Do you think grandparents are obligated to bring grandchildren?
Some people think that there is, after all, grandchildren are their sons' children, the bloodline of their families. When grandchildren are born, it is the time when sons and daughters-in-law encounter the problem of having a career and a family. If parents feel sorry for their sons, they should help their grandchildren.
Moreover, ten years to see the mother-in-law and ten years to see the daughter-in-law, there is no obligation between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law, only love, if the in-laws refuse to help, it is likely to affect each other's affection, after getting old, it is difficult to count on the daughter-in-law.
Some people believe that the obligation of parents to their children only lasts until the children reach the age of 18, and when the children grow up, the parents' obligations are fulfilled.
Moreover, they do not believe in raising children to prevent old age, thinking that even if they pay, they cannot count on their sons and daughters-in-law when they are old, so why should they do thankless things?
I remember Takeshi Kitano once said: "The so-called rules, fundamentally considered, are actually for the sake of others." A bad person has no idea of 'considering other people's feelings'. ”
Whether it is husband and wife getting along, or mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, or even parents and children, we must know how to think differently, understand each other's difficulties, and try to find a suitable solution as much as possible, rather than from the beginning to the end you only think about the problem from your own point of view, only think of your own benefits, make unreasonable demands on the people around you, and once they refuse, they will take the sentiment to say things.
Moral kidnapping of others will not only make it difficult to achieve your goals, but also completely destroy the love between you, and even affect the harmony of the family.
Recently, the 64-year-old Uncle Li fell out with his son and daughter-in-law in order to bring his grandson or not, only because he felt that his son and daughter-in-law were whimsical and deceived too much.
"Other people bring grandchildren, good evil grandparents, but my wife and my grandson are not related by blood, but they ask her to take the baby for free, a straight-standing attitude, is this not a deliberate attempt to force us to separate?" 」
01.
It turned out that Uncle Li's wife died as early as 5 years ago, and in June last year, Uncle Li and Aunt Zheng became a couple, and they were accompanied by a pension and did not receive a license.
When it comes to finding a wife, Uncle Li is very dissatisfied with his son, only because his son strongly opposes Uncle Li's finding a wife.
"What? My mom has only been dead for a few years, and you're going to find another one? Are you worthy of my mom? ”
"If you look for another one, where will I bury you when you die?" With whom was it buried? ”
"Okay, you can remarry, and in case you're cheated, give me the three-bedroom apartment you bought with my mom and all your savings before you remarry, or don't blame me for not agreeing."
"Listen, is this what a son should say?" When my wife died, I was only 59 years old, at least for a decade or two, was I alone? ”
If the son and daughter-in-law are very filial and willing to live with Uncle Li, so that Uncle Li will not feel too lonely, Uncle Li will not move the idea of finding another wife. However, although the son and daughter-in-law are in the same city, they do not live with Uncle Li.
The principle of getting along with Uncle Li by the son and daughter-in-law can be summed up in one sentence, that is, there are things (lack of money, need help) shouting dad diligently, when there is nothing to do, I can't think of a week to make a phone call, let alone come to see Uncle Li.
"I'll call them, and if they're at work, they won't answer." After work, they would impatiently ask me what was wrong, and then talk about me, saying that they were so busy that I had nothing to do without looking for them. ”
02.
In March last year, Uncle Li was ill and hospitalized for half a month, during which time, the son made a phone call, chatted for less than two minutes, greeted a little, and the daughter-in-law did not ask the whole time.
In the end, Uncle Li could only pay for himself and ask a nurse to take care of himself, and the medical expenses were also paid by himself. At this point, Uncle Li felt more and more that his son and daughter-in-law were unreliable, and when he got old, he could not count on them, so he planned to find someone who could take care of himself.
Uncle Li did not take the opinions of his son and daughter-in-law to heart, insisted on remarrying, and looked at many objects.
"I'm also principled when I look for a wife, I'm not the kind of old man who wants to find a free nanny or covet other people's property, but I don't want to be calculated by others." 」
Uncle Li asked his wife to be tough, have a pension, and be able to cook (he can do other housework, but he really has no talent for cooking), and eventually, Uncle Li meets Aunt Zheng.
Aunt Zheng is 62 years old this year, has only one daughter under her knees, and is already married. Aunt Zheng is physically tough, has a pension of 2,000 yuan per month, and refuses to be idle, so she found a job with a monthly income of 4,000.
Uncle Li expressed his good feelings to Aunt Zheng, and after Aunt Zheng contacted him for a period of time, she agreed to take a pension with him, but Aunt Zheng made a request.
"First of all, we don't get a license, we just live together. A lot of age, do not pay attention to this, besides, if you get a marriage license, in case it is not appropriate, you want to separate and have to divorce, more toss people. Secondly, I have to continue to work, it is impossible to take care of housework, other tasks such as mopping the floor, drying clothes, throwing garbage, etc. You share more, and the task of cooking is entrusted to me. In the end, we agreed that whose children would cause us trouble would be responsible for it, rather than helping our relatives and not helping us. ”
Uncle Li happily agreed to Aunt Zheng's request, and the two of them lived together and took care of each other. When Aunt Zheng went out to work, Uncle Li was doing hygiene at home, buying vegetables, and waiting until Aunt Zheng returned to show her cooking skills, and the two lived happily.
03.
Two months ago, Uncle Li's daughter-in-law gave birth to a second child and added a granddaughter to him, which made Uncle Li feel very happy.
"In fact, when my daughter-in-law was pregnant in her later stages, she asked me to let my wife live in her house, take care of her, and wait for the confinement. I didn't mention it to my wife, I told a friend, he was trained, he told me, there was an old man next to him who forced his new wife to serve his daughter-in-law, and the two fell out. I think, too, and not the mother-in-law, where does she have the obligation to serve? ”
Therefore, Uncle Li did not agree to the daughter-in-law's request, but gave the daughter-in-law 20,000 yuan and asked the daughter-in-law to ask someone to take care of her.
The daughter-in-law took the money and hired a nanny, and it was not until the confinement was completed that the daughter-in-law dismissed the nanny.
However, after dismissing the nanny, the daughter-in-law started Aunt Zheng's idea again, hoping that Aunt Zheng would help with the child. Uncle Li perfunctorily put it in the past, and they were still not dead hearted, and directly brought it up in front of Aunt Zheng, which made Uncle Li feel very embarrassed.
Seeing Uncle Li's attitude, Aunt Zheng's anger dissipated a lot, and she also took a step back, telling Uncle Li that if they were willing to give her 3,000 yuan a month to take the baby's hard fee, she could consider it.
"Grandma with grandchildren, but also 3,000 hard fees?" Listening to Aunt Zheng's request, Uncle Li's son and daughter-in-law refused to accept it, believing that Aunt Zheng's request was excessive, and saw that the money was open.
Seeing that the money-eyed and selfish people are their own wives, or sons and daughters-in-law, Uncle Li knows this and unceremoniously replies to them: "She is my new wife, and she has no direct relationship with you, nor is she a grandmother, where is the obligation to bring a baby?" Besides, she earns 4,000 a month, if you bring a baby, you have to resign, as long as 3,000, and earn 1,000 less, who loses? ”
The son and daughter-in-law accused Uncle Li of elbowing outwards and not being considerate of his children and grandchildren, and Uncle Li was too lazy to talk nonsense with them, and picked up a broom and knocked them out of the house.
04.
Liu Liu, the screenwriter of "Double Sided Glue", once said: "In the trivial life of chicken feathers, what women care about most is often not how to resolve the contradiction itself, but in the process of resolving the contradiction, whether the husband is standing behind him." ”
If Uncle Li stood in the position of his son and daughter-in-law and helped his son and daughter-in-law to ask Aunt Zheng to bring her granddaughter, If Aunt Zheng was not happy, she could completely leave and cut off contact with Uncle Li.
At that time, not only will there be no one to bring a baby, but Uncle Li's happy old age will also be in vain. And his son and daughter-in-law will not really take responsibility for this, honoring Uncle Li.
Instead of ruining your old age for the sake of your disrespectful children and grandchildren, you should think for yourself, and there is nothing wrong with that.
END.
Xiao Qiqi asked you to comment: Do you think Uncle Li's approach is correct? Feel free to share your views in the comments section.