Recently, netizen Liu Yinyue reported the former mother-in-law's violation of law and discipline in real name on Weibo, and clearly explained the process of being calculated by her mother-in-law to be in debt.
This made many netizens call directly:
"If what the woman said is true, then this mother-in-law is simply a snake and scorpion heart."
More netizens said bluntly: "The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is really terrible, it is simply murderous and cursed." ”
Coincidentally, after Wang Xiaofei and Big S divorced, close friends revealed that there were many reasons for their divorce, but one of the reasons was the discord between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and the resulting contradictions filled the family with smoke and finally went to split.
From this point of view, it seems that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a difficult problem no matter what era and which class.
And after my analysis, there are generally three points of controversy over the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law:
1
The struggle for men – behind it is the struggle for the right to speak.
Many daughters-in-law said that the mother-in-law would be jealous of her husband's kindness to them. Why?
Because the mother-in-law does not want to see her son get married, she will circle around other women. In fact, they are afraid that their influence on their son will decline.
The daughter-in-law's competition for men is to illustrate:
I am the hostess! From today onwards, I have the final say in our family.
2
The borders are unclear – behind it is the struggle for family authority.
After marriage, the mother-in-law still does not pay attention to the privacy of her son and daughter-in-law, ostensibly for the good of the little couple, but in fact, she is unwilling to admit that there is a boundary between herself and her new family.
3
Contempt for thought – behind it is the terrible "alien mentality".
If you are not of my race, your heart will be different. Daughter-in-law is always an outsider, and mother-in-law is always an enemy. Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get along with such a mentality, and it is inevitable that they will despise each other, provoke each other, and even hurt each other.
But these three points of controversy can actually be resolved. And the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law wants to be handled well, which is also a sentence:
The mother-in-law knows respect, and the daughter-in-law knows gratitude.
And the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law who have a good relationship, both sides are people who understand, at least they always remember the two words in their hearts.
So, how do we grasp the balance of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law?
The first thing is to understand that the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is essentially a contradiction between husband and wife
My fan Min Er once said to me:
"When there is a contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, my husband's attitude is to avoid, in his words, 'I don't mix with your women's affairs.'"
Min'er's husband's attitude must be problematic.
If you also meet a husband who is like a hand-throwing treasurer, the way you can solve the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should be, and you should let your husband know that the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will affect the relationship between your husband and wife.
The main thing is that you have to come up with a general solution.
For example, Min Er said to her husband:
"Husband, I've been in a very depressed mood lately, feeling like I can't get recognition, and I feel like I can't lift my spirits in anything. You know why, I don't think I can solve it on my own. Can you help me? ”
You must not accuse:
"How about your mom! What's wrong with your mom. ”
Be sure to change the tone into "My feelings, our little family will be good." ”
Of course, guide your husband to take the initiative to help you deal with the problem, rather than blindly "and thin mud", there are many other ways, we will talk about it later.