In the book "Father's BlackFish", the emerging author Gong Gaofeng wrote: "Daughter-in-law and mother-in-law are natural enemies of each other, do not know how the Creator designed, generation after generation of mother-in-law, generation after daughter-in-law, children and grandchildren are infinitely poor." ”
Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are both women, both go through the process of daughter-in-law, daughter-in-law to mother-in-law, and should become the person who understands each other, but for various reasons, contradictions are frequent.
Xiao Tao and his wife Xiao Li have been married for many years, the relationship between husband and wife has been very good, but the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has exhausted him, and his mother is always looking for trouble, even if his wife tolerates everywhere, his mother still does not rely on it and spread rumors.
In Xiao Tao's view, his wife was courteous to her mother, avoided everywhere, and often gave money and things, but her mother actually treated his wife like this, thinking of these trivial matters, he was a big man who cried bitterly, and he did not know how to filial piety to his mother.
Parents all over the world want their children to live happily, why is Xiao Tao's mother so different? Let's take a look at their stories.
01 The strong mother-in-law wants to take power and requires her son and daughter-in-law to pay their wages
Xiaoli is a thrifty woman, in the past few years she has been following her husband out to work and earn money, watching her two children grow up, she stayed at home, while taking care of the children, while going to work.
Originally, she lived in the city, her mother-in-law lived in the countryside, the well water did not violate the river water, and the relationship should be very harmonious, but the mother-in-law went to the door twice every three days to find stubble, and repeatedly said in front of her: "The sons and daughters of the neighbors all give their wages to their parents and let the parents keep them, how filial and how good the daughters-in-law of other people's families are."
Because the mother-in-law likes to say that the parents are short, Xiaoli first heard the words of the mother-in-law and thought that she was chatting, but later found out that the mother-in-law was saying her true thoughts, and she wanted her son and daughter-in-law to give her all the salary.
The mother-in-law had such an idea, which made Xiao li angry, she thought that she was working hard to earn money, with children, reluctant to eat, reluctant to wear, the mother-in-law did not trust her, but also put her hand into their small family, it was too much, and there was no good face for the mother-in-law.
Originally, she was a person who was cold on the outside and hot on the inside, but now she has become cold on the outside and cold on the inside, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is precarious, and her husband Xiaotao is also caught in the middle.
I have seen such a sentence: a family is not harmonious, there are no more than three reasons, one is the mother-in-law offside, the second is the husband's absence, and the third is the wife's misalignment.
In the relationship between Xiaoli and her mother-in-law, it is obvious that the mother-in-law is offside and wants to take charge of the family for her son and daughter-in-law. As the saying goes, "a mountain cannot accommodate two tigers", a family can not accommodate two hostesses, only by retreating to their own positions, the family can operate normally.
02 The mother-in-law went to the daughter-in-law's mother's house to collect debts, and the daughter-in-law was wronged to take the money back to the mother's house
Xiao Li's mother-in-law said several times, Xiao Li was indifferent, did not give all the money in the family to her, she began to spread rumors everywhere, first to the neighbors complained, telling about the son and daughter-in-law is not filial piety, and then actually went to the daughter-in-law's mother's house to collect debts and let them repay the money.
Xiao Li knew that her mother-in-law had wronged her everywhere and went to her mother's house to find stubble, she was simply furious, and she really couldn't understand why her mother-in-law would say such a rumor?
The mother-in-law said to Xiaoli solemnly: "When your mother built a house a few years ago, didn't you give her tens of thousands of yuan back?" ”
When Xiao Tao heard this, he quickly explained: "That was borrowed by the mother-in-law who asked us to borrow it, and it was already returned to us, and the money was repaid in front of me." Moreover, if Xiaoli really took the money back to her mother's house, how could we buy two houses in recent years? Hearing Xiao Tao excuse Xiao Li, the mother-in-law still did not want to believe it.
Xiao Li immediately called her mother to her mother, and the four of them explained the matter clearly in front of the gong and drum. The mother-in-law saw her mother in front of her, guaranteed that the money was borrowed from her daughter and son-in-law, and had already repaid it, and usually the daughter bought her a dress, she would give the money, the mother-in-law did not chase after it.
After explaining this matter, the mother also said to her daughter Xiaoli: "You usually don't like to talk, and you love to have a cold face, which is not conducive to the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. ”
Xiao Li heard her mother's words and defended herself: "I am a real person, one is one or two is two, in my opinion, no matter how good the rhetoric is, it is not as good as buying the old man a few clothes to wear." ”
Xiao Li's idea is indeed correct, but the old man also has his own ideas, maybe she does not need you to give money and things, that is, she needs those seemingly useless sweet words to make her more comfortable.
03 After the mother-in-law said what she said in her heart, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law cried with headaches
Xiao Li's mother-in-law saw that everyone was helping Xiao Li speak, and her mother seemed reasonable, only she was like an evil person who was messing around and did not distinguish between right and wrong, and actually rushed into the house, collapsed on the bed and cried. As if to cry out her grievances and heartache, people can also understand and understand her.
Xiao Tao saw her mother crying hoarsely, and her heart was full of mixed feelings and sorrow. Xiao Li brought a bowl of water, slowly walked to her mother-in-law's side, and began to comfort her, letting her talk to herself about her heart.
The mother-in-law also stabilized her mood and began to tell her grievances, she said: "You are not at home, there is something going on in the village, I want to learn from you, but as soon as I say you, you are serious." ”
The daughter-in-law also explained: "I don't want to hear you say those words, when you say that others can't stand you, you should also think about whether you also have a place where you can't stand others, you don't like to hear these words, but once I ignore you, you think I give you a cold face." ”
From this dialogue, it can be seen that the mother-in-law likes to break her mouth, and the daughter-in-law cannot explain her, so the contradiction is getting deeper and deeper.
In fact, in Xiao Li's heart, she is also very grateful to her mother-in-law for helping her bring up two children, so that she can go out to earn money, and when they buy a house, take money to help. So she took the initiative to say to her mother-in-law: "I know that you help me with the child, when the farm is busy, you will give me a word, I will arrange a good time to come back to help, usually we are not at home, you have to bear more responsibility." ”
The mother-in-law also quickly shook her hand and said movingly: "Your mother has raised you to marry into our family for more than twenty years, and she has not suffered less, and I also thank you, and I only hope that you will call me often in the future." ”
After the two said what they said in their hearts, they hugged their heads and cried, which resolved the gap between their mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and Xiao Tao also solved the big problem.
Write at the end:
Psychologist Wu Zhihong said: "What matters is not what happens, but how the other party feels." We need to always remember that communication is the most important thing in intimate relationships. "
This passage applies not only to the relationship between husband and wife, but also to the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, how many mother-in-law and daughter-in-law contradictions, are due to poor communication with each other, and mutual suspicion, resulting in deterioration of the relationship, out of control.
As long as we talk well and listen well to others, the contradictions can dissipate and become a harmonious and happy family.
END——
Do you think Xiaoli's mother-in-law is excessive? Should Xiaoli forgive her? Feel free to leave a message in the comments section.