Regarding the matter of gathering less and leaving more between lovers, the Tang Dynasty poet Qin Guan wrote a famous sentence throughout the ages in the poem "Queqiao Immortal":
If the two loves are long, they are in the twilight of the dynasty.
The meaning of this sentence is that as long as the two lovers are truly in love with each other, even if they cannot be together for a long time, the love between them will be sweet and happy.
For couples with emotional foundations, small farewells are better than new joys, and missing each other when they are separated can make the two people more cherish their time together when they are reunited.
But for newlyweds whose love foundation is not yet solid, this view does not apply, two people who have just entered the married life, most of them are sensitive to each other's feelings, and they are eager to be able to make the marriage relationship between the two more stable by getting along for a long time.
If a couple whose love foundation is not solid, they do not know how to think from each other's point of view after marriage, give each other enough tenderness and care, over time, the marriage relationship between the two of them is likely to have a crisis.
Amin (pseudonym), a 32-year-old who lives in Quanzhou, Fujian Province, has been married to his wife, Ah Ling (pseudonym), for more than a year, but in October last year, Ah Ling suddenly returned to her mother's house and proposed to him to break up.
In order to be able to take his wife home, Amin and his parents went to Ah Ling's house one or two times, but Ah Ling always refused to go home and was determined to separate from Ah Ming.
The Amin family saw their daughter-in-law Tiexin leave, they were indignant, and loudly rebuked her in front of Ah Ling's house, what happened to make the relationship between the two people who had just been married for more than a year become so tense?
Ah Ming said that although he and Ah Ling have been married for more than a year, but the days when the two live together are few and far between, Ah Ling always refuses to sleep with him on the grounds that he is too tired or does not want to take a bath, he has not even seen what Ah Ling's body is, as long as he wants to turn on the light, Ah Ling immediately rejects him.
According to this, Amin believes that Ah Ling is disgusted with himself, not out of love to marry himself, and he even believes that his wife has never loved him.
In this regard, Ah Ling explained that he was drunk and wanted to be with me, and I definitely minded.
Ah Ling's mother said that her daughter and Amin were married at the beginning of December 7, 2020, and the 3rd day of the first month shortly after the marriage was Valentine's Day, but Amin did not have a little expression to her daughter, she went out at 6 o'clock in the morning, she was not at home for a day, and she was married for less than a month, and she did not put any thoughts on her daughter here, which made her daughter have a grudge against Amin.
Ah Ling added that Amin just had no feelings for me.
Amin has his own views on married life, he himself is a person who does not know how to be romantic, he feels that he has taken Ah Ling out to play before getting married, and after marriage, the two have become a family, they should live their lives, rather than paying attention to trivial details such as red envelopes on Valentine's Day and birthdays.
Born in an ordinary family, Amin felt that it was not easy for him to get married and start a family, and he wanted to maintain this marriage relationship wholeheartedly, but what he did not expect was that as early as last May, Ah Ling proposed to him to break up.
In order to save his wife's heart, Amin said to his wife, you work hard every day, I will give you 2,000 yuan a month for living expenses.
After hearing Amin's words, although A-Ling no longer mentioned the breakup, she was not satisfied with the amount of living expenses, and after bargaining, Amin increased the amount of living expenses for his wife to 3,000 yuan per month.
Amin's money offensive worked, he finally temporarily stabilized his marriage, but until October last year, Amin did not give his wife money because he had to pay car insurance, he said to his wife, I don't have to buy insurance next month, then give you some more money.
Amin thought that his wife could understand herself, but she did not expect that as soon as her wife heard that she would not give her money, she turned her face and proposed to break up, and returned to her mother's house in a negative mood.
In this regard, Ah Ling's mother explained that Ah Ling and Ah Ming married at the end of 2020, until July 2021, Ah Ming never gave her daughter a penny, and the daughter did not say anything at that time, and then Amin took the initiative to give her daughter money.
But Amin's father did not approve of his mother's words, and he felt that since Ah Ling did not want to continue her marriage with Amin, she should not take Amin's money again.
Amin's father recalled that in May last year, his mother called him and said that Ah Ling needed surgery, and he was working in a foreign country at the time, so he quickly asked his wife to call Ah Ling for 3,000 yuan, and he also called Ah Ling for 2,000 yuan.
For her father-in-law's words, Ah Ling denied that her mother-in-law had only called herself 1,000 yuan, and Ah Ling said that when she proposed to Ah Ming to break up in May, it was just a gamble, and even in September, she had lived with Ah Ming, but after she returned to her mother's house in October last year, Amin came to pick her up in December, which made her feel that Amin did not really love her, so now she can no longer be with Amin.
The mediator said to Ah Ling, now that Ah Ming still wants to reconcile with you, is it possible? In the face of this problem, Ah Ling's mother waved her hand and said that he was still scolding us outside the door just now, and he was noisy and noisy in my house, so can we still live together?
Ah Ling's father also said that the son-in-law's behavior has made their family lose face in the village, and he believes that at this time, the marriage relationship between the daughter and the son-in-law is difficult to break the mirror and reunite.
Seeing that his wife was determined to separate from himself, Amin took out a consumption detail, he said that he and Ah Ling from marriage to now, a total of more than 140,000 yuan, in addition to the gold utensils given to Ah Ling, the rest are given cash, the marriage relationship between the two only lasted more than a year, if the wife insists on separating, you have to return the money to yourself.
In this regard, Ah Ling's father said, I could have given him at most 10,000 or 20,000 yuan, gave him a step down, and now let the judicial office negotiate and deal with it.
At this point, the marriage story of Ah Ling and Ah Ming was declared over.
Sentiment Analysis:
Men and women's views on marriage are different, men's views on marriage are mostly pragmatic, they feel that the romance of pursuing love is only applicable before marriage, and after marriage, the husband and wife should live a plain life in a down-to-earth manner.
Women, on the other hand, pay more attention to ritual in their married life, and they are accustomed to determining that they are cherished in this marital relationship through the expression of their marital partners' love for themselves during major holidays.
It is precisely because Ah Ming does not understand this that Ah Ling's feelings for him will gradually fade.
And Amin's attempt to use money to maintain her previous marriage with Ah Ling is even more unwise, just so-called, those who make friends with profit, the profit is scattered, the person who accompanies you because of the benefit, if one day you can't give her more benefits, she will most likely leave you.
A very important reason why Ah Ling and Ah Ming will be separated is that the two get together less and leave more, in the marriage life of the two for more than a year, almost half of the time they live separately, and during their common life, the number of times they live together is also countless.
For a newlywed couple whose emotional foundation is not stable, it is very important to have a long time to get along after marriage, feelings can be cultivated, and newlyweds can only successfully pass the "run-in period" in their married life, and the marriage relationship between the two of them can be happy and stable.
(Picture from the Internet, invasion and deletion)