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As the saying goes: home and everything is happy, home and happiness are self-generating.
A happy and harmonious family knows how to give in and cherish each other, and the days will become more and more complete. But a warm family is not for everyone, it requires every family member to work hard, but also a little luck.
We can't choose our original family in advance, we can only learn to accept.
If between the family, some people are too domineering, or the pattern is too small, and when the problem arises, they only know how to argue blindly, then they will lose the cohesion they should have. How can such a home be good?
It is not easy for young people to work hard outside, especially if they need to rely on their own personal ability to break out of the world, they have to pay 100% sweat to seize the opportunity.
Those who have ordinary family conditions, but in the end can go to success, although the family can not give too much help, but they can manage their own lives, will not deliberately destroy the feelings between each other.
But the negative impact of low-level elderly people will be even more terrible than you think.
Whether a family is prosperous or not, the key lies in the elderly, and these three kinds of elderly people hope that you do not meet.
01: Patriarchal elderly people will only drag down the family
The mother of Fang Xiangjin in the TV series "An Jia" is a typical patriarchal old man, she never knows how to treat every child equally, and only thinks of her son.
Fang Xiangjin's learning ability is very strong, but her mother thinks that as a girl, there is no need to study, and it is the right way to marry quickly when she is young, so that marrying a good family can also help her son.
After Fang Xiangjin was admitted to college, her mother locked her up at home in order to prevent her from going to school, and even cancelled her student status.
If she understood that the values of male and female existence were the same, she would not have treated her daughter this way, nor would she have made the relationship between the whole family so tense.
After the adult Fang Xiangjin did real estate sales, the performance has been far ahead, and the money earned has gradually increased, at this time the mother began a new round of squeezing.
She forced Fang Zhijin to buy a house for her brother, and if she didn't buy it, she would make a fool of herself in public.
It was because of his mother's arrogance and doting that his brother became so inactive that he enjoyed everything for granted, without even the most basic ability to support himself.
Such a preference for sons and daughters is not only harming daughters, but also sons. Such an old man. Undoubtedly the misfortune of the whole family.
02: The elderly who are too controlling do not know how to use love to run the family
Some old people, who do not understand what true love is, are too controlling when they are with their children, and never give respect.
As everyone knows, children are coming because of you, but not for you, they also have their own life pursuits, but also have their own preferences and choices, if too much interference, it will only bring them more pain.
For example, when a child reaches a certain age and is not yet married, some parents begin to be anxious, they make up their own minds to arrange blind dates for their children, and if the children refuse, they scold them for filial piety.
But what about agreeing to go on a blind date? If they don't fit each other, it's useless to force them.
But some parents have reached a certain extreme level, they do not care about the inner feelings of their children, they have to force them to marry, force them to start a family. If you don't agree, you will cry twice and hang yourself three times.
Children can't help it, they can't watch their parents just make trouble, they can only agree.
Do you think you're safe when you're married? No, after marriage, parents will carry out a new round of control, such as when you must have children, have a second child, how much money you must earn, and even when to go home.
In this family environment, the child can never be independent, can never be himself, not so much an independent person, but rather a puppet of his parents.
Such a controlling old man, encountering the misfortune of his children, will also affect the luck of the whole family, and only by properly relaxing and letting the children be independent can they be alleviated. Otherwise, in the end, the whole family will smoke miasma, chickens fly dogs jump.
03: The elderly with poor mentality hinder the growth of a family
Feng Zikai said: "Since there is nowhere to escape, it is better to be happy." Since there is no Pure Land, it is better to have a pure heart. Since you didn't get your wish, you might as well be relieved. ”
There are many helplessness in life, instead of being immersed in negative emotions because of a little setback, it is better to learn to look at the world from a positive perspective, so that there is more joy in the heart.
But many elderly people, it is difficult to actively adjust their mentality.
Even if you only encounter a small thing, you will feel that the sky has fallen. They continue to create trouble and drag down their children, although the children are filial, but sooner or later they will be tired.
Su Daqiang in the TV series "All Is Good" is like this, he has always only caused trouble for his children.
First of all, he made up his own mind to manage his finances and lost tens of thousands of dollars; second, he wanted his children to buy him a house, and he also had to have three rooms and a living room, which indirectly led to the breakdown of the marriage of the second son; second, he also had to marry a nanny, making the whole family unable to live in peace.
It can be said that the characteristics of the old man without virtue are all occupied by him.
Whether a family is prosperous or not, the key lies in the elderly, I hope you do not meet the elders with poor mentality and like to be contrived.
Whether a family is prosperous or not, the key lies in the elderly, and the above three kinds of elderly people hope that you will not meet.
Wise elders who know how to manage their lives in a way that is treated will not be kidnapped by wrong ideas. When getting along with children, they also know that they should be respected and loved, and they will not prefer sons to daughters.
It is a blessing that the elderly who have a clear sense of reason in the family will try to live for themselves and will face all difficulties with a positive heart.
When the elders live well, the young people can work hard with peace of mind, and the future life will feel very happy because they are full of love for each other, and the family will become more and more prosperous.
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