" ”
The goddess said, "I can't drink, and after drinking it, my whole body is hot, and I can't help but think, let's have two glasses of juice." ”
The man was happy, and while the goddess went to the toilet, he asked the waiter to change the juice for red wine.
The next day, the goddess came to the hospital bed with flowers and said to the man with the tight bandages all over his body: "I'm sorry, I can't help but want to hit people after drinking, I'm really sorry, you are well healed." ”
2. The mother-in-law was in a car accident and was hit by a Mercedes Benz and became a vegetative person. Yesterday I went up the mountain to burn incense for her, just in time for the pilgrim to follow the monk's chanting practice. I knelt down beside a beautiful woman and said to her, "Close your eyes when you chant the sutra, and only then will the Buddha bless you." Beauty smiled and nodded, "Okay, I see. "Then the monk began to chant, and I looked at the beautiful woman and left with her purse and mobile phone...
3. I've been fascinated by fitness lately and fantasized about becoming a man, and I'm particularly motivated. I firmly believe that there will be a girl who will fall in love with my perfect body as soon as she sees me, and can't help but fall in love with me. Now after having a good shoulder, chest and abdomen, I found a cruel fact: the fitness man that the girl likes is Peng Yuyan. And I can only get a different kind of evaluation: ugly into such a face, really blind such a good figure.
4. Recently, the weather has been very hot, the air conditioner at home has not been turned off, and my son accidentally caught a cold! Although my son has a cold, he still wants to drink cold drinks, so I don't want to give him a drink. I squatted down and advised him: You think in a different position, if you are a father, I am a son, I have a cold, but also drink a frozen drink, you know that drinking this thing will aggravate the cold, what should you do? The son listened, immediately stopped crying, and thought about it seriously. Then, a sharp slap on my nose: Do you dare to drink it? bastard!
5. The hostess and I went on a business trip for a week and got pregnant when we came back. The boss suspected that it was me and fired me in a fit of rage. I went to work in an electronics factory, and the canteen food in the factory was difficult to eat. Colleagues didn't want to eat in the cafeteria anymore, so they agreed that everyone would bring a dish. After eating for a few days, I found that it was still someone else's dish that had a fresh feeling. But after a few days they wouldn't let me participate, forking the fact that I was a single dog and couldn't cook. Besides, how come the bagged squeezed vegetables bought in the supermarket are not dishes?
6. My sisters and I agreed to exercise, and after a month to see who has fewer healthy steps, they will invite guests to dinner. Some time ago, I had about the same number of steps as her, until yesterday she bought pork dumplings from the market, and suddenly there were thousands of steps more than me, but she kept shouting that her arm hurt. Finally, under my questioning, I learned that she had tied her mobile phone to her arm when she chopped the stuffing.
7. A local tycoon in his fifties, worth tens of billions, went to Tsinghua University to inspect and saw a 26-year-old female doctor. It didn't take long for the two to get married, and then the female doctor gave birth to a very cute daughter to the local tycoon. In the delivery room, the local tycoon looked at his daughter with a spoiled face: Daughter-in-law, how about our daughter called Juan'er? The female doctor said: No, I think the name is not good! The local tycoon said: How is it bad? The female doctor said: Are you stupid? Don't you know your own surname Zhu?
8. The company blackout, I took the opportunity to pull the hand of a female colleague, a moment of electricity came, immediately embarrassed that I was pulling the boss's hand, she glanced at me, took my hand to the office, said: "Are you disappointed?" Naturally, I refused to tell the truth, laughing and saying, "Unexpected, reasonable, after all, I know that you have a crush on me." "The next day I was promoted and went to the top of my life!"
#Funny Moment#Funny Paragraph# #年度搞笑名场面 #
