Text/Coriander
Once a man and a woman enter into marriage, it represents the beginning of family life. However, many times, from lovers to couples, there will be many changes, including lifestyle, including the run-in of each other's personalities and so on.
Because married life, after all, is not a love period, two people to really live together, you have to face all kinds of tedious details of life. The love period is sweet, and lovers may only see each other's beauty and ignore each other's shortcomings. But after entering the marriage, the bad side of both parties will gradually be exposed, and contradictions will occur.
So, what is the best state of getting along with couples in marriage? There are four aspects that can be referred to below.
★ Two people with one heart
Both men and women can be united because there is love between each other that they can come together. Within marriage, husband and wife have a heart, which is a very important factor of existence. If you enter the marriage and you can't be in the same heart with each other, it is difficult for the quality of the marriage to rise.
So, where is the heart of a husband and wife embodied? It is reflected in the sense of responsibility for the family and the loyalty to the spouse.
At the beginning of marriage, many couples may be able to do this, but as time goes on, a heart is likely to be unable to hold on.
The outside world is wonderful, so when a man or woman is seduced by the outside world, the sense of responsibility that was originally placed on the spouse and placed in the family is transferred.
But if two people can put their hearts on the family they have built together from beginning to end, everything is for each other's sake, and it is not easy to understand each other, if they can do this, the feelings of husband and wife will naturally increase unabated. It's a beautiful thing to have each other in mind.
★ The three views are the same or similar
When two people are together, it is rare that the three views are the same. If two people who can enter the marriage happen to have the same or similar views, it is rare luck.
The three views are the same, and the happiness of life will be much more obvious. This is because two people with the same three views can talk a lot and do a lot of things together.
Between husband and wife, the most feared thing is that there is no word to say. But if the three views are the same, they can be talked together. For example, Qian Zhongshu and Yang Dai, because they have a common love for literature, so their lives, literature alone has endless topics to talk about.
Another example is a classmate, she and her husband are both teachers, teaching in different schools. When I got home, I would talk about my teaching situation or the topic of students.
Therefore, couples with the same or similar views of the three views are actually more stable in marriage.
★ Treat each other as equals, there is no high or low
The most balanced relationship between husband and wife is that they are on the same level as each other, and there is no male superiority over female inferiority, or female superiority or male weakness. Only couples in equal relationships can go further.
Equality is not just about academic qualifications, knowledge or background.
If the couple, one is too highly educated, the other is too low; one has a good family and the other is very poor, it is difficult to harmonize the marital status.
If two people who are too far apart in all aspects, it is actually difficult to have any three views that are the same, or to be able to achieve a heart or the like. Even if they are initially united because of love, they will expose many contradictions in married life.
I have a friend who is an undergraduate herself and her husband is a Doctor. At first, I also felt that there was nothing remarkable, as long as there was love. But after marriage, she found that her doctoral husband did not talk to her at all, sometimes he and his friends were chatting, she asked, her husband said: don't ask if you don't understand.
It was actually very hurtful, even if he didn't mean it.
Or rather, two people with too different family backgrounds are also psychologically different. The person with a superior background will more or less show his (her) sense of superiority, and in terms of speaking and doing things, there will be a superior performance. Such a husband and wife relationship is also not very stable.
Relatively equal conjugal relationships are, to a large extent, more durable. For example, there is also a stable job, similar education, and family background. Such a couple, the relationship can be more harmonious.
★ Intimate
It is said that if you become a husband and wife, there is no secret, because husband and wife should be one. However, many facts have proved that it is not a good thing for couples to be intimate.
Is it love to present yourself unreservedly in front of your spouse and make the other person look transparent? Not really. Between husband and wife, to achieve intimacy, is the best state.
Why? Being intimate and leaving yourself a little space is the best way for couples to get along.
Husbands and wives in the world, there is no 100% love and no care. The selfishness of human nature, even the closest people, can be apprehensive.
For example, a friend thinks that when she gets married, she must be sincere with her spouse, so she has said all the boyfriends she has made before, and even the name and address profession are very clear.
Nothing happened at first, but then the ex-boyfriends came to her to settle the account, because her husband "greeted" them from time to time and "consulted" her and their past.
Only then did she know that, it turned out, that confession was not a good thing. Her marriage eventually disintegrated.
Therefore, in marriage, it is absolutely necessary to love one's spouse, to be kind to him or her, and to properly retain one's own secrets and privacy.