Author: Insight Uki
It is lucky to have a branch to rely on, and it is a strong to carry is the bottom.
I once saw a question online: "What are the signs of a person's maturity?" ”
One of the high praises replied: "Less bluff and more silent desperation." ”
When you think about it, it is.
When we are young, we like to render the grievances we have suffered to earth-shattering, and we long for someone to understand us.
In the second half of life, we have already lived as our own ferrymen, not crying or making trouble, and turning all emotions into silent mode.
01
Quit glass hearts
In the TV series "An Jia", Fang Zhijin is a real estate agent.
In the vast city, she has no background, and she still needs to support a large family, so she can only rely on herself to climb and roll all the way.
With her excellent business skills, she became the store manager.
There is such a scene in the play, which makes me feel very sad.
Fang Xiangjin took an old couple to see the house, ran before running to the back end of the tea to buy water, but suffered all kinds of difficulties.
When we met for the second time, Fang Xiangjin took the old couple to sign the contract, and took the initiative to hold an umbrella for the second old man when he got off the bus.
But before her hand could get out of the car door, the customer closed the door.
Her hand was caught in the car door and bleeding, and she couldn't stand up straight in pain, but there was no complaint.
When the two old men saw this scene, they not only did not care or apologize a little, but impatiently urged:
"Hurry up, we are very tight on time, you are so young, but the movement is so slow, and we old people are waiting for you!"
In other words, ordinary people may have collapsed in their hearts long ago.
Fang Zhijin endured the pain and led them through the formalities with a smile.
Back at the store, she raised her hand wrapped around the gauze and said calmly to the clerks:
"The customer slammed the car door on my hand without even a word of comfort. In the eyes of our clients, we are just a tool for them to find a house. They see that we are neither painful nor hungry, not even flesh and blood. ”
A word, it was heart-wrenching.
In real life, everyone has to bear a lot of grievances.
Maybe it is being difficult by customers, being excluded by colleagues, or putting a lot of effort into it, but still being blamed and questioned.
In other words, when we are full of spirits, we may have the confidence to go away.
But at a certain age, you can only silently sort out your emotions and clean up all the mess.
Because we know that no one's life is not hard, and no one has the obligation to understand our heartache.
In the life of an adult, who is not full of heart and grievances, but pretends to be like no one else, grits his teeth alone to face all the difficulties.
In the grinding of life over and over again, turning one's own glass heart into a diamond heart is the only way for a person to mature.
02
Quit talking
Have you ever had a time like this?
When you encounter a little frustration or suffering, you can't help but want to find someone to talk to, hoping that someone can share your pain.
Later, I found out that there are very few people in this world who can empathize with you.
Most of the time, the wounds that have been festering in our hearts for a long time are just dust that others have casually brushed away.
The Tang Dynasty poet Liu Zongyuan, born into a rich family, became famous at a young age, and held a high position before he was thirty years old.
When the scenery is beautiful, the daily traffic in the home is full of doors, and the guests are like clouds.
At that time, he wrote a "Theory of Six Inverse" in an attempt to persuade Tang Shunzong, who was seriously ill, to replace the prince.
However, the "Yongzhen Revolution" failed in an all-round way, and Liu Zongyuan's lifelong exile began.
In the exiled land, he was not satisfied with the soil and water, and all kinds of diseases were gathered, and soon he was destroyed.
Fearing that he would die in this wasteland, he asked everyone he knew for help and wrote to his former friends about his tragic experience.
However, there was no reply to the words.
Former friends are full of seats, but today it is too late to avoid them.
There is a saying on the Internet that says it well:
"No one will really feel your pain, and no one will care about the obstacles and injuries you have encountered along the way.
No matter how many people are shown, their own experiences, their own lives are at most a small episode for others. ”
Sometimes, you desperately show your wounds to others and pour out your own experiences, in exchange for not understanding, but the indifference of others.
Growing up is a process of isolation and helplessness, the road must be walked step by step, and the pain is to stutter by yourself.
In those days when no one cares, you have to swallow grievances and swallow complaints.
When you survive all the suffering alone, you can always usher in your own smooth road.
03
Quit feelings of dependency
There is a topic on Douban: At what moment did you realize that there was no one around to rely on, and you could only rely on yourself?
Netizens shared their experiences in the message area.
Some people say: In the year of North Drift, most of his savings were cheated out of renting a house, and there were less than 300 yuan left on his body.
I had to live in a crowded, dark basement, and it was difficult to even turn over.
During that time, I worked part-time as a waiter, handed out flyers, ate only one bun a day, and carried it so hard for a month.
At the most difficult time, I also thought about opening my mouth to my parents, but when I thought that they would be too worried to sleep, I finally decided to only report good news and not worry.
Some people say: My husband works more than 1,000 kilometers from home, and I am alone at home with two children.
One morning, Dabao had a fever, Xiaobao also cried incessantly, and there was no one around who could take the handle.
I didn't feel at ease to leave Xiao Bao at home, so I could only carry The Big Treasure on my back and hold Xiao Bao while running to the hospital in town.
It was minus a few degrees, and the cold wind blew my whole face in pain.
The next day my husband called, I put up with my grievances, and Yun gently told him: Everything is fine at home.
Some people also said: Last year, because of the industry downturn, I was unfortunately laid off by the company.
At that time, my wife was pregnant, and after learning the news, I did not dare to tell her at all.
You can only go out on time every day and pretend to work normally.
In fact, I found a park that was far away from my home and stayed all day.
During that week, I was frantically refreshing the recruitment website every day, but I gave them resumes for any position that was a little hopeful.
I have heard a saying: "On the road of life, the wind and rain are fluctuating, it is lucky to have branches to rely on, and it is strong to carry it." ”
When we were young, we always relied on the care of the people around us, and even if the sky fell, there were people who carried it for us.
As they get older, their parents will grow older, their friends will gradually disperse, and their partners will have their own strength.
The world is raining heavily, and no one can carry more for you.
No matter how much bitterness, it can only be digested silently; no matter how bitter and tired, it can only be carried hard alone.
04
Mr. Ji Xianlin wrote in "Sorrow and Joy self-crossing":
"On the road of life, everyone is a lonely traveler. There are thousands of conditions in the world, bittersweet joys and sorrows, ups and downs, except for self-crossing, others can not help. ”
In the second half of life, all the pretense is useless.
Instead of looking around for shelter from others, it is better to carry everything alone.
Abandon the dispensable glass heart, throw away the habitual desire to talk, and quit the sense of dependence on the people around you.
When you learn to be alone, you will have the confidence to stand in the world.
Give it a thumbs up, be a quiet person, and boil all the bitterness into sweetness.