This article is original by Tu Ma Ai Na Na, all rights reserved, infringement will be investigated
In the traditional concept of Chinese, the vast majority of grandchildren follow the father's surname, which also makes many people take it for granted that the daughter-in-law has a child, and the mother-in-law must have to pay, after all, from the surname, the child is the in-laws.
Although this view sounds a bit old-fashioned, in real life, the mother-in-law's care of grandchildren has been taken for granted by many women, especially after giving birth, once the in-laws neglect to take care of it, it will lead to an inexplicable mother-in-law contradiction.
When it comes to the mother-in-law's efforts, there has been such a topic on the Internet: after giving birth, the mother-in-law who pays for it and the mother-in-law who contributes, who is more popular?
Colleague Xiao Zhou is a post-90s, when talking about this issue, she decisively said that she would prefer her mother-in-law to pay, because contributing means that the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have to live together, which is a challenge for a family with children.
Xiao Zhou's mother-in-law is a retired people's teacher, and after learning that Xiao Zhou was pregnant, her mother-in-law bought many supplements online and sent them over.
After Xiao Zhou gave birth to a child, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law got along for a while, but during this period, the two personalities were incompatible, and small conflicts occurred frequently. Fortunately, Xiao Zhou and her mother-in-law are both highly educated people and have never quarreled in person.
The mother-in-law thought about it and decided to quit taking the child on the grounds of physical discomfort, but in order to appease the daughter-in-law, the mother-in-law decided to pay for the little two to find a nanny with a baby, in addition, the money that should be spent on the child was not lost.
Xiao Zhou also understood the intention of the mother-in-law, and the two tacitly resolved the contradiction between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law, so in Xiao Zhou's view, the mother-in-law's contribution is more conducive to family harmony than the contribution.
After giving birth, do you want your mother-in-law to pay or contribute?
In general, the best answer we imagine is definitely "both money and force".
But the fact is somewhat surprising, in the comment area, many young parents after the 90s have chosen to "prefer the in-laws to pay for it" like Xiao Zhou, and their answers also present the relationship between contemporary mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
@ Two small cotton jackets: The best way is for the mother-in-law to pay for it, and her mother to help bring the baby, and the current mother-in-law relationship is too difficult, and once it is not done well, it will affect family harmony.
@ Haruko: Decisively choose money, children I can bring myself, two generations together parenting contradictions are too much! But unfortunately, my mother-in-law neither paid nor contributed, so we hardly come and go now.
@ On the mountain to fight the tiger: I am 91 years, a son and a daughter, the mother-in-law pays for it, but at home is also relatively strong, sometimes feel that I am quite wronged, if you can choose, she pays for it, I am more looking forward to separating.
@ Qiu Yinong: I am a mother-in-law, I think that today's young people are too self-reliant, when they get married, their parents have tried their best, but after marriage, they will continue to be exploited, and I will not bring children to my son in the future, nor will I give money.
Is it reasonable for a daughter-in-law to give birth to a child, and the in-laws to contribute money?
In real life, out of the love of the elders for the younger generations, many in-laws and daughters-in-law will contribute money to their sons and daughters-in-law to help, after all, the work pressure of young people is very high, and the energy of the baby is limited.
But in-laws pay to help their children is not an obligation but a sentiment, and what they want is nothing more than that the children's small family can live happily and the big family can live in harmony.
Therefore, as young people, we have no right to ask our in-laws to contribute money, let alone the right to kidnap the elderly with children and pensions.
Giving birth to a child is a deliberate decision of the two children, and the legal guardian after the birth of the child is also a parent, not a grandparent.
Of course, as the elderly, we must also give young people the understanding they deserve, and do not give birth to their children when they are not fully prepared.
In this way, after the birth of a child, it will not only bring a huge parenting burden to the child, but also let yourself fall into the strange circle of contributing money and effort to maintain family affection.
Mom's message
Poor parents in the world, every parent loves their children, so they are willing to give everything they have to help their children establish and maintain their own small families, and their children should also be grateful for their parents' efforts, rather than taking it for granted.
After having a baby, do you want your mother-in-law to pay or contribute? Welcome to leave a message in the comment area!
I am a mother, there is a cute baby at home, every day to record and share a temperature, height, depth of parenting experience and interesting talk, pay attention to me, at any time to get scientific and reliable parenting dry goods! Feel free to leave a comment or tell me what you think in the comments section!
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