I don't know if you have any parents who have come to the city to help bring their grandchildren and granddaughters?
If young people do not have the help of their parents, it will be difficult for many people to take the child alone.
Today's article is shared with you. Self-complaints from rural mothers-in-law that it is too difficult for children to live in the city.
[Rural children have a hard time gaining a foothold in the city]
My name is Zhou Hongqiu, and everyone calls me Aunt Zhou. Time flies so fast, and it has been 4 years since I arrived at my son's house.
Since my daughter-in-law became pregnant, I have come to my son's house to help. I have to say that it is really too difficult for rural children to gain a foothold in the city.
The son and daughter-in-law are college classmates. After graduating from university, he chose to settle in Kunming. The wedding room is the down payment for our two sons, and the daughter-in-law's family undertakes the decoration. Now their two young families pay more than 4,000 yuan in mortgages every month.
I helped them to make a simple calculation. The annual mortgage expenditure alone is almost 60,000 yuan! There are also living expenses, property fees, utilities, plus the cost of kindergarten for granddaughters. The annual expenditure of the son's small family is not less than 100,000 yuan.
Such a large amount of money, if it were in our village, would be enough to spend several years.
But the son has to work outside, and the granddaughter has to go to kindergarten. No matter how hard life is, you have to persevere.
What is even more annoying is that neither parent has social security. Now they can still feed themselves, and when they get older, the burden on their children will be heavy.
[Daughter-in-law works hard]
The daughter-in-law is a very good child. She teaches at a training institution. It's nice to go out at noon every day and get home at 10:30 p.m.
My son works a little better, but he only has 4 days off every month.
After my daughter-in-law became pregnant, I was very sad for her. It is not easy to run on the road every day with your stomach up. I offered to let her resign and follow me back to my hometown to raise a baby.
But the sensible daughter-in-law refused. If she resigns, the pressure on the family will be on her son. She continues to work and can also reimburse maternity insurance.
Whenever I think about it, I feel sad. If the conditions in my family were good, the daughter-in-law would not have endured the blank eyes of her boss and colleagues and insisted on going to work.
It's hard for a woman in town. Think of the young daughter-in-law in our village, who lies at home after entering the door. Don't say go out to work, even if the soy sauce bottle is poured, it will not be lifted up.
【Maternity needs to be taken care of】
Before the daughter-in-law gave birth, the mother rushed from her hometown. After the birth of our granddaughters, we took care of their mother and daughter together.
The caesarean section is particularly traumatic, and the daughter-in-law is particularly weak after giving birth. I carefully prepared meals every day, afraid that she would not be nutritious enough.
Compared with the daughter-in-law, the mother in the same ward is pitiful, and only the child's father takes care of her.
We always brought her an extra confinement meal for those days. The daughter-in-law eats native chicken, she eats takeaway, and it hurts to look at.
After being discharged from the hospital, the daughter-in-law is responsible for raising her body. My mother cooks and I take care of the kids.
Winter in Kunming is still quite cold. It is hard to imagine what the daughter-in-law and granddaughter should do if there is no one around to take care of it. On such a cold day, how can a new mother who has a caesarean section stay up late with her child?
The son was clumsy in doing things and made the child cry several times. As soon as the child cries, the daughter-in-law cannot sleep peacefully.
【It's hard to take children]
After the daughter-in-law was born, the mother hurried back to her hometown. Her family is also very burdened, with old and young.
As soon as my mother left, the care of the children fell on me. It's hard to take care of children, but I'm so happy.
When I'm older, I like to hold my granddaughter. I wasn't so happy when I gave birth to my son.
With me with children, my son and son can go to work with peace of mind. My daughter-in-law told me that her colleague had resigned and gone home. Because there is no one to take children, they can only choose to be housewives.
I sighed. Children can't be separated from people, but if they don't go to work, they have no income. If only someone could help, otherwise what about the mortgage?
【Support the preparation of daughter-in-law examination】
Soon after the daughter-in-law took maternity leave, she was gently persuaded by her boss to quit. I don't know who told the boss that the daughter-in-law was ready to have a second child.
During that time, my son went around to see work. But I haven't found the right one.
In the end, it was the son who supported his daughter-in-law to rely on the compilation. Just no job, sign up for a training class, spend 1-2 years to get admitted is also very good.
In order to provide help to the daughter-in-law, our old couple helped her pay the registration fee for the training class. His wife has been working outside, and he put two-thirds of his salary on his son's card to prevent his son from having too much pressure.
I bring children, and my daughter-in-law can study with peace of mind. At that time, I was thinking in my heart, if I could get in, it would be good, and it would be okay if I couldn't take the test. It's a big deal to find another job.
【Mixed Life】
The daughter-in-law took the exam for more than 2 years and finally passed the exam.
But fate played a joke on our family. My son's company went out of business due to the impact of the epidemic.
In those days, the family was supported by the daughter-in-law's salary. Life is really mixed, there is no time for people to worry.
In order to subsidize the family, the son went to deliver takeaways at night. Looking at my son, who runs until midnight every day, how painful it is.
I always hoped that my son would grow up quickly, but now I miss him when he was a child. At least then he was carefree around us.
[We can't go back to our hometown]
After my granddaughter went to kindergarten, I couldn't go back to my hometown. My mother couldn't come with the baby, so she had to let me stick with it for a few years.
Daughter-in-law has a stable job, but is far from home. After my son found a job, he was either on a business trip or on a business trip. If I go back to my hometown, my granddaughter will have no one to take care of.
My wife also insisted on working outside. In order to reduce the burden on her son, my wife was eager to work a few more jobs.
Sometimes I dream of going back to my hometown. I miss my little yard and the old sisters in the village. I miss my old mother back home even more! Over the years, I rarely went back to see her, and I could only transfer the money to my brother's bank card and ask my brother to take more care of my mother.
[Families with parents will not be too bad]
After living with my son's family for all these years, I have discovered a truth: if rural children want to live in the city, they must be helped by someone around them.
Both families go to work, and there is basically not much pressure in life. Once the daughter-in-law resigns to take the child at home, the financial pressure is greater.
Many people say that those of us who come to bring our children are free nannies in our son's house. It can't be said that I can hold my little granddaughter every day, which is the day that many people dream of.
Besides, what if I don't help with the children, what if my son has two children? You can't quit one.
In the years when my daughter-in-law was preparing for the exam, I didn't let her wash a single bowl. Exams are hard, where do you have the energy to take care of your children's affairs.
We are just ordinary people,and we don't have the conditions to hire a nanny. While they can still move, give their sons a handle, their lives will not be difficult.
[Son two are very motivated]
In a few years we'll be 60 years old. I don't know how long my wife can work, he always wants to save more money for his children.
My son hurts both of us, and we hurt him too.
He had a hard time living in the city with his daughter-in-law and children. Although I helped him, he did not dare to rest for a day.
Sometimes I want to talk to him a lot, but I can't go back to my hometown. You don't have to worry about so many things when you go home.
But the son is not an old man. Both of them are very motivated and sensible.
【Respect the choice of two sons】
When I first came to town, I didn't fit in at all. Rural areas can raise their own chickens and grow vegetables. A cabbage in the city costs several dollars.
Living in the village, where you need to spend so much money. But since my son chose to live outside, I respected his opinion.
I used to urge my daughter-in-law to have a second child. But now there is no such idea. My daughter-in-law told me explicitly that a child was just right. Although I can help with the child, getting pregnant and having a child is a matter for the daughter-in-law and cannot be forced.
【Give your child a little more help】
Dear old sisters, if the children live outside, it is good that we can take a hand.
We rural people have no pension and no extra money to give to our children. But we can still take care of our grandchildren and granddaughters.
Don't be afraid to leave your hometown, and don't feel like a free nanny.
Love your children and give them a little more help.