After retirement, no matter how rich you are, don't help your children's "three kinds of help"

There are many elderly people in life, who are busy with their children all their lives, but when they are old, they are not pleased. There are not many things like this when you don't even have money to see a doctor when you are sick, and when you ask your children for it, you are rejected and rejected.

Many old people can't understand, am I raising a group of "white-eyed wolves"? Why are other people's children filial and happy in their old age, but only their own old age is so desolate?

As the saying goes: the parent's home is always the child's home, and the child's home is never the parent's home. Every parent wants to give the best to their children, and this love is selfless. But after the children become a family, they have their own "small family", and after having their own children, sometimes they will give priority to taking care of their own small family.

At this time, the parents are old, the body is declining, and the only source of income after retirement is the pension. At this time, the elderly must take precautions, do their best to help their children, and more importantly, take care of themselves first, and make plans for their old-age life.

When people are old, if they want to have a happy old age, they are nothing more than to keep these two points: one is a healthy body, and the other is enough pension money.

The following things, after retirement, do not help your children to do:

01 The golden nest and the silver nest are not as good as their old nests, and they cannot sell old houses for their children

The old age, which has no place to live and no place to live, is the most desolate.

Aunt Su in the community bought her own two-bedroom apartment in order to change her son's big house a few years ago, just to buy a large set of three sets for his son in Shanghai. Originally, I thought that I used to help them with their children, and in their old age, they would retire at their son's home, but they did not expect that because of the discord between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law, they did not have the right temper with the daughter-in-law, and now they want to come back but they do not even have a place to live.

She toiled at her son's house, helped them with their children, washed and cooked, and willingly became a free nanny, but even so, the daughter-in-law was still able to pick her nose and eyes, and she was dissatisfied with her.

The living habits of young people and the elderly are not the same, living under the same roof for a long time, it is inevitable that there will be various contradictions, coupled with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, it will be a kind of torment for the body and mind of the elderly in the long run.

Aunt Su wanted to come back, but the old house had been sold.

Aunt Su said with emotion: Don't sell your house for your children, the golden nest and silver nest are not as good as your own old nest. In your own home, you can do whatever you want, and in your children's home, you have to always consider their feelings everywhere, look at the face of your daughter-in-law, people are old, this feeling of sending people under the fence is really uncomfortable. But what else can be done?

02Preparation, don't empty the old bottom to your children

Wilde said: When I was young, I thought that money was the most important thing in the world. Now that I'm older, I know that's true.

In this society, when you have money, whatever you say, others say you are right. But when you don't have money, your children may not be willing to listen to what you say. Human nature is such a reality.

At any time, at any age, money is the foundation and confidence for a person to survive in this society.

There are some elderly people in life who spend all their savings for their children, and even spend all their old money for their sons to start a family, but also borrow money from relatives and friends to help their sons buy houses and cars.

There are not many such old people around, Uncle Liu has 2 sons, when he was young, he drove a truck, his wife worked in the factory, the old two saved more than 300,000 yuan for the province, in order to marry the son to the daughter-in-law, one person gave 150,000, and borrowed more than 100,000 with relatives and friends, which was considered to be a down payment to the two sons and a new home.

After Aunt Liu retired, she went to see her grandson to the eldest son's family, after watching the old man's family, then looking at the old second family, the old man had a second child, and over the years, Aunt Liu has been busy running around the two sons' homes, helping them look at the children, doing housework and complaining.

Uncle Liu is not idle, he is too old to drive a truck, so he follows the brick factory in the town to press bricks and move bricks every day, and people who are almost 60 years old rely on vigorous efforts to earn some living expenses.

But even this kind of effort, but also did not get the gratitude and respect of the children, on the contrary, the two sons and daughters-in-law will often be picky because of some trivial matters, disgusted with the old man with children is not good, cooking is not good, even the washed clothes are not clean.

Last year, Uncle Liu was diagnosed with lung cancer, and the doctor said that he found it early and could live for 5 to 10 years without problems. But this surgical cost is about 100,000 to 150,000, two sons you push me I push you, none of them are willing to give the old man this money.

The two daughters-in-law are even more inflammatory, do not give the in-laws a good face, and dislike them for being old and old, which is a burden.

The two old men were angry and tearful, and said bluntly: In the next life, donkeys will not raise sons.

Every parent wants to give the best to their children, but how many children put themselves in their shoes when their parents need them? As they age, the body of the elderly is in decline, and after retirement, they lose the ability to make money. Most of the elderly depend on pensions alone to survive.

When people are old, once they are sick, they can't even afford to pay for surgery, and it is not so easy to talk to their children in turn at this time.

Therefore, at any time, the elderly must leave a way back for themselves. When helping children, first take care of yourself as the premise, do everything according to your ability, and don't empty the old bottom. When people are old and don't hurt themselves anymore, who will hurt you?

03 Know how to let go, and don't interfere in their housework after their children become a family

There is no shortage of stories in life that lead to the divorce of the couple due to excessive interference by parents.

Aunt Ma in the community is shrewd and capable, and has already prepared everything for her son to get married. He specially bought his son's marriage house opposite his home, so that he could take care of his son, and when he was old, his son was also convenient to take care of himself.

Under the management of Aunt Ma, the son also successfully married a beautiful local girl, but less than 2 years after marriage, Aunt Ma's son divorced.

The reason is that the girl can't stand Aunt Ma's "thoroughness".

Since her son got married, every morning at 5 o'clock, Aunt Ma would go to her son's house to prepare breakfast for them on time, take care of them after eating and going to work, and then help them wash and mop the floor and clean up the housework.

Originally, Aunt Ma thought that this would allow the little two to work with peace of mind, but the daughter-in-law felt that she had no private space at all. Several times I told Aunt Ma that her underwear and underwear did not need to be washed for her, but Aunt Ma thought that her daughter-in-law was polite and rushed to wash her every time.

Aunt Ma is distressed about her son and is never willing to let her son do a little housework, so after work, people in their 30s either lie on the sofa and play with their mobile phones, or play mobile phones in front of the computer.

The daughter-in-law is not accustomed to it, saying a few words about his son, but Aunt Ma blames the daughter-in-law and does not know how to hurt her husband.

Endure once, endure twice, watching her husband being taken care of like a child by her mother-in-law, like a child who will never grow up, the girl later divorced.

Today's young people like to be independent and do not like their private lives to be interfered with. Especially the current daughter-in-law, how many can withstand the criticism of the mother-in-law? Therefore, smart parents must know how to let go appropriately after their children start a family.

Even if they are occasionally in charge, there are children who know that all those who criticize themselves in advance, son-in-law and daughter-in-law are other people's children, and there are mistakes and other people's parents.

Parents who know how to mix less with their children's household affairs are smart people. It would be nice to have that time to raise flowers and vegetables, go out and relax your body and mind, and enjoy your retirement.

Write to the end:

Every parent wants to give the best in the world to their children, even if they have retired, two sideburns, but also want to selflessly pay for their children, that is, hope that their children have a good life, these parents selfless love makes people moved.

However, the efforts of the elderly should also have a degree, and this degree is based on the premise of taking care of themselves. Only if you live well, your children will be proud of you.

If you hollow yourself out for the sake of your children and let them think that these are all things you should do for them, they will not understand gratitude, and even intensify their efforts to "nibble on the old" and do some unfilial behavior, which will hurt the heart of the old man.

The greater the expectation, the greater the disappointment.

After retirement, please learn to be "selfish" appropriately, think more about yourself in everything, set aside enough pension money for yourself, have your own comfortable old house, pull up your wife who has accompanied you all your life, raise flowers, plant vegetables, and enjoy your retirement life.