When he was young, he was determined to be an unmarried family
I am a 53 year old woman who was terrified of marriage when she was young, so she decided not to marry and be infertile, and to be a free and free unmarried person. Although my parents are very anxious, every year urge me to get married, constantly instilled in me the concept of how good it is to get married, but I am still unmoved, I see that my two good sisters are not happy at all after marriage, they are around their husbands and children in-laws all day long, there is no private time and space, every day there is endless housework, there are endless quarrels, endless three meals a day, I firmly believe in not getting married. Over the years I have put all my energy into working and spending time with my parents.
But these two years were an eventful autumn, and my father died of cerebral hemorrhage in 18 years, followed by my mother's death due to stomach cancer in 19 years.
After dealing with my mother's affairs, I came home alone, turned on the light, saw the empty living room, I suddenly felt extremely lonely, and at that moment I realized that all my previous freedom came from my parents. Although I have always been single, but a few days a month I will come back to spend with my parents, I am still their palm pearl, I will bring them a lot of supplements, accompany them, with them, I feel very solid inside, now that they are gone, my inner dependence has disappeared, and now I am alone.
#02
When both parents die, there are great fluctuations in the heart
Since then, whenever I came home at night, the house was deserted, and there used to be the company of the little naughty dog, but in August when I was 12 years old, it died of organ aging, and that morning I got up and felt a little abnormal, because at this time the little naughty would come around me, but it was very quiet, I walked over to see if it was sick, and when I shook it hard and it didn't move, I knew that it was old and dead, and left me without any signs. Since the dog's death, I have been sitting alone in the living room, and no matter how loud the SOUND of the TV is turned on, I still feel extremely lonely inside. It wrapped around me like an invisible net, and I had nowhere to escape.
This feeling is the most profound during the New Year's Festival, other people's homes are lively, children are bouncing around, full of laughter, and I can only bear this loneliness alone.
Sometimes when I see those small children in the community, I think they are so cute, and at the same time I regret that I did not have a son and a half daughter before, and now I can't give birth to children. When I was young, I hated children very much, and I felt that children just hated ghosts and didn't want to have children in this life. What I didn't expect was that my mind changed over time and I wanted kids now, but I really couldn't have children.
Some people will say that you can make friends, usually have time to hang out with friends, indeed, I have been in touch with a few friends, but they are usually busy, rarely have time to accompany me, one is busy with grandchildren, teach him to write every day, one is busy working to make money, is a desperate workaholic, so many times I am alone.
I think that if there is regret medicine in the world, I should not be an unmarried family, the death of my parents made me realize that I am not a firm unmarried family, I still long for the warmth of the family, longing for the company of relatives.
#03
Please think twice before you get married
The reason why I say these things today is just that I hope that friends who decide not to marry can be rational and think twice.
1, if you are just afraid of marriage, afraid of the spouse is unreliable, afraid of not handling the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, then I advise you to try to get married once, if after marriage finds that it is really not what you want, you are really unhappy, the spouse is very scummy, the mother-in-law is very evil, then then consider divorce is OK, do not take other people's bad experience on yourself, think that you will be like ta, in case you live very happy, if you do not even give yourself the opportunity to try, then you are a coward.
2, if you are because you are poor and can not get married, then please work hard to make money, do not waste time playing games, although you are also at work during the day, but I still think you are lazy, because people really get added value is not when they go to work, but after work to summarize and learn.
3, if you do not want to have children, then you have to figure out a few questions, is it because you don't like it? No money to support? Or is it not free? Whatever the reason, I just want to say a few words here: people's ideas change, and when we are young, we don't know the preciousness of the troublesome thing until we are old, so you can't just consider the current difficulties, but think about it, and when I am older, can I really live without it.